Mass Effect: Logical Insanity Part 1
by ougabouga
Summary: AU Fic that picks up after the events from the first game. What if the Council took the Reaper threat seriously? What if Cerberus didn't become a galactic superpower overnight? What if someone else on the Normandy liked Gilbert and Sullivan?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Present...Arms!" The honour guard snapped to attention. The air was cold and damp, it was raining lightly but constantly, yet the sound of their boots snapping on the ground had a dry sound to it. She stared straight ahead, her jaw tightly clenched, standing at attention, as immobile as any of the tombs around her.

"Fire!"

Seven ancient bolt action rifles fired one volley in the air. Birds scattered somewhere nearby, startled by the crackling of gunfire. Though if the birds were frequent denizens here, they would've been accustomed to sound by now. She was used to them. Well, not completely. No matter how many of these she'd been through, each volley was different, each volley a different wound, each wound its own place, it's own time, it's own set of circumstances, it's own name.

"Fire!"

Kaidan Alenko was the name now. Virmire was the place. 10 days ago. Was it only, really ten days? So much had happened since then. So much had changed. But one thing didn't. A soldier under her command was dead. _Some things never change_. The cemetery was on a hill overlooking Stanley Park. Beyond it rose the cityscape of Vancouver, beyond that lied the majestic Rocky Mountains, now enshrouded by mist and cloud. Kaidan had talked a lot about growing up here. About refusing to buy a raincoat or umbrella when he moved because nowhere else did it rain like in his hometown.

"Fire!"

The final volley fired. The shots echoed in the distance. An interminable silence ensued where time seemed to stop. Raindrops suspended in the air, the wind died. Then the bugler began playing taps. The dirge was accompanied by Mrs. Alenko's loud weeping. Mr. Alenko held his wife's arm. His face was wet, tears and rain mingled on his face. He had his son's vibrant eyes. Though now retired, he wore his dress uniform and looked dignified despite the obvious sorrow. Mrs. Alenko had her son's face. They were both in their fifties and Kaidan had been an only child. The legacy of the Alenko family resided in an empty coffin.

The pallbearers began folding up the Alliance flag. Admiral Hackett gathered the folded flag and presented it to the grieving parents. He spoke a few quiet words. Kara Shepard knew the words, she'd uttered them herself far too many times. _On behalf of the President of the Earth Alliance, the Alliance Navy and a grateful planet, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honourable and faithful service_.

All assembled and saluted as the coffin was slowly lowered to the ground. This wasn't a snap salute that you normally gave. It was slow, deliberate, honouring Kaidan's service and sacrifice. They lowered their arms only when the coffin was fully interred. Then they were dismissed.

Shepard looked beside her to Ashley Williams. Ashley turned to look at her and nodded slightly, she wiped her face with her gloved hands. The crew of the Normandy was around them. Joker, Garrus, Wrex, Presley, Tali, Liara, all of them. They slowly made their way towards Mr. and Mrs. Alenko, an informal queue of well-wishers formed. There was a throng around them, family and other servicemen. Shepard stared straight ahead, not looking around. She felt boxed in, people on all sides, tightly crammed together. She wasn't really listening to the sounds around her. Focused on her internal world. _What did I do wrong?_ She asked, no closer to an answer to that question than she'd been 10 days ago.

She found herself at the front of the procession. Major Alenko saw her and extended his hand. Kara shook his head. She was surprised when his other hand gripped her forearm.

"He told he me he was proud to have served with you. You were the finest commander he'd ever had." He said quietly, struggling to maintain his composure.

"It was an honour to have him in my command, sir." Shepard said quietly. "He died a hero. You have a lot to be proud of."

He nodded slightly, still gripping her with both hands. "I..." Shephard began, a lump materializing in her throat. She coughed, trying vainly to clear her throat. Major Alenko watched her patiently, still holding her.

"I wish there was..." Shepard stopped when she saw him shake his head.

"There was nothing you could have done." He said. "Do not blame yourself, Commander." He shook her hand for emphasis but his voice quivered. "He was a soldier. He gave his life for his fellow man. His death was not in vain. That is enough." He released her hand. With tears forming, Major Alenko saluted her. Shepard returned his salute.

Shepard now found herself in front of Mrs. Alenko. The woman reached for the Commander and hugged her. It was brief. The woman was doing her best to hold herself together, but was struggling. Frequently wiping tears from her face.

"I'm so sorry." Shephard said.

"He was really happy to be serving with you." She said, struggling to form coherent sentences. "Thank you for everything you did for him."

 _Not enough._ She didn't know what else to say. There was an awkward pause and then Mrs. Alenko spoke with Ashley. Shepard walked away, people parted, moving away from her, as if they were afraid of touching her, as if she carried a virulent hex, as if she were a cursed wind spreading death and pestilence. _They know about my nickname._ She sighed, almost in relief, when she was away and alone. She looked around. Tombstones lined, row upon row, poppies and laurels upon them. The grass finely cut, the grounds impeccably maintained. It was all so peaceful and clean. Fitting that those who died in the throes of the world's oldest and most violent profession found rest here.

"You okay, skip?" Ashley appeared beside her. Shepard didn't look at her.

"I'm fine." She said, trying to sound firm but instead sounded the opposite. Shepard was hoping that was the end of this. But was surprised when Ashley gently touched her arm. Despite the cold dampness, a dry warmth seemed to emanate from there, and seemed to posses the ability to spread to the rest of her body.

"No, you're not." Ash said with quiet firmness. "Got any plans?"

Shepard turned to look at Ashley. Her hand dropped and Shepard felt something like disappointment at this. Ashley made no attempt to hide her concern. A friend's concern for one in need. She almost didn't recognize it.

"Plans?" Shepard said in a bewildered tone.

"Yeah," Ash said quietly. "What were you planning to do with the rest of your leave?"

"No idea." Shepard said, as if she was presented with a gift and had no idea of its purpose.

"Why don't you spend some time with me? Meet my family. You can crash in the spare bedroom." Ash ventured. Shepard's initial instinct was to say no. As if Ashley could read her thoughts, she spoke again, with greater firmness.

"It would do you some good." Maybe there was some truth to that. She liked to keep her own company, but every once in a while, it was good to hang out with someone else. Maybe this was one of those times. Maybe spending time with her would keep her busy, keep her away from the temptations of idleness.

"Okay. You're right." Kara said, forcing a weak smile. Relief passed over Ashley's face.

"Ready to go?" Ashley asked.

Shepard shook her head. "Wanna say goodbye to everyone and I have to hit the head."

"Okay. I'll meet you in the parking lot, skipper."

She found Anderson talking with Alliance brass, including Admiral Hackett. Anderson saw her coming. He separated himself from the crowd and walked towards her. They saluted another.

"How are you doing, Shepard?" Anderson asked, not bothering to finish his salute before he started talking.

"Okay, I guess." She answered, lowering her hand.

"Don't second guess yourself. There was nothing you could've done." He said firmly.

Shepard nodded perfunctorily. "Any idea about what's next?" She asked.

Anderson almost look relieved at the change in topic, though it was hardly a cheerful topic. "It looks like the Council is finally taking the Reaper threat seriously. We're formulating a plan, and you're going to be at the centre of it, but that can wait until your leave is finished."

"Sir, permission to come back from leave and return to duty immediately." Shepard said. Work. That was what she really needed. To be kept busy. To prepare for the Reapers. Ashley's family could wait.

"Denied." Anderson said flatly. "You're going to need to be well rested for what's ahead, Shepard. I have a feeling what's going to come in the next few months is going to pale in comparison to what just happened. Enjoy shore leave, it might be the last leisure time you have for a long time."

"Yes, sir." Shepard said. They saluted and parted company. Shepard made her way towards the chapel. There were groups of people scattered about, chatting amongst themselves. She saw various members from the Normandy mingling with strangers. Funerals were odd social events. She didn't look towards them, didn't see if they saw her, acknowledged her. It was better if she passed incognito, even if just for her own sake.

She was happy to be inside, her dress uniform was quite wet, clinging rather uncomfortably to her body. She made her way towards the washroom, down a hallway and around a corner. There was a group three marines there, 2 men and a woman, all junior officers, chatting quietly amongst themselves. They stopped talking the moment they saw her and fixed her with accusatory eyes. She pretended to ignore them but could feel their eyes hammering into her like stakes. Her pace quickened, almost running, and was relieved to find the ladies room empty.

After finishing her business in the stall she walked over to the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Her blue eyes were bloodshot from the tears she'd been pushing back, from the grief, the strain and everything else. Her short blonde hair was darkened from being so wet. She removed her wet gloves and placed them on the sink's railing.

"Fucking Commander Shepard," She heard the marines talking outside. There were a few laughs, tainted by bitterness.

"First human Spectre? My left bollock would do a better job." Said the first voice.

"I knew something bad would happen when Alenko told me Shepard was his new CO." The female marines began.

"Did you ask him if he was scared working under Dead Shep?" The first marine asked.

"Yeah. Got pissed when I told him her nickname. Said it was bullshit."

"What's it mean?" The other male said. There were a few guffahs. The first voice then answered.

"Means someone always ends up dead under her. She got her whole team killed on Akuze. Hung 'em out to dry and she just hid and waited for a fucking bug to go away like some little girl. Gave her a bloody medal for that. Ripe load of bullocks. Now she got Alenko killed. Fuck." He sighed.

"Alenko was a top bloke, you know. Heart on his sleeve, and he always had your back if anything went tits up."

"Yeah, a soldier's soldier. Heart of gold." The female said. There was a silence among them.

"Come on," the first soldier said. "Let's go to the pub. We'll drink to Alenko."

She heard their footsteps as they walked away. Shepard gripped the porcelain railing of the sink hard, squeezing it, trying to crush it with her bare hands. She looked at the mirror, her hard blue eyes staring back at her. _Dead Shep_. _Damn them!_ She lashed out, throwing her fist into the mirror, smashing it. The pain was sharp and searing as countless tiny shards dug into her skin.

"Fuck!" She cried out, staring at her bloodied and bleeding hand. It was equal parts pain, frustration, anger and sadness. She stared at it for a few moments, as if fascinated by the streams of blood, the tiny shards she could make out digging into her skin. She plugged the sink and filled it with water. She submerged her bleeding hand into the water.

The chlorine stung deeply and her body trembled. She continued to mumble curses to herself. There was no first aid kid in here, she hadn't refilled her Omni-Tool with medigel before leaving the Normandy. She couldn't just stumble out of a funeral in full dress uniform with a bleeding hand. With her free hand she pulled out two larger mirror shards. She swore under her breath. She heard footsteps outside. She swore under her breath. Just what she needed, some stranger stumbling in on her.

"Skipper?" Ashley came into the washroom. _Fuck!_ Her eyes darted from the broken mirror to Shepard's bloodied hand. Shepard expected some form of condescension or reproach from her. Instead Ash just walked over to her. "Oh Captain, my captain." She whispered, almost soothingly. She grabbed Shepard's bloodied hand and activated her Omni-Tool. Medigel emitted from the comportment. The hot pain was replaced with a refreshing, cooling sensation as the mirrored shards were ejected from her skin and the wounds began to heal.

"Having a little sister like I do, you're prepared for anything." Ashley explained. Kara didn't know what to say. _I'm her CO. She can't see me like this. I can't show weakness, doubt, fear._ Ash gave her a warm smile. There wasn't a hint of judgement or disapproval in her. It dissipated the embarrassment she felt.

"Let's go." Ash said with a warm, comforting smile. Kara stood and smiled awkwardly. Then she grabbed her gloves and started out.

The rain had stopped for the moment though the sky remained a dull grey. They parted ways with the Normandy crew. Liara had been summoned to the Citadel by the asari government. Garrus was also recalled to the Citadel for further orders. Tali seemed uncomfortable here, being on Earth another reminder of her people's nomadic existence. She too was returning to the Citadel.

Kara spoke with Wrex last.

"Shepard."

"Wrex."

"This was a nice ceremony." He began. "Our ancient texts are filled with elaborate funeral rites. They would go on for days. If a battlemaster died in combat, his slayer or the slayer's kin would attend and be the first one to light the pyre. No one remembers them now thanks to the Genophage. You'd think there being fewer of us would make us value life more, but it's the other way. We spend our whole lives ranting about the genophage, but never do anything about it except kill ourselves. Life is cheap. We just don't care anymore." He sighed loudly. "I'm going back to Tuchanka. Following you around gave me this crazy idea that one person can make a difference. It's time we move on and make things better for ourselves. I might as well be the one to try."

"Good luck, Wrex." Kara said with genuine admiration. He'd come a long way in a short time. To know that she'd inspired this aged Krogan honoured her. She shook the krogan's hand firmly.

"If I can do anything to help you, I will." She said.

Wrex nodded. "I know I can rely on you. You've got yourself quite a quad. Later, Shepard."

"Later Wrex."

She eagerly left the funeral, she spied Ashley in the parking lot, and her mood brightened, if only slightly. _Maybe they're right. Maybe this is what I need. Who knows? I might actually have fun._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kara rode shotgun while Ashley drove them to the airport. They would board a flight to take them to Ashley's family. _Family_. Something she'd never had. The navy was close. Her foster family and the Reds were poor substitutes, something she didn't realize until later.

She understood the need for leave, but rarely relished it. Time away from work meant time she might feel tempted to slip back into old habits. She had no friends outside the service. Hers was a life of service to something greater than herself. That was what mattered. And this was truer now than she'd ever known it.

They'd come perilously close to the extinction of every sentient species in the galaxy. Their victory was costly and temporary. She was encouraged by Anderson's words, it seemed the Council wasn't about to bury it's head in the sand. They made it the airport, proceeding through customs they waited in the departure lounge. They sat in a restaurant. A waiter quickly came to take their drinks order.

"Two scotches." Ash said.

"One!" Kara said sharply. "I'll have some Duncan Hills coffee."

Ash looked at her oddly. But she saw Kara's furrowed brow and wisely decided not to press the topic. The waiter came with their drinks.

"More coffee?" Ash said. Kara nodded.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were addicted to the stuff." Ash said, trying to lighten the mood, seeing how hers had darkened.

"Well, there's worse things to be addicted to." Kara said. _You would know._

"So," Ash began with a warm and patient tone. "What happened back there?"

They sipped from their drinks. "I have a…reputation."

"No shit." Ash said dryly.

"I've had a lot of people die under my command. But, this is really about Akuze. Someone started a rumour that I sacrificed my men while I hid like some little baby, waiting for rescue to come. Came up with the nickname Dead Shep."

"I've heard it." Ashley admitted. She grabbed her glass and sipped, as if this admission were a confession of a deep and terrible shame.

Kara drank some more coffee. "When I was in the can, I heard some people outside talking shit about me. Called me Dead Shep. I wanted to punch their faces inside out, but since getting into a fight at a funeral rubs people the wrong way, I did the next best thing and punched a mirror." She put her drink down and sighed. "It's followed me like some old curse. No matter how hard I try, no matter how I try to learn, people always die under me. Kaidan's just the latest. "

Ash said sympathetically after a few moments silence. "You're not to blame for those people dying, not Kaidan, not anyone at Akuze, not anyone else."

"Yes-" Kara began.

"No, you're not!" Ash said, slamming her palm against the table. The table wobbled beneath them. Kara was taken aback. Ash leaned back with her drink to recover her composure. "I guess it's good to know I'm not the only one here with a big chip on my shoulder."

"Yeah, we got that in common." Kara said.

"That's not all we have in common." Ashley said, deepening her tone.

"Oh yeah? What else?" Kara asked.

"We're both ultimate badasses!" Ash said with a smile.

Kara grinned, happy for the change of subject. "I'll drink to that." They clanged their glasses together and sipped some more. Kara turned to her left, watching people float by the departure lounge, some going, some coming. She wondered, not for the first time, if they had any inkling of how close they had come to catastrophe just a few days ago. They probably heard the news about an attack on the Citadel, but the details were being hushed up and the council was still very coy about what happened. Would they ever know the truth? And if they did, how would they react? Would it change them? They received a message their flight was ready for boarding. Their finished their drinks and set for the gate.

* * *

The Williams household was in a modest neighborhood. The lawn and gardens were well maintained, a detail that Kara did not find surprising given all she knew about Ashley. Kara found herself fidgeting nervously on the drive. She could find no rational reason why she was suddenly nervous. She wasn't readying for a combat mission, preparing a briefing for top brass or approaching Joker about his pornography habits. Maybe this was what kids felt, the first time they met the parents of their prospective boyfriend or girlfriend. But that was silly. This wasn't anything like that.

They sat around the dinner table, eager for Mrs. Williams to bring in the meal, a simmering roast that smelled divine. Sarah was outgoing, equally eager to catch up with her sister as she was to get to know her. The resemblance was uncanny, though Sarah had shorter hair. She felt comfortable, at home. _Like I belong here._

Mrs. Williams brought in the trays with the food. She sat at the head of the table. Mrs. Williams sat at the head of the table. "Will our guest of honour say grace?"

Kara looked nervously around the table. "Eh, I don't know how to say grace."

The Williams women chuckled. "Don't worry about it, skip. Just repeat after me." Ash said and led her through the saying of grace. When it was over, Kara remembered her manners and was sure not to just dig in for the food because that would be rude and leave a bad impression. _Be sure to say please and thank you._ Her preconceptions were destroyed when her hosts dug into to the food, unceremoniously dumping the meat and vegetables onto their plates and voraciously devouring their meals. _When in Rome._ After dinner they sat in the living room. Kara liked this, time to relax. Ashley had other ideas.

"Let's go clubbing." She said.

Kara groaned.

"Come on. Don't be such a party pooper." Ash said with a beckoning, pleading smile.

 _Well, I've come this far._ "Okay." She said.

* * *

Several hours later they came out of the club. The air was refreshingly cool on their warm and sweaty bodies. They walked towards the lot where Ash's car was parked. Kara felt uncomfortable with her outfit clinging to her body now. She didn't like tight fitting clothes even though they were more fashionable. Although she had to admit Ashley didn't look so bad in them. Despite herself, she'd had some fun, stepped out of her comfort zone and hadn't regretted it.

"I can't believe no hot guys tried to pick us up." Ashley said.

"Two beautiful women dancing together? They probably thought we were together." Kara said. She looked at Ashley. Then realizing what she'd said, looked away quickly. She laughed nervously to make the awkwardness pass.

"Nah, I don't think it was that." Ashley said. Kara found the courage to look at her friend. An odd grin was forming on the edge of her mouth. "I think they were scared away by your crappy dancing."

"You're dead, Williams." Kara said sternly. "I think you just volunteered for three weeks of KP." The facade lasted for two seconds before they both laughed. They found the car.

So," Ash said as they entered the car. "What do you wanna do tomorrow night?"

Kara shrugged. Ashley opened her Omni-Tool.

"This is interesting." Ash said after some browsing. "This bar down the road has an open jam night. I'd like to see you play." Ash said with a smile. "I hope you're better with a guitar than with a rifle."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ashley's answer was sly grin and a wink.

* * *

The pub was called The Screaming Lion. Kara had left her guitar on the Normandy, she was hoping she would be able to borrow someone's. She'd never jammed with other musicians before so she was rather nervous.

The pub looked rustic on the outside, with an old-style hanging sign of a lion's head in full roar, wood exterior with bright contrasting colours of red, green and brown. The sun was beginning to set. Inside was much the same with attempts at invoking a bygone age, vintage signs, posters and paintings carpeted the walls so much that you couldn't tell what colour the wall actually was. Not far from the bar was a small bandstand with a basic drum kit, vintage amps and microphones. Kara smiled. She loved vintage equipment. There was a warmth and unpredictability that you couldn't replicate with modern technology. The legendary Hammond organ would sound different each time it was powered on, a shame there were none left.

Ash found them a table while Kara went to find a guitar she could borrow. It didn't take her long to find someone willing to share, a kindly looking man in his 40s. She detected only genuine kindness from him. A rarity in any age.

She sat back down and ordered a round of drinks, she ordered Scotch for Ashley and coffee for herself. The first group went on and broke into a rendition of _Don't Fear the Reaper_. Kara and Ash looked at another and laughed. It was a good rendition but it was missing something. Kara enjoyed the music as they ran through the usual gamut of pub rock favorites, mostly songs from a hundred years ago. These musicians were like her, more comfortable with old equipment, old music.

Kara's turn came up after they'd downed their second round of drinks. The borrowed guitar was a copy of a Gibson Les Paul with sunburst colours. She'd lusted after an authentic one since she picked up the instrument. Strapping it on it felt warm and comfortable. She looked at Ash across the room and the two friends smiled at another.

She was joined onstage by another male guitarists, a bassist and an asari drummer. Without waiting for anyone, she broke into a basic blues riff, 12 bar blues. The others quickly fell into step. They didn't just fall into step, but in sync. The bassist came up the mike and started singing improvised lyrics. Kara added in little fills after each lyric. The drummer knew just when to do a fill of her own. The other guitarist was equally adept. They were five playing as one, listening to the other, and not just playing over the other. Kara didn't want this to end, she was completely at ease.

From across the room Kara's eyes met Ashley's. An odd tremor when through her. Kara closed her eyes and launched into a soulful solo. It was far beyond any solo she'd ever improvised. She swayed her body in time with her solo, completely lost and absorbed in the music. She couldn't believe her own ears, much less that she was responsible for this divine, fluid flurry of notes. It was like a choir of a thousand angels were singing through her little fingers. Her solo kept building and building, the tension continuing to grow until it was an inescapable centrifugal force, like a black hole sucking in everything around it. And then she held the last note for two full seconds before unleashing a massive flurry of notes, releasing the tension with a fiery climax.

She opened her eyes. The entire pub was erupted with riotous applause. The musicians beside her were impressed as well. _Holy shit_. She felt lightheaded, her chest heaving, she stumbled and almost fell. From across the room her eyes met Ashley's again. Their eyes held another for what seemed like an eternity, but was only for a few fractions of a second. A stranger walked in front of Ashley and broke their gaze.

"We want more! We want more! We want more!" The crowd chanted. Kara and the others were only too happy to indulge them.

It was almost an hour later when Kara was allowed to leave the stage. She was sweating and shaking with adrenaline. As she walked towards Ashley's table, everyone wished her well and congratulations, and she quickly found herself struggling with three complimentary drinks in her hands. _Oh shit!shit!shit!shit!_ She forced herself to look away from them. Ash quickly liberated them from her friend's hands. Kara sighed with relief when the booze was taken away.

"Kara, that was so awesome!" Ash said, wearing a deep, almost awed smiled.

"Thanks." Kara said, touched by her friend's praise.

They went outside to the rear patio. There was a nice cool breeze running through the air, the sun had fully set but there was more than enough lighting on the patio. They found a table and sat down. Kara was slowly coming down from her adrenaline high. Kara thrust all of her complimentary drinks towards Ashley.

"Wow!" Ash gushed. Kara found herself blushing. "Where'd you learn to play?"

Kara leaned back in her chair. "It started when I was a kid, growing up on the street. There was this busker who played on this one street corner. Everyone him the Blues King. He would play all day and never played the same thing twice. I would sit next to him while he played, sometimes I would try to sing or dance along to whatever we played. Even though I was this little girl hanging out with this old guy in his 70s, he gave me 10%. He was the only sanctuary I had from my shitty foster family. His favourite saying was something that made no sense to me back then, but does now. 'Sometimes you have the play the notes that are there, sometimes you have to play the notes that aren't there'."

"But that wasn't the best time of my life." Kara was about to leave at that, like she had so many times before. Her youth was sealed in a vault. Nothing could penetrate it, should penetrate. Talking about it made her weak, vulnerable, just some other self pitying oaf. But something about how Ash looked at her broke through her barriers. She sighed.

"He died when I was 12. Old age and poverty isn't good for you. He was a nice man but he was a drinker. Had a water bottle he filled with whatever cheap booze he could get his hands on. He gave me my first drink when I was 11. When he died, I fell into gangs. It wasn't until I signed up that I picked up the guitar. Learned in my spare time." She said quickly, eager to avoid any discussion of her adolescence.

"I can't imagine you being on the street. So young." Ash said sympathetically.

"Did a lot of stuff I regret. Saw a lot of things." And for the first time in her life, Kara told someone about her experiences. Ash listened to her openly, with sympathetic eyes and ears. Kara felt like she was having an out of body experience, not believing she was finally telling someone about growing up.

It wasn't long after her first taste of alcohol she had her first taste of hard drugs, and fell into a deep, dark abyss. One small step became a grand leap. Her life centered around the drugs. Getting more of them. She stole to feed her habit. She sold herself to feed her habit. More than a few men and women were happy to take advantage of a young girl to feed their own perverse needs. She'd suffered more than her share of beatings, violations and assaults.

"When I started, I made up all these rules of what I wouldn't do. I wouldn't steal, I wouldn't sell myself. On my 13th birthday I stole my foster family's jewellery to get some blow. Some of it had been in their family for hundreds of years. There was a silver necklace that belonged to an ancestor who survived the Holocaust. Later I started doing tricks. I said, I'll do this but I won't go all the way, I won't do it with older men, I wouldn't go to gangbangs." She laughed bitterly. "Didn't take me long to break those rules, either."

"One day, I got out of a detox centre. Rehab was just a place I went to when I wanted to get away from my foster family or the gang. They knew my type. They knew they'd see me again. When you're doing drugs, you know you should stop, but you can't help yourself. I knew I was fucked, but I couldn't find a way out. It was easier to get high than to do anything else."

"I scored some blow with a buddy of mine, Teddy Quint. We got high. We fucked. When I woke up, he was dead. His cold body was pressed against mine... Those dead, empty eyes of his staring into mine...I just got out and walked. And walked. I kept walking until I found myself in the fancy part of town. I looked around and there was a recruitment station. Still not sure why, but I signed up. Here I am, almost 10 years later."

Not for the first time that night, Ash was looking at her friend with even more admiration than before. "I… I don't know what to say." Ash said. A long lasting burden had been lifted from Kara's shoulders. She felt it physically as well as mentally. Why did it take so long to find someone she could trust this much?

"That's why I don't drink." Kara said. "Caffeine's the only drug I do."

Ash reached over and touched her friend's arm. Kara looked at her friend who was now looking at her with great warmth and compassion. Ash squeezed Kara's arm. Kara felt a strange feeling coursing through her. It was equally thrilling and terrifying. Could she trust Ashley? Trust her with truths she'd never shared? Would she ever be diminished in her friends eyes for sharing this? Looking at Ashley, she knew the answer to those questions. An answer she'd never received before. She looked away suddenly, as if she'd been staring at the sun.

"How long have you been sober for?" Ashley asked.

"9 years, 9 months and 12 days." She answered with pride. Ash squeezed her arm and gave her an admiring smile.

"So, how come you haven't scooped up some lucky guy?" Ash asked, sipping the last from her drink, pulling her arm back.

"Guys don't do it for me anymore." Kara said and looked away again, suddenly eager to avoid her friend's gaze. Ash was quiet for a moment. Contemplating something.

"Not any?" Ashley asked, without a hint of being judgemental.

"Well, I guess I'd make an exception for Dirk Hardpeck." Kara said. The two women laughed, thinking about the incredibly handsome and muscled star of the Space Mutiny movies. It was said even salarian females fashioned him.

"How about you?" Kara asked.

"I'm just looking for a special guy, who who's strong and sensitive. I've been with strong men who weren't sensitive and sensitive men who weren't strong." Ash said before imbibing further.

"Listen, Ash." Kara said more seriously. "I've never told anyone that before, about growing up." Their eyes met again and Kara smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

Ash nodded. "Oh, captain, my captain. My friend."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Shore leave had done wonders. She'd actually had fun and relaxed. But that was all behind her now. The tension in Udina's office wiped away any lingering effects from shore leave.

Udina was standing by his desk, flanked on either side by the other asari, salarian and turian councillors. Captain Anderson was standing further away. There was an understandable awkwardness whenever they were in a room together. Udina wasn't one to forgive past slights, and she didn't want to imagine what disapprobation Anderson received for his assault on Udina. Anderson refused to talk about it and would only say it was something done for the greater good… which felt incredibly satisfying.

"Welcome Commander." Udina said evenly. "I trust shore leave was to your liking?"

"Yes, very much so, sir." She answered robotically.

"We are impressed with how you handled the recent crisis." Asari Councillor Tevos began. "Your actions were invaluable in saving our lives, the lives of those on the station and countless others, perhaps the entire galaxy. You have our gratitude."

Kara's chin rose a few inches, it was satisfying to hear such words from the Council that had so doubted and dismissed her just a few short weeks before.

"We have begun analyzing pieces of the Reaper Sovereign." The salarian councillor Valern began. "We have found little, other than it is incredibly advanced and also incredibly ancient. We were able to defeat it only due to a combination of the ship begin distracted and the barrage of a small fleet. If this Sovereign is merely a vanguard of a much larger force, we are at great risk. There may be hundreds, perhaps thousands of ships like this one, perhaps even greater in size and power, lurking in the unknown abysses of space."

"This is why," The turian councillor Tacitus intoned, "We do not believe the Reapers' plans will stop at this. Perhaps there are other Reapers like Sovereign loose in the galaxy, perhaps Sovereign had other plans to help his brethren invade our galaxy."

"We want you to continue to lead the team you have assembled," Udina spoke now, pride in his voice, as if he had something to do with their modest successes. "Continue to research Prothean ruins for clues, investigate rumours, anything to learn more about these Reapers and plans and stop them."

"We have granted privileged access to your colleague Liara T'soni." Tevos began. "She has been granted full access to every council race's database on the protheans. Though young, her expertise and knowledge will prove useful on this endeavour. I believe she may have already found a possible lead."

This was good news. She was worried that the Council was going to shove this under the rug and pretend nothing had happened. She was happier that they were keeping the old team together, Wrex exempted. They'd all grown together, Ashley had grown more than many.

"As you are leading a multi-species team, it is only appropriate you have a salarian onboard." Valern said. "You are to recruit Dr. Mordin Solus. He is currently stationed on Omega where he runs a clinic. He is expecting you. You should rendezvous with him immediately."

"Good luck, Commander." Tevos said. "We will support and guide you as we can." The alien ambassadors now filed out. Udina nodded to Anderson.

"There is also a personnel matter." Anderson said. "Lt. Presley has been reassigned. You have a new XO. Lt. Samantha Traynor."

"Why?" Shepard asked.

"Presley's being promoted and given command of his own ship."

 _Good for him._ Losing someone to promotion was bittersweet. You were happy they were promoted, no doubt you had something to do with it, yet there was the bitterness of losing a trusted colleague. Now, she would have to get accustomed to a new XO.

"One last thing Shepard." Udina said. "I've been hard on you. But it's not because I'm a sadist. It's because I want what's best for humanity. You're our best chance at improving humanity's place in the galaxy. Other species have been around a lot longer than we have. Our rapid ascent arouses no small envy and enmity in other races. This is our chance to prove we belong. I was very skeptical of you at first. I'm less skeptical now. Good luck, Shepard."

They shook hands and she walked out of Udina's office with Anderson at her side.

"What was that?" Shepard asked, not entirely sure what had just happened.

"That," Anderson said, "Is the closest you'll see Udina get to an apology."

"So, who's this Traynor?" She asked.

"She's been in the navy 8 years. Graduated Suma Cum Laude from Sandhurst. Glowing performance reports. Bright career prospects. A lot of people say she's eccentric."

"Eccentric? How?" She said.

"I 'll let you find that out." Anderson said with an understated grin.

"Okay. I'll meet you in the docking bay, sir." Shepard said. "I need to visit my favourite store before we leave."

She went over to the Markets Ward. There she found Galactic Antiques. What interested her was only a couple of hundred years old, nothing compared to other antiquities. It was a Gibson Les Paul guitar, cherry-red finish, 1958 production complete with a certificate of authenticity. The guitar was cased in a forcefield, anything passing through it would trigger an alarm. The fretboard was littered with scratches and dents. Despite the obvious age, it still smelled...alive. She desperately wanted this one. The problem was the selling price was five times her yearly salary. She looked upon it one last time and made her way towards the elevator.

Shepard walked down the hallway from the markets to the elevator. She disliked the elevators. They took forever and the annoying muzak always seemed to cut out at odd times. The hallway was empty, she was walking robotically towards the elevator, her mind focused on the job ahead. Thus, she didn't notice a figure materialize out of thin air suddenly beside her.

"Commander Shepard? Might I have a word?" The figure said.

Kara bounced immediately in the opposite direction. Instinctively she reached for her sidearm.

"My apologies if I alarmed you. I wanted to speak alone." The drell stood straight and conspicuously placed his hands in front of him, palms outstretched, telling her he wasn't a threat. At least not yet.

"You could've booked an appointment through the embassy." Kara said evenly.

"I think you'd agree this type of discussion should remain unofficial." The drell replied. He continued to stand, immobile as a statue, only his mouth moved. Any person standing still would still move somewhat, not this drell. He wouldn't be out of place in a uniform on a parade square.

Shepard relaxed her stance. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I come on behalf of someone who'd like to offer your assistance in your mission." He said.

"Who says I'm on a mission?" Shepard replied.

"Let's not play games. The Council was almost killed, the Citadel taken over by an ancient alien being intent on the genocide of every sentient species in the galaxy. Your mission is just beginning."

"Okay." Shepard said. "Who's your boss?"

"The Shadow Broker." The drell replied as if there were nothing extraordinary about such a claim. "He offers you information to help you in your mission to defeat the Reapers."

No one in the galaxy had as vast an information network as the Shadow Broker. If there was one thing she needed, it was information. But what cost did this information have? It would be a minor compromise that lead inevitably to greater compromises until no shred of integrity or honour were left. She knew firsthand that great falls begin with a single step.

"And?" Shepard asked, hoping for any tiny morsel to nibble on.

"This information would take too much time to assemble otherwise. Your resources are small and your time is limited. Only the Shadow Broker could parcel this information and coalesce it into something tangible and usable. And this he has done."

"What will this cost me? Money?" She asked, dreading the answer.

"He has no need of money. Only a small favour, to be called in a later date, when it is convenient for you." Favours to people like the Shadow Broker were never convenient. Even if the first favour was nothing onerous, it only guaranteed a continued flow of more 'favours', each one more dangerous and distasteful than the last.

"No deal." Shepard said, staring hard at the drell.

"Why not?" The drell asked.

"Because favours to the Broker always cost more than they're worth."

"You should consider this carefully, Shepard." The drell said. "The Broker rarely offers such generous terms. The Broker understood what is at stake long before the doubters in the Council did and is willing to help, at a bargain price. The favour would be nothing too-"

"Not interested." Shepard interrupted.

"Very well." The drell said. He reached into his vest pocket and produced a small round device, only a few inches in diameter. "The Broker's offer remains open. Should you reconsider, he will provide you the information you need, but the price will be higher. Use this device to contact me." Kara wasn't sure why, but she took the device from the drell.

"Think carefully Shepard," the drell said, his tone changed somewhat, as if he were no longer speaking on behalf of his employer, but himself. "Your refusal is a principled one, but ask yourself what would avail your principles if the Reapers came through and succeeded in their plans. What if you had a chance to stop them but refused out of some obscure point of principle? What kind of principles would endorse the elimination of life itself?"

Kara said nothing, floored by what the drell had said. He walked away with uncanny grace.

"Wait." Kara said, looking at the communication device. "What's your name? In case I..." She left the end of the sentence hang unspoken. As if voicing the thought would make it more likely she would surrender to temptation.

"I am Thane Krios. Pleased to meet you, Commander." The drell said. He turned away and then stopped in his tracks. He faced Shepard one last time. "Good luck." He disappeared into thin air.

The infamous shadow broker wanted to help her. This must mean the situation was more urgent than the Council realized. She had to act fast. But how? All she had was a trail of breadcrumbs. But she couldn't accept the broker's offer. If she did, she would become nothing but a pawn in the broker's game. A game she didn't want to play and had no chance of winning.

* * *

The crew was assembled before the ship in formation, human and alien standing together. Anderson was standing before them in mid-speech. Shepard spotted her new Executive Officer. Lt. Traynor,'s eyes darted towards her. Towards her body, actually. They made eye contact and Traynor looked away rapidly, like a mouse scurrying away from light. _I know what that look means._ She was quite beautiful, but she couldn't be thinking about that.

"Now, before you set off there is one final matter to attend to." Anderson said. Shepard fought the urge to smile.

"Gunnery Sergeant Williams!" Anderson barked, reminding all he could still command a parade square despite his age.

"Sir!" Williams snapped to attention.

"Front and centre." Anderson said. Williams fell out of formation and smartly marched towards them. She cast a brief glance at Shepard before her eyes darted straight ahead. She marched towards Anderson and stopped a few feet in front of him, her feet snapping sharply on the floor. They saluted another.

"Due to her actions in the battle of the Citadel and in the recent mission against Saren and Sovereign, and in no small part due to the glowing recommendation by her commanding officer. Sergeant Williams, you are hereby given a battlefield commission to the rank of 2nd Lieutenant, with all pay and benefits, provided you graduate the Alliance Officer Training Program at a later date."

Shepard watched with quiet pride as Anderson handed her the lieutenant's stripes she earned. The crew began clapping. Ash's face showed surprised and quickly replaced with pride and joy. Williams saluted smartly, Anderson and Shepard saluted back. Shepard gave her new lieutenant a sly wink. Ash mouthed the words 'thank you'. Her friend had earned it, broken the so-called Williams curse. Shepard addressed the crew as Williams fell back into formation and the clapping subsided.

"I hope you all enjoyed your leave, but now it's back to business. Saren couldn't have been brought down without you. Together, you showed what humanity has to offer. You showed what happens when other species cooperate with another and overcome their prejudices. It wasn't that long ago that the thought of turians working alongside humans or krogans was unheard of. When we stop fighting yesterday's wars and look to the future, there's nothing that can stop us. What we did was only just the beginning, the road ahead will be more challenging, but I have no doubt that you will do your best and do us all proud. Dismissed!"

The crew snapped to attention and then filed out, filing into the Normandy. Shepard and Anderson stood by, watching the crew board the frigate.

"I had an interesting visitor." Shepard said. "The Shadow Broker wants to help."

"The Shadow Broker." Anderson said pensively. "I assume you refused."

Shepard nodded. "Good." Anderson answered.

"I don't know." Shepard said quietly. "I have this nagging feeling I'm going to regret turning him down."

"That's exactly what he wants." Anderson said. "People like that will promise you gold, but give you only breadcrumbs and expect you to be grateful for it."

Shepard nodded. They turned to another as the last crewmember boarded and saluted another.

"Good luck, Shepard." Anderson. "I'll do whatever I can to help."

Shepard said. "I won't let you down."

They shook hands and parted ways. Shepard boarded the Normandy. The airlock closed behind her with a loud hiss. The crew were mostly at her stations. One of them who wasn't was newly minted 2nd Lt. Ashley Williams. She was waiting for Shepard just outside the airlock doors. Shepard barely had time to register this when Ash hugged her tightly. Shepard stood stiffly at first, they were on duty now. This wasn't...professional.

"Thank you." Ash whispered.

"I didn't do anything except push paperwork." Shepard replied modestly. "You did all the heavy lifting on this one."

Ash backed away, she was smiling but an awkward looked passed between them before she turned away. Shepard walked towards the podium above the star map. Lt. Traynor was standing by the workstation on the left. Traynor glanced nervously in her direction then quickly looked away. _We'll have to work on that._

She caught Liara's eye. "So, Liara." Shepard began. "They told me you had an idea of where to start looking?"

Liara nodded. "Yes, Shepard. We should start with your Martian archives. A researcher there thinks he may have found something."

"Okay, but I was expecting something a bit more dramatic." Shepard said.

"We've been studying protheans for hundreds of years, we can't expect to dig up something new in a few days." Liara answered. _Then what's the point of this mission?_

"What about what we do know?" Shepard said. "Have we re-looked at old data, found something new or found a fresh perspective?"

Liara shifted on her feet. "The asari government has put a small team together to go through the old archives. Hopefully they'll find something. The salarians and turians are doing the same. I am in contact with them and we will go through the data."

"The protheans were isolated once the Reapers arrived. If one team managed to get aboard the Citadel, maybe one team managed to design some kind of super weapon or find a way of stopping the Reapers. That information might be stored away somewhere." Shepard said.

"I don't think it's very likely the information would have survived, even if it existed in the first place." Liara said.

"What we found at Illos wasn't very likely." Shepard said. Liara nodded.

"Commander," Traynor interjected suddenly. Shepard and Liara turned towards her. Traynor averted her eyes, looking between them rather than at any of them. She almost seemed to be blushing.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Shepard said patiently.

"Have you considered interacting with more Prothean beacons? No one has been able to interact with them."

"That's not a bad idea, Traynor." Shepard said. "I was hoping to avoid those. They give me one hell of a headache."

"Perhaps it was just a side effect of never being exposed to prothean technology." Liara said. "Now you subconsciously understand prothean and have spoken with one of their VIs. It might not be as arduous as before."

Shepard nodded. "Good thinking, Traynor." She flashed her new lieutenant a warm smile. "Plot the locations of these beacons into the star map. We'll make a point of visiting there. But let's go to Mars first."

* * *

After getting underway, she gave command to Traynor and set off to make her rounds. She went down to the cargobay first. The Mako was still there, judging by all the dents in the hull, the same one as before. Garrus was working on his sniper rifle on the weapon bench. She saw a new assault rifle in a carrying case on the ground. She picked up the rifle. It was big yet light and sleek looking.

"That's the Revenant." Garrus said. "Assault rifle. Shoots out ammo quicker than anything I've ever seen. I wouldn't try it, Shepard." Garrus said. "The recoil's too much for you puny humans to handle. And it'll make you even less accurate than you already are."

"Who needs accuracy when can you fire a thousand rounds per second?" Shepard replied, loving the feel of this gun.

"Spoken like a true marksman." Garrus replied. Shepard laughed. It was good to have Garrus back again. Garrus clicked the safety on his rifle and put it down. "I was just giving this old girl some calibrations. She's been very lonely."

"Just like old times?" She asked.

"Just like old times." Garrus answered. "It's good to get back to work. I was getting antsy on shoreleave. What about you?"

"I actually managed to enjoy shoreleave." Shepard replied. "Hanging out with Ash was great. We both had fun." A smile appeared on her face that was reluctant to leave.

Garrus nodded. "You both look more relaxed."

"Yeah, we really… became closer, met her family… I guess we're best friends now." She said. She turned to look away from her turian friend. She spoke, now more reflective. "I never had anyone I could be open with."

"Had a lot to get off your chest?" Garrus asked.

She nodded and for a while was silent. "It both did us some good."

"Glad to hear it." Garrus said.

* * *

She went to engineering next. Tali had her own workstation now. They'd made some small modifications to drive core. They were minor tweaks, nothing significant but they needed to squeeze everything out of this ship if they were to be successful.

"How did you find Earth?" Shepard asked Tali.

"It was… strange. I couldn't stay long. Living your entire life on the flotilla, being on planet with its own gravity is strange and quiet. You have a nice planet. I hope to see mine, some day." Tali said.

"I think you will." Shepard answered, not sure what made her say that.

Tali nodded briefly.

"I was in touch with the flotilla. The admiralty was impressed with everything and asked me to stay with you."

"The admiralty?" Shepard said.

"Yes." Tali bowed her head shyly. "My ship's captain forwarded my report straight to the admiralty. I wasn't expecting to hear directly from them. My father's bragging about it to entire fleet."

"Sounds like you're impressing some important people." Shepard said.

"It's nice but, I just want to help our people." Tali said modestly.

"Did they believe you about the Reapers?" Shepard asked.

"Yes and no." Tali answered. "They believe that Sovereign was a sentient ship of some kind, but they do not believe that the Reapers are going to invade and wipe out all life in the galaxy. But they are worried that there might be more of these Reapers and they would align with the geth. I gave them all the data we found on Sovereign. Maybe they'll make something of it."

"I hope so." Shepard said. "We're going to need all the help we can get."

"One thing has me worried." Tali said. "I'm worried this is going to make us try to retake Rannoch."

"Why does that have you worried?" Shepard asked.

"Because we're not ready. And what if we try this when the Reapers invade? It will not be good for us." Tali answered.

She was sympathetic to the quarians. Who wouldn't be to a people who had lost their homeland? But the sympathy was cloaked in ambiguity. Shepard nodded slowly. "I know where your people are coming from, but they have to start listening to reason."

"That's easy for you to say!" Tali said sharply. "We lost our homeworld. We're pariahs. And you want us to be reasonable?" Tali looked away, ashamed she had lashed out at her friend and commander. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

"It's ok." She answered, not offended by Tali's brief outburst. She left the engineering deck and continued her rounds.

* * *

Kara passed by her quarters and deposited her gear. Her guitar was still in her quarters. The antique Fender Stratocaster hung proudly on the wall. It sounded warm and resonant, the many dents, nicks and bruises adding character to the timeless piece.

She'd installed software that allowed her to plug in the guitar and have an unlimited effects suite. Every effect from delay to reverb to sustain in every imaginable combination, sound and tonality. She could also play along with a huge musical library. She could play along with anything from Mozart to Charlie Parker to Michael Jackson. It was a musicians' dream. A hundred years ago, the memory required would've taken up enough space to fill a cargo container. Now, it was all contained in a small OSD.

She'd enjoyed playing for Ashley. More than enjoyed it actually. _Thrilled._ When she opened her eyes Ashley's eyes were locked onto her. It was like she was being shocked with a thousand volts. It aroused all sorts of wonderful and yet terrifying feelings and emotions. _She's my friend and subordinate. I can't feel this way about her._

Kara went to bed. She shut the lights and closed her eyes, wrapping the sheets around her. She drifted off to sleep. A rapid montage of images passed by her eyes. Some she was familiar with, the images from the first prothean beacon and the cypher she'd obtained from Shiala. But there were new images. Something that looked like a giant cocoon in space. A chamber at the nexus of dozens of twirling tunnels. Someone, something, standing before a Reaper, arm outstretched and touching one of its monstrous tentacles. But most of the images passed too quickly for her mind to register them.

And then the blur of images was gone. She awoke in a cold sweat, her bed sheets were thoroughly drenched, like they'd been dunked in water. Her body was trembling, her teeth chattering, she felt faint and lightheaded. She tried to crawl out of the bed, but the wet sheets stuck to her and she slowly fell out of the bed, entangled in her sheets like she was clumsily emerging from a wet cocoon. She kicked and clawed the wet sheets away. She stumbled over to her bathroom, and drank some water from the sink. She then looked herself her in the mirror, her eyes were bloodshot and skin pale. She hadn't been asleep even an hour but she looked like she'd been through. She knew she just wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

She took Liara and Traynor with her to the Martian archives. They wore formal uniforms. She didn't feel too tired. Being in the military you are quickly accustomed to going without sleep. But she was no longer some 19 year old green horn. She'd taken some extra coffee and that seemed to be doing the trick, although she forced herself to ignore the foul taste of rations coffee. The nature of the visions troubled her. She hadn't touched anything prothean. What had prompted this vision? And why during her sleep? Maybe her subconscious was absorbing more of the old prothean data lurking in her mind?

They were walking from the docking bay, making their way towards the archival room. There was no one to greet them. They followed signs, leading them to another elevator. "So, what's this lead you have?" Kara asked Liara.

"It may be some kind of a weapon the protheans designed to fight the Reapers." Liara answered.

"Sounds too good to be true." Shepard said.

"Yes, but we can't afford to overlook anything." Liara said. "We might succeed where they failed. We have the advantage of not facing an invasion."

"But they were more advanced than we are." Traynor said.

"Maybe." Kara said. "It's hard to know. A lot of what we assumed about the Protheans could turn out to be wrong."

There was no more conversation until the elevator doors opened. They found themselves in the middle of the archival room. The room was spherical, several hundred feet in circumference. There were rows of computer consoles skirting out in straight lines, radiating from the elevator. The walls were all windowed, plenty of sunshine was penetrating through right now. It almost felt like they were in a greenhouse. There were a dozen people working on various workstations. A middle aged man saw them and walked towards them. He was thin and wiry, wearing even thinner glasses.

"Welcome. Are you Commander Shepard?" He said, his voice booming in contrast to his physical stature.

"Yes. Are you Dr. Chandra?" Kara asked.

"Yes. Pleased to meet you." The doctor shook hands with each of them. His eyes rested longer on Liara than anyone else.

"Are you Dr. T'Soni?" He asked eagerly. Liara answered in the affirmative.

"Oh! I'm so happy to meet you!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together, his white smile shining even brighter than the sun. "I'm a huge fan of your work. I've read every single one of your papers! Tell me, what do you think about Dr. Breen's theory of prothean DNA structure..." The Doctor gently yet firmly grabbed Liara's arm and led her towards his work console. Traynor and Kara looked at another. Kara grinned and arched an eyebrow. Traynor nodded, for once holding her gaze. For a few seconds anyway. The two ladies made their way towards the doctor's workstation. Kara felt poorly about interrupting them, given how passionately these two were conversing.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Doctor. But I heard you found something useful?" She said.

"Yes, forgive me. It's just so rare I get to speak with such a distinguished prothean expert." Dr. Chandra said. Liara looked to be blushing, her cheeks flashing a deeper shade of blue than normal.

"I thought you were given extra staff?" Kara asked. She didn't see a lot of people working and most of the workstations were empty, gathering dust.

Dr. Chandra nodded. "Until a few days ago, there was only four of us. One month ago, only three. Quite an improvement, I say." There was no trace of irony in his tone.

"This is what we've found." He pressed a few buttons on his terminal. A display opened up and was quickly populate by schematics of some kind. It showed a large device that had a long cylindrical fuselage, with a large circular sections at each end. The middle of this structure a relatively small pointed cylinder protruded like a spear from a shield wall. This section looked like it was a focusing beam of some kind. The dimensions were impressive, 6 kilometers long, 3 in width, the circular sections were both 2 km in diameter.

"What is it?" Kara asked.

"We believe it to be some kind of super weapon." Dr. Chandra said somberly. "A massive reactor is housed in the rear of the device. We believe it channels the power of a mass relay through a narrow focus beam that transforms it into a weapon of incredible kinetic power. No one has ever been able to channel this power into a weapon before. I'm not sure we should."

"If it's so advanced, can we build it?" Traynor asked.

"Despite the revolutionary design, it's alarmingly simple." Dr. Chandra answered. "I fear this is another case of our technology advancing before our ethics."

"I understand how you feel, doctor." Shepard began. "But this may be needed to defend us against a great threat."

"What kind of threat?" He asked, looking at her keenly.

"I'm sorry, but it's classified. I can tell you it's not intended to be used against anyone."

The doctor sighed, his eyes downcast for a moment. She wished she could tell him about the Reapers, but she couldn't. His eyes rode back up to her, and she saw only skepticism.

"How can you contemplate building something like this without using it? Even if you do not intend to, someone else will. Or, the threat of using it, which amounts to the same thing. An accidental usage would be just as tragic as a deliberate one. I don't want to become another Oppenheimer."

"Doctor, if I showed you what we are up against, it might change your mind, if you allow me." Liara said.

Chandra eyed Liara cautiously. "I will only show you my memories."

He nodded meekly. Liara slowly approached him and placed her hands on his shoulder. She heard Liara mouth 'embrace eternity'. Chandra's body tensed and trembled slightly. His face was taught, his eyes clenched tightly shut. It looked like someone undergoing a minor epileptic fit. _Is that what I looked like?_ What did the others think when they saw her undergo this process? After a few seconds, Liara released the doctor. The doctor stumbled back a few steps, but recovered, using his desk to steady himself. His face was ashen, and a look of cold dread upon it.

"I see." He said simply.

"Did the Protheans ever build it?" Traynor asked, breaking the silence. The doctor paused before answering, still getting his bearings.

"Unknown. This design matches no known prothean artifacts or relics. It was probably just in the design stages before their extinction." He said.

"Where did you find these schematics?" She asked.

"It was found, or re-found, if you will, in databank Bravo 35, sub cluster 3." He answered.

"If it was in one of the first discovered data troves, why hasn't it been uncovered until now?" Kara asked.

"It's probable the original survey team missed it." He explained. "There are petabytes of data in just a single sub cluster. Data gets missed fairly often, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. It was found by one of our newer employees. If it wasn't for the extra labour, it probably would've been forgotten forever."

Something about it seemed farfetched. Maybe even suspiciously convenient, but they needed to invest in every possibility if they had a chance of holding off the Reapers.

"I have copied this schematic onto an OSD." Dr. Chandra removed an OSD disc from his pocket and gave it to Shepard. She examined the device. To think this small, otherwise insignificant disc contained what they were hoping for. And it could've been lost forever to their doom all due to someone being inattentive for just a few moments.

"Well done, doctor. Congratulate your team on my behalf." Kara said. She turned to leave. As she turned, she spotted a worker sitting at a workstation opposite them. He was sitting at an angle to them, staring at his console straight ahead, but he seemed to be eyeing her out of the corner of his eye. Then looked away as soon as she looked in his direction. As quickly as she remarked it, it was forgotten. He probably just recognized her from the news, that's all. She was getting more of these double-takes from strangers where she went. She wasn't used to it.

"Dr. T'soni?" The doctor intercepted them. Well, he intercepted Liara. "Might I have your contact information? I would love to continue to correspond with you while you are away on your mission."

"Yes, of course." Liara said and innocently gave him her contact information. The Doctor beamed. Liara smiled back at him. Unable to hide his excitement, Kara thought he was about to start bouncing off the walls. They left the hall and re-entered the elevator.

"I think you've made a new friend." Kara said with a warm smile as the doors closed.

"Yes. So I seem to." Liara replied evenly.

"Sure you don't want to skip pleasantries and book a hotel room?" She teased.

"Why? What would we do in a hotel room?" Liara asked innocently.

Kara and Traynor exchanged a glance and giggled. Liara looked at them, puzzled.

"Humans, you're so very strange sometimes." She said.

* * *

Kara ordered Joker to set for Omega and she went towards the briefing room. She wrote a brief report and then submitted it along with the data from Dr. Chandra's OSD to the Council. Her report included her personal recommendation that they should commence construction immediately. She grabbed a coffee and assembled Ashley, Garrus, Traynor, Tali and Liara for a briefing. Bad tasting coffee was better than no coffee.

Ash had wasted no time sewing her lieutenant's insignia onto her uniform. They smiled at another, Kara felt the strangest of feelings in her chest. She caught herself and began her briefing. She went over what they'd found in the Martian Archive.

"So, what do you think?" She asked her team.

"Looks kinda weird for a super weapon, but if it works, I'll take it." Ashley said.

"Better something ugly that works than something pretty that doesn't." Garrus added.

"That something your mother tell you?" Ash teased.

"All the time." Garrus answered, playing along.

"Are we sure it's a good idea to build this thing? We don't know what it does, really. How much it'll cost, how much time it'll take." Traynor said.

"The Reapers are coming." Kara said firmly. "You don't organize cycles of galactic extinction without having a few tricks up your sleeve. All we and some long-dead protheans have done is buy some time. We have to make us of it. Otherwise, there's no point."

"What are we going to call this device?" Tali asked.

Kara shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe the Council will take a vote on the extranet?"

"How about: The Crucible?" Traynor advanced, enthusiastically holding her arms in the air like she was holding a frame and inscribing this name in the stars.

"Seems kinda dorky." Ash said. "No offense."

Traynor looked a little bummed.

"Thanks for the suggestion, Traynor." She said and gave the lieutenant a friendly smile. "How about Willy McWeapon Face?" She suggested. Several pairs of rolled eyes answered her.

"The Big Space Boomstick." Was Ashley's suggestion.

"The mighty, mighty Bosh'tet!" Tali said.

"Okay, that's enough." Kara said with understated firmness.

"So, we're going to Omega next?" Garrus asked.

Kara nodded. "We have a salarian team member to pick up. They tell me he's a doctor."

"Why do we need a salarian doctor? Chakwas is fine." Ash asked.

"It's so the salarians can feel represented. We got human, turian, quarian and asari on this crew, we had a krogan last time, but no salarian." Kara answered.

"There's probably more to this doctor than meets the eye." Traynor said.

"I think that's a given." Kara said.

"We should be in our combat gear when we go pick him up." Ash said.

Garrus nodded. "Omega can get very nasty in a hurry."

"You will have to deal with Aria T'loak, who runs Omega." Liara said. "We should do our best not to step on any toes."

"I'll take Garrus and Ash with me when we get there. I don't want anyone else to leave the ship unless I give the all clear." Kara ordered.

"Any questions?" There were none.

"Right. Dismissed."

She looked at dissatisfaction with her half-filled coffee mug.

"Commander?" Traynor approached her hesitantly.

"Yes?" Kara said, sipping her coffee, trying, and failing, to ignore the foul flavour.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, if you can get us supplied with Duncan Hills coffee without murdering our budget that would be great." She said.

"Consider it done, Commander." Traynor said with a shy but confident smile.

* * *

Kara passed the time by reviewing the data file she'd been given on Mordin Solus. It was remarkably sparse. His scientific aptitudes were in genetics and general medicine. He didn't seem to have any strong ties to the salarian government. There was definitely something more to him.

She plugged in her guitar. Playing guitar helped her gather her thoughts. She thought about the mission. It was more ambiguous this time. Before they had a clear objective: stop Saren. As the mission wore on, the means to achieve it became much more complicated, but the final objective remained the same.

But now? Their objective was to stop the Reapers. She remembered Vigil's words "Your hope lies in defeating them, not understanding them." And could not help but disagree. How could they stop a foe they did not understand? They knew nothing of the Reapers' true motivations, their strategies, strengths, weaknesses or even numbers.

Their only hope was in information, but they were grasping at straws. Digging through old data archives, trotting through ruins and interacting with beacons didn't seem like a sure path to victory. But she could think of no other way to proceed and neither could anyone else. And that worried her. She trusted those in command to have a grasp of the bigger picture. But in this they were all equally blind. Was this how the Protheans felt? In a race against time they had no chance at winning? Feeling hope slowly slip through their fingers, squeezing tighter, only to grasp extinction in the end.

Her thoughts suddenly went to Ashley. She wasn't sure why. _Focus, Kara! Focus!_ It wasn't the first time she'd served with an attractive woman, but it was the first time she'd ever felt ...whatever she was feeling. About anyone. But she didn't exactly know _what_ she was feeling. Whatever it was, it was both thrilling and terrifying. How was she going to deal with this? It was obvious Ashley wasn't interested in her. It wasn't the first time she'd nursed an unrequited crush on someone, she'd always moved on. So why was this, whatever _this_ was, so different?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It felt good to put her combat armour back on. The small tears and loose threads adding to the charm and comfort, rather than detracting from it. The only thing she didn't care for was the smell, armour didn't breathe well and all the cleaning products in the galaxy couldn't quite kill the uniquely pungent aroma that body armour wore. She strapped the Revenant rifle onto her backpack along with her trusty Carnifex sidearm. She ran a diagnostic on her combat Omni-Tool. She then grabbed her helmet, looking herself over in the mirror one last time before she left her quarters.

They docked and she led them out the airlock, both of them flanking her. They kept their weapons holstered, though they were alert for any possible threat. They turned a corner and were greeted by three batarian blue suns mercenaries, they held their rifles in their hands, but pointing at the ground.

"Aria wants to see you, Shepard." The batarian on the left said.

"Fine." She said. "Lead the way."

The first batarian turned and started walking. The other two stood there, waiting for them. Shepard followed the first batarian, the other two mercenaries fell in behind them.

"Typical Omega hospitality?" Kara asked Garrus.

"Actually, this is quite welcoming by Omega standards. Usually they shoot first, space your remains and then ask you to follow them. We should feel special."

"Yeah, can't help but feel I'm in a five star resort." Ash said.

"Quit your bellyaching!" One of the guards behind them barked. "Thought you Alliance types were supposed to be tough."

"Like to see how tough you'd be with my boomstick up your ass!" Ash said, turning behind her to stare at the batarian. He glared back at her with his four black, lidless eyes.

"All of you, shut up." The lead batarian ordered. The rest of their journey was made in tense silence. They followed down grimy and dirty corridors contrasted by bright lights. They passed a docking area which had a mad batarian preacher. He was preaching about the evils of humanity and the impending galactic apocalypse, much to the amusement of his human audience. The others ignored him.

They found themselves on a concourse. Kara looked down. Hundreds of feet below them lied the slums. What she could see was poorly lit, people lying in the streets, garbage everywhere, all the buildings had holes in them and stained with some black substance. It reminded her of her youth. She shuddered and looked away.

They were led to the Afterlife night club. An elcor bouncer let them in, refusing entry to some annoying human who insisted he had an invitation from Aria. The music pulsed louder and louder as they neared the club, it felt like the pulsating rhythm went straight into her mind. She started to get a headache and it was like each beat was a pulse that increased the pain.

They were led up some stairs, the noise of the club mercifully decreasing until it was just a minor, vibrating pulse. The top of the stairs led to an antechamber which then to a large circular room. There was a large window which gave a full view of the dancing floor below them. At the centre, overlooking the window was raised dias upon which a luxurious sofa lay. Sitting there was an asari Kara took to be Aria, on either side of her were a few guards. Aria was looking down at them with an expectant air.

"Commander Shepard?" She said, despite the dozen or so meters that separated them, her voice was loud and clear. "I thought you'd be taller. Luckily, you're even prettier in person."

"I'm not one of your dancers." She said firmly, not feeling in the least bit flattered.

"A bit of a girl scout. Too bad." She said with exaggerated disappointment. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here on a mission." Kara answered plainly.

"No shit. I thought you were on a holiday." Aria answered, unamused. "What's your mission?"

"Getting some pizza, saving the galaxy, the usual stuff." Kara answered.

Aria stood now, looking crossly down upon them. "There's one rule on Omega: Don't fuck with Aria." Having a throne like this was a clear and obvious intimidation tactic, making her appear taller than she was. Kara felt a shiver up her spine. Aria had lived a long life filled with bloodshed. This wasn't mere posturing.

"There's someone here I need to recruit for my team. Dr. Mordin Solus." She answered evenly.

"Ahh, that's better. You hear that?" She turned to one of her guards. "That's information. I like information. Especially when it comes with less attitude." She faced them again.

"Dr. Solus is interesting. He's equally likely to kill you or heal you. I'll let you have the doctor. Normally, I'd shake you down, but he's giving me a headache." Aria said.

"What do you mean?" Kara asked.

Aria said. "There's a plague in the slums. Dr. Solus is treating the victims."

"What kind of plague?" Ashley asked.

Aria shrugged with remarkable indifference.

"Why is treating them causing problems?" Kara asked.

"Because those who go for treatment leave their apartments. Abandoned apartments attract looters and mercs. Mordin has a habit of placing deadly traps in these apartments to keep those people out." Aria said.

"Why haven't you just taken him out?" Kara said.

"He has his uses." Aria said. "Unless there's anything else, you can go get your doctor. I do hope you stay to shop, we have lots of grey and black market gear you can't get in Citadel space."

Kara nodded and they left her chamber. Their escort stayed behind. Kara opened her Omni-Tool and pulled up a map of Omega. Mordin's location had already been updated, his clinic was deep in Omega's slums. She patched a call through to the clinic. A turian male answered the call, wearing an oxygen mask.

"Dr. Solus' clinic." He answered flatly.

"I need to speak to Dr. Solus." Kara said. "I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance. Dr. Solus is supposed to be joining me on my mission."

"Ah, yes, the doctor has been expecting you. Do you require directions?"

Kara arched an eyebrow and looked at her squad mates.

"Why can't he just come and meet us?" She asked, letting a hint of impatience show.

"He's still treating patients. A patient." The clerk answered.

"What about the plague?" She asked.

"If you are wearing sealed suits you don't need to worry. Just be sure to decontaminate yourself before you board your ship. The doctor can explain."

They put their helmets on. They checked themselves over, their gauntlets, greaves, boots and chest plates, ensuring they were fully sealed. They didn't want to risk decontamination, she also contacted Dr. Chakwas to ensure decontamination procedures were ready.

They made their way towards the slums. The same dirt and grime that marked other aspects of the station continued, only worse as they descended, covering the walls, ceilings and floors in a thick, glossy shine. There was more trash left on the ground, more flickering lights and rodents scurrying about. They passed beggars and the destitute. In an alley she saw a drug purchase being made. Everything from clothes to used drug paraphernalia littered the ground.

"Does this remind you of growing up?" Ashley asked her.

"Yeah." She answered wearily.

"You gonna be okay?" Ash asked her.

Shepard turned to look at her, she was surprised by the question. But she didn't feel indignation or offense at the question. But, something else.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She answered. "Thanks for asking." She added quietly. Ash gave her a quick nod.

They came to a fork in road. Ahead of them was a barred door, two turian blue suns standing guard, wearing their helmets, their rifles at the ready. Further down the hall though was a warehouse. The exterior of it was buzzing with activity, she saw a mix of Blue Suns and Red mercs milling about. They all had their weapons drawn. The krogans and vorchas looked like they were getting psyched for battle.

"Quarantine zone. No admittance." One of the door guards said.

"We're going in." Shepard said evenly. The guards looked at another and shrugged. The one on the left opened the door for them.

"Your funeral." He said indifferently.

"What's with the family reunion?" Ash asked, nodding to the gathering.

"It's just a special joint training op." The merc answered. Ash flashed Kara a concerned look. Kara nodded. The door closed behind them.

"I think they're planning to take out the good doctor." Garrus said.

"I'm thinking the same thing." Shepard said. "The sooner were get out of here, the better."

The hallway leading to the clinic was littered with debris of a different kind. The halls were stacked with coffins, neatly piled upon another, touching the ceiling, the hallway became claustrophobically narrow, making it impossible for two people to walk by side by side. The coffins were sealed and then excessively wrapped in tape which said "Biohazard. Do not open." They passed dozens of sealed coffins on the way to Mordin's clinic. Kara guessed there were close to a hundred.

"Jesus Christ." Ash swore.

The entrance was locked. Kara rang the doorbell. "Who is it?" Kara recognized the voice as the same clerk she'd spoken to earlier.

"It's Commander Shepard." She answered.

There was a brief pause before the doors opened. They filed in and the doors closed behind them. The clerk was at a reception desk, a pistol not far from his keypad. The waiting area was otherwise empty. There was a rancid smell, like rotting flesh. The clerk pointed them to where they needed to go.

They passed other examination rooms. Looking inside they saw bodies strapped to examination tables. There was a white sheet covering the bodies, leaving what was underneath unknown. It was deathly quiet. She couldn't even make out the hum of the oxygen recyclers, because they'd been turned off as part of the quarantine. The smell got worse.

They went into room and saw a salrian, standing over a patient strapped into a gurney. The doctor was wearing standard salarian combat armour. He was furiously typing into his Omni-Tool. Kara then saw with horror that the patient's skin was blackened and grey, glowing with an eerie blue hue. There were lines of synthetic flesh reaching up into its face. It's head was deformed and the scalp was littered with distorted ridges.

"A husk?" Garrus exclaimed.

"Holy shit!" Ash said, gripping her sidearm momentarily. "An asari husk."

Dr. Solus looked up and just as quickly looked back down at his Omni-Tool.

"Commander Shepard. Pleased to meet you. Busy. Concluding experiments. Be with you in a moment." Mordin spoke in a rapid staccato.

Mordin read his Omni-Tool for several moments. In this room were dozens of other examination tables, each had a husk strapped into them. Each husk had a hole in their heads, the tables dripping with biosynthetic blood. On the far wall several empty coffins were stacked. Kara slowly approached him, weary that any of these dead husks might be more alive than they appeared. Mordin put his Omni-Tool down and then pulled a pistol from his holster. He shot the asari-husk in the head. Blood started to drip on the floor and the smell became overpowering. "What the hell's going on?" Kara asked.

"Plague containment. Biomechanical virus. Extremely advanced. Gradually mutates hosts into husks. All patients treated. No new cases for 60 hours. Plague contained. Temporarily." He replied simply. He tenderly folded the patient's arms over his chest and then covered the body with a white shroud. He whispered something inaudible.

"Treated? You mean you killed them." Ash said.

"No other treatment possible. Impossible to reverse." He replied laconically.

"But you're a doctor. You're supposed to help people." Garrus said.

"Sometimes heal people. Sometimes kill people. Either way helps." He answered.

Kara interjected. "Tell me about this virus."

"First symptoms appeared 23 days ago. Patients exhibit fatigue, loss of appetite, lowered body temperature, weakened immune system, dehydration, diarrhea. After 4 days patients enter comatose state. 6 days external signs of husk metamorphosis appear. 10 days transformation complete. Patient awakes and is hostile." He said.

"What's the nature of this plague?" Kara asked, slowly habituating herself to how this salarian talked.

"Airborne. Biomechanical virus. Fascinating design. Extremely advanced. Have detailed analysis on OSD. Would like to continue research once on your ship." He said.

"Is it Reaper technology?" Garrus asked.

"Very likely. Standard decontamination countermeasures effective. Doesn't work as quickly as exposure to dragon teeth. But virulent nature allows it to spread quicker and undetected."

"Do you know how it came aboard?" Kara asked.

"Patient zero a stevedore. Too many unknown factors." He answered.

Kara nodded grimly. If further proof were needed that they'd only delayed the Reapers, here it was. And this was most likely only the tip of the iceberg. But just who had released this virus? And why Omega? Had other transit hubs been infected? They had to warn the Council. But how could they enforce a quarantine in the nexus of the terminus systems?

"Aria doesn't seem to know how grave this is." Kara said.

"Aria careless. Will ignore problem until it's too late." Mordin said.

"We should get going." Ash said. "It looked like the mercs were preparing an assault." .

Mordin nodded, he reached to a nearby table and procured a pistol. He "Anticipated this. No baggage. Ready to depart." He said.

"What about your clerk?" Kara asked.

"Have given Corlanus basic firearms training. Civilian. Not military. Will need to keep him covered." Mordin said.

"Right. Let's go." Kara ordered.

Corlanus was standing in the reception room. He was grabbing his pistol nervously, his right arm trembling. Kara walked up to him, seeing his condition.

"It's going to be okay." She said soothingly. "We're going to get you out of this in one piece."

He nodded, though his anxiety remained plain to see.

"What's the plan?" Garrus asked.

"Ash, I want you to override the locks on those doors." Kara said. "Once those doors open we toss out flashbangs and smoke grenades. I'll send out an attack drone. You and Garrus lay down some covering fire. We fall back, use cover, make our way towards our docking bay. I'll cover the rear. Mordin, you have combat experience?"

"Served in STG."

 _That's interesting._ "Know a Capt. Kirrahae?" Kara asked.

"Yes. Bit of a cloacae. Always liked big speeches. Hold. The. Line. Prefer to get the job done."

Kara chuckled. "Okay. Stick close to Corlanus."

"Understood, Commander."

They came to the doors. Ash ran a bypass. She activated her Omni-Tool's weapons suite and unholstered her rifle. Despite herself, she grinned holding this new powerful weapon in her hands, about to attain its baptismal of fire.

"Just, try to hit something that isn't a wall." Garrus said, looking at her rifle. "If you can get within 10 meters, I'll give you a medal."

"You're so generous." Kara said as Ashley's Omni-Tool beeped, indicating a successful bypass. All of them readied their flashbangs and smoke grenades. The doors opened with a grinding sound, Kara felt her teeth vibrating. The grenades were tossed out. They retreated a few steps and closed their eyes. The mercs cried out.

"Flashbangs!"

"Take cover!"

The concussion shook them, Kara was thrown against the coffins and then bounced right back. She steadied herself and activated her drone. It flew into the billowing smoke and began laying down fire.

"Suppressing fire!" Shepard yelled. Ash and Garrus both went ahead, each took a side and began laying down suppressing fire. With Garrus' eyepiece he was able to get a thermal reading on targets, making his fire more effective and deadly. Shepard tapped Mordin's arm. "Go!"

Mordin grabbed Corlanus' arm and led him out. Mordin fired a burst from his SMG, Corlanus ducking and keeping his head low. They hurriedly paced until they hit the opposite wall and retreated, Mordin continuing to lay down fire and shielding his assistant. Kara moved up. She tapped Ashley's shoulder. Without looking she joined the convoy. The smoke was beginning to clear, she could make out vague shapes in the mist. She launched another drone in their direction.

"Go!" She yelled to Garrus. Garrus filed back. She looked behind her. Ash was stationed by a bend in the hallway. Mordin and Corlanus had already gone around.

"You're clear, Commander!" She yelled. Kara backtracked, frequently peering behind her until she was free. The mercs started firing just as she turned around the corner, she felt bullets bouncing just behind her. She ran for a support beam and slammed her back into it, the bullets just whizzing by.

Kara saw Ash and Garrus by the bend in the wall, continuing to lay down suppressive fire. She nodded to Ashley. Ashley went around the bend out of sight. Kara turned and readied her rifle. A vorcha Blood Pack merc filed out of cover, advancing on them. Kara pointed her rifle and depressed the trigger. The rifle roared to life. Despite only holding down the trigger for fractions of a second, the recoil shot the rifle upwards, more bullets impacting on the wall and ceiling behind the vorcha than on the vorcha himself.

"Nice shooting!" Garrus yelled.

"Smart ass!" She yelled back. Without looking at her friend she fired another burst, shorter than the last. The bullets impacted on the vorcha but didn't slow him down, his barrier absorbing the burst. She activated another drone, it appeared behind him. He turned to fire upon it, Garrus and Kara combined their fire at that moment. The combined fire was too much for the vorcha's barrier and he collapsed on the ground.

"Fall back!"

Garrus went around the bend and Kara ran to the spot that Garrus had just vacated. She peered around. Four mercs were advancing now, three krogans and another vorcha. The vorcha was armed with a flamethrower. Kara fired another burst. The mercs leapt behind cover. Kara planted a proximity mine on the wall beside her at ankle height and then fled around the corner.

Mordin and Corlanus were taking cover behind a trolley car. They were pinned from above, taking fire from a concourse. Ash was firing blind upon their position. She was pinned behind a support pillar. Garrus was coolly waiting for her. She started to attract fire, bullets impacting upon her kinetic barrier. She dove headfirst, landing beside Garrus.

Debris flew into her as a massive explosion burst behind them. The ground grumbled and swayed uneasily. She turned behind her, readying her rifle. Two krogans were standing, dazed. She and Garrus fired upon them, ripping through their barriers and killing them. Next to them was the burning body of the vorcha flamethrower. Black smoke rose from his scorching corpse.

They turned their focus to their front. "I'm launching a drone." Kara said and turned to Garrus. "Use the distraction to knock them down."

Garrus nodded. Kara activated a drone above their position. It laid down fire on multiple vectors. The suppressive fire stopped. Ash threw a grenade onto the concourse. Mordin advanced, still shielding Corlanus. A krogan on the concourse stood up. Garrus spotted him and pulled the trigger. His shot penetrated through his barrier and felled him. Ash's grenade exploded. A vorcha was thrown off the concourse, landing hard on the ground. He landed next to Mordin and Corlanus. The fall hadn't killed the vorcha, he growled and snarled in pain and started to crawl. Corlanus levelled his pistol and fired, scoring a headshot. The vorcha slumped, his body lifeless and motionless.

A krogan was thrown from the blast onto the railing, exposing himself. "Fire." Kara ordered. She, Garrus and Ash laid a barrage of fire upon the exposed krogan. His body shrivelled as the bullets tore through his barrier and armour. Blood dripped onto the street below, his body limp. The drone took fire from two positions and quickly exploded, its weak barriers overwhelmed.

Kara's barrier exploded. Her skin burned, a searing burst, and a loud popping sound deafened her. She swore and ducked. Someone had overloaded her barrier. Her eyes darted to and forth, trying desperately to find the one who had targeted her. She blindly launched another drone. The drone floated upwards, slowly finding a hostile target. It flew towards the concourse, two defenders stubbornly remaining. Kara tapped furiously on her Omni-Tool, trying to force her barrier to reboot.

Staring behind them two Blue Sun mercs emerged. She fired upon them. _Behind us._ She thought she yelled at least, her deafness made her uncertain. She saw other tracer fire join onto her own. The mercs took cover behind one of their old positions. A grenade flew onto their position. Flushed out they exposed themselves and were downed by a last volley of fire.

Garrus grabbed her arm. He was saying something. She couldn't hear him. Kara shook her head. Garrus pointed a finger forward. She nodded and joined him advancing. She looked up at the concourse which had pinned them down. There didn't seem to be any activity. Ash was moving ahead of them, further ahead was Mordin, now alone. They were no longer under fire. Sound slowly returned to her ears.

Once they found their way out of the slums, Omega seemed undisturbed. Kara reasoned they were used to firefights breaking out in the slums. She was starting to feel normal again. Her breath starting to slow down, adrenaline slowly being filtered out. They holstered their weapons.

"Thank you, Commander." Corlanus said. He shook each of their hands.

"You're not coming with us?" Kara asked.

He shook his head. "My place is here. I'll keep an eye out in case this plague breaks out again."

"Are you going to be safe?" Ash said.

"I'll just forge a new ID and stay out of the mercs' way for a while." He said.

They nodded to another and he turned, making his way towards the market area. He quickly disappeared amongst a throng of people.

"Mission accomplished." Ash said. "How do you like the new rifle?"

"Love it!" Kara answered with a huge smile. The rifle was a revelation of sorts, the sheer brute force of the rifle gave her a thrill and adrenaline rush she hadn't felt since basic weapons training.

"It's done wonders for your accuracy." Ash said with a wicked grin. Garrus' mandibles twitched, trying to suppress a giggle. Kara playfully glared at Ashley.

"Something funny, Garrus?" Kara asked.

Garrus emitted what sounded like a cough. "I wasn't laughing. I was…eh…. Flexing my mandibles. Yeah, that's what I was doing. We need to do it periodically to keep our jawbones from atrophying."

"You're a horrible bullshitter, Garrus." Kara said, continuing to grin.

"Only because I don't need to." Garrus answered. Now it was Ashley's turn to suppress a giggle.

"Okay. Let's go before the shit starts to hit the fan." Kara said.

* * *

The Normandy just made it out of Omega's weapon range when they received a call from Aria. Shepard took it, still wearing her combat gear, stained with sweat and electrical damage.

"What the fuck were you doing down there?" Aria demanded.

"Defending myself." Kara answered plainly. "Making sure my team got out alive. What were you doing?"

"Fuck you, Shepard." Aria said. "You should be lucky I don't send any fighters after you."

"They'd have to find us first." Kara said. "If you don't like your mercs ending up dead, don't send them to attack me. They will lose. Every time." She said coldly.

They stared at another through the QEC screen, Aria's dark eyes seemed to glow.

"If you ever come near this station again, You'll get fucked up."

The screen went blank. She typed a brief report and sent it to the Council along with a request for a QEC conference. She showered and changed, feeling refreshed. Her first priority was to meet her new crewmember. She found him in medlab, Dr. Chakwas had already found room for him.

"Commander Shepard. Happy to be aboard. Will start working immediately. Very happy to share workspace with qualified doctor."

"Glad to have you aboard, doctor. I like to get to know my crew, tell me about yourself? You served in STG?"

"Correct. Did lots of cover ops. Retired. Became microbiologist. Medical practitioner." He answered.

An interesting resume. But there was obviously still more to him.

"So, why did Councillor Valern select you to be a part of my crew?" Kara asked.

"Applied for the position. Used references from STG."

"Why did you want to be part of this mission?" Kara asked.

"Read classified reports of the battle of the Citadel. Mission debriefings. Spoke with Capt. Kirrahae. Clear Reapers dangerous threat. Wanted to help. Had to be me."

"Have you heard of any other outbreaks of this virus?" Kara asked, for the moment satisfied with his resume. He shook his head.

"Any leads of who might've released this virus?"

"Likely based in Terminus systems given lack of other outbreaks. May be a test designed to test viral efficiency. Originator is small group in size. Given patient zero's occupation. Infected item a crate or parcel of some kind. No way to trace given average workload, spotty record-keeping and time window."

"Commander, I got the Council on the QEC." Joker buzzed on the intercom.

She shook Mordin's hand. "Thank you for coming aboard."

* * *

She went to the briefing and sat in one of the chairs. It took a few moments before the council's images appeared on the view screen. The four of them were standing side by side.

"Commander, we have read your report." Tevos began. "This news about a Reaper virus is most disturbing."

"What are you planning to do about it?" Kara asked. Straight to the point. There was no point in being diplomatic or beating around the bush. The stakes were too high.

"The terminus systems lies outside our jurisdiction." Valern said. "There is little we can do without triggering a war."

"We are preparing a health advisory and will monitor traffic in and out of the Terminus systems." Tevos said.

"Our best chance is for Dr. Solus to continue his research. He can liaise with our bio-research facilities." Valern said.

"We are boosting our presence near all known jump gates into Terminus." The turian councillor said. "This will permit us to more easily quarantine the system, if we need to."

She saw their reasoning. But that did nothing to assuage her frustration, they had to do something. It was like they were twirling their thumbs and hoping for the best.

"Okay," she sighed, "what about the weapon design we found? Have you started construction?"

The councillors exchanged glances amongst another, there was a sudden nervousness in their posture, their limbs moving in sudden, jerky movements.

"We are coordinating strategies amongst ourselves to ensure the most efficient and effective construction process." Valern said.

"In other words, no." Kara said, bitterness rising in her voice. "Why not?"

"It is a complicated endeavor, Shepard," Tevos began. "We must have a plan in place to fully coord-"

"No, it's not complicated. We either build it, or we die." Shepard said icily, leaning forward. "Stop fiddling while Rome burns. Shepard out."

Udina rose his arm to object, but thankfully the transmission ended before she had to hear what he was going to say. She sighed and slumped, leaning forward in her chair. She buried her head in her hands and closed her eyes. She didn't hear the figure approaching her from behind until she felt a warm hand lay upon her back.

"You okay, skip?" Ashley said.

 _I'm fine._ That would've been her instinctive response. To shrug it off and pretend like she was fine. But things were different now, especially with Ashley. She could be honest, open with her. Ashley would never judge her or think less of her.

"Usual Council bullshit?" She asked.

"Yeah." She said wearily, she looked at the wall in front of her, continuing to lean over. Ashley's warm hand on her back a welcomed source of comfort…. _maybe it's more than that._ She sat upright suddenly, as if the thought scared her. Ashley's hand went away, and she felt colder in its absence.

"They're dithering over building the….thing. And there's not much they can do about the virus." She said.

"You're doing great, Kara." Ashley said. "Two months ago, they didn't believe in any of this stuff. You made them believe. You saved their lives and they're scared stiff. They're listening to you now. You made them realize there's more to it than just everyone looking out for themselves. Things will get done, you just need to keep pushing."

"What if I don't feel like pushing?" Kara asked. _What?_ She thought to herself. _Did I just say that out loud? What kind of Commander am I?_

"Then we'll push you, with my boots up your ass!" Ashley chuckled, then resumed more seriously:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,  
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.  
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'  
We are not now that strength which in old days  
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;  
One equal temper of heroic hearts,  
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will  
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Kara looked at her friend and smiled warmly at her. It was comforting to know she had such a great crew, not just of talented people, but friends. With Ash she had a special kind of friend.

"Thanks, Ash." She said. "I'm happy you're here."

"That makes two of us." Ash answered. They looked at another, their eyes met briefly, and then just as suddenly looked away. Kara felt a strange feeling deep in her stomach during that brief moment. It was as strong as it was transient, like a giant bird was flapping its wings inside her. _Christ! What's going on?_ Kara yawned.

"I hate to be a party pooper." Ash said. "But Joker wants to know where to go next." Ash said, her tone more businesslike.

"There's a ruin we should check out while we're here in Terminus, on Horizon." Kara said.

"I'll let Joker know. You go get some shuteye." Ash said. Kara nodded, thankful for the pass. It had been a long day, and the mostly sleepless night was finally catching up to her. She wasn't 19 anymore. They looked at another one more time before they left the briefing room.

She eagerly slid into bed. She was able to sleep. For an hour and a half, before she awoke from the same nightmare. She remember more of the images, but they were still an incoherent blur. She was panting and breathing hard, her heart beating a thousand times per second. Her sheets were soaking wet again. She disentangled herself from the wet sheets without falling. She walked tentatively to her bathroom, she felt light and weak on her feet.

In the mirror her skin was pale, her hair soaking wet. She looked at her pallid skin. The old scars, the faded track marks were more visible. Of these she had no specific memory, they all blurred together as one. Except for one. On her left wrist, above the vein. It was from her first time shooting up. She wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight.

"Shit." She whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Their next trip was to a Prothean ziggurat outside a budding human colony on Horizon. It attracted its share of daring rogues, rugged survivalists and those with something to hide. It was a wonderful dream, humanity making it on its own, far from the protective net of the Council. But like all dreams, it collides violently with reality. Those colonies that survived did so by the skin of their teeth. Those smart, strong and resourceful enough managed to survive, but they were living on the razor's edge.

With 40% of the ziggurat was still standing it one of the better preserved Prothean relics in the galaxy. The colony opened a museum onsite and it was tourist location, generating income for the colony. But they weren't going in as tourists. The actual ziggurat was off limits to the public to preserve it. She needed to interact firsthand with whatever the temple contained. She was taking Liara and Tali with her. If they couldn't get in openly, Tali's hacking skills would prove invaluable in bypassing the security systems. Even outside the Council's reach, Prothean artifacts were strongly guarded.

The mako was a strange sight in the lot surrounding the museum. The ziggurat was about six stories high and several hundred meters in length and width. The museum attached it was a square glass building, parts of it hung over the lower sections of the ziggurat, giving tourists a top-down view of the ruin.

They wore formal uniforms, she and Liara had taken the precautions of sidearms but otherwise they were not geared for combat. She had no doubt some bureaucratic manoeuvres would be put into play. People saw them coming and stayed clear, eyeing them fearfully and suspiciously. The parting of souls continued as they made their way inside towards the entrance. The entrance was spacious and open, like any other museum. A guard stood by the reception desk and tensed seeing them. The guard was armed with nothing more than a taser stick.

"Relax." Shepard said, walking calmly towards the desk. "We need to talk to whoever's in charge. Name's Shepard, I'm a Spectre."

The clerk was a teenage boy, his face marked by freckles and pimples. "Eh, I'll uh...get the manager." He said nervously and thumbed the intercom, fumbling the keypad a few times before hitting the right button. They waited a few minutes before the manager arrived, she noticed more than a few of the looks they got focused on Tali. It was sad the prejudice against quarians was so widespread.

The manager came to them, he was rather thin with thinning hair and his glasses wore wire-thin frames, in fact there almost seemed to be no muscle mass on him altogether. He approached them and wore an impatient air.

"I'm Mark Tomlinson, the manager of this museum. How can I help you?" He shook each of their hands.

"My name's Shepard. I'm a Spectre. I need to examine the ruin." She said plainly.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, access to the site is off limits except to-" He began.

"You're misunderstanding me, Mr. Tomlinson. I'm telling you I need to examine the ruin as a courtesy, I'm not asking permission."

He looked at her darkly.

"You have our word that we will not be disrespectful or damage the site in any way." Liara said.

"Our interest is scientific." Tali added.

"Can you tell me what this about?" He asked, turning his regard on Liara for a moment, then to Tali and then back to her. His head pivoted robotically, unnaturally.

"It's classified." Kara said banally.

He rolled his eyes. "Can you at least give me an idea?"

"Afraid not, Mr. Tomlinson." Shepard said. "Just show us the site entrance and we'll be out of your way as soon as we can."

He sighed angrily and showed them to the restricted entrance to the site. They walked up the ramp that led inside the ziggurat. They weren't actually walked on the floor of the site itself, rather they were on a Zero-G walking platform that floated over the actual floor, preventing any damage to the site. The ramp was flat and on a long incline, there were no markings or railings alongside.

"I think this is religious in nature." Liara said. "The ascent of these stairs symbolizes the ascent into enlightenment."

They reached the summit, there was an archway over the entrance to the ziggurat. The arches were lined with carved hieroglyphs. They were badly eroded. Kara activated her Omni-Tool to enhance the appearance. The glyphs, which at first were vaguely recognizable, became clearer. The transition was so natural she hardly noticed it at first.

"I can read it." She said, surprised.

"Shepard? Really?" The tone in Liara's voice was elated. "Think of how much we could learn! There's so much I want to show you, now."

"First things first, Liara." Shepard said. "We deal with the Reapers, then I can become Indiana Jones in space."

"Who?" Liara asked.

"He was a famous human archeologist, got into a lot of adventures going through ancient ruins. He found the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant."

"Going through ruins isn't adventurous. It's serious work!" Liara said.

"I can't see how you can have an adventure going through old places like this." Tali said.

All of a sudden, she didn't feel so clever. She sighed and focused on the pillars. Some glyphs were missing, but she could fill in the gaps.

"Welcome, all ye worthy few to celebrate the empire." She said. Liara shuddered, not exactly a sign you'd find at a site of enlightenment. They put on oxygen masks to prevent further decay to the site.

They passed through the entrance, there were in a narrow hallway, both halls were lined with more glyphs. Even with her Omni-Tool, some glyphs were unreadable, too decayed by the ravages of time. She read aloud what she could make out. _...Showed our might and the Insuannon joined our Empire...the Papauri were wise in that they witnessed our glory and did not resist and joined the Empire...In the 325th year of the galactic Empire, we defeated the upstart foyani rebellion and eradicated their race..._

"It's a litany of conquests." Liara said, horrified. "I always thought the Protheans were peaceful."

"You don't run an empire without smashing some eggs." Kara said, reading more glyphs, seeing more conquests. "Empires are maintained by the sword. The only peaceful empire is a dead one."

Liara had no answer. The hallway followed the rectangular shape of the structure, slowly winding inwards, funneling them towards the centre. They also started to angle downwards. Shepard found herself tiring of the litany of conquests. The atrocities celebrated, all the suffering, death and misery inflicted upon these peoples. And yet, it seemed not to matter, forgotten by the galaxy, their own suffering eclipsed by the Reapers' countless cycles of xenocide.

At last, they came to a collapsed wall in the hallway, blocking their path further. Not far from the collapsed wall, Shepard saw an odd shape in the wall that looked like a doorframe. She set her Omni-Tool to scan.

"There's a hidden room behind this wall." She said. She ran her arm over the wall. Tali synched up her Omni-Tool with hers. There was a locking mechanism in place, gears linked to a giant combination lock. But the lock wasn't linked to anything they could make out, there was no keypad.

"They've been trying for decades to get in. No one has ever discovered a way." Liara said.

"Do you see a way in?" Tali asked.

She didn't answer, but continued to scan for a few moment but could gleam nothing further. She put her Omni-Tool down. She then looked at the glyphs on the wall. They were badly eroded and barely legible ... _are worthy...enter...hands...enlightenment..._

She looked over the glyphs one more time, then she saw something. Maybe it wasn't a gap in the glyphs, but part of the locking mechanism. There was a depression, circular, with three extending vertical lines. She pressed her hand into the depression. Her hand fit easily, it was for a hand much larger and longer than her own. For a few seconds, she felt nothing and was about to retrieve her hand when she felt a brief electric shock.

"What the hell?" She said. The wall started to vibrate. The vibrations were slight, barely noticeable at first but increased in frequency. She felt the ground vibrate as well.

"Keelah!" Tali said. "The door's opening."

"By the goddess!" Liara clapped her hands together in anticipation.

Shepard backed away, removing her hand from the slot. It was like stone grinding on stone as the ancient door next to her slowly. The three of them stuck their heads into the ever widening gap, each eager to witness this historic find.

The door grinded open for a few inches, riding on ancient railings and then stopped, leaving an opening barely one and a half feet across. Shepard stuck her head in but saw only darkness. They scanned and were able to make out the layout of this room. It was a central chamber with a round dais in the center. Lining the walls were several statuettes. The dais was emitting a faint energy reading.

"Goddess, Shepard, whatever we've found here is a great find. Those statues should be remarkably well preserved." Liara said.

"I'm going inside." Shepard said.

"Be careful." Tali said.

She slid through the passage. She used her Omni-Tool's flashlight function. She focused first on the statues scattered throughout the room. They looked to be representations of the Protheans. They were bipedal, taller, their heads were insecticidal, with several pairs of eye slots, and six-fingered hands. On the walls between the statuettes were more glyphs carved into the walls. But the tone was completely different. The glyphs outside this sanctum were prideful, boasting of conquests forgotten and irrelevant. These glyphs were a lament, for lost friends, family, planets, species, and systems. She noted the statues were inscribed with writings boasting about rising from the grave to achieve vengeance. It hit her then.

"Oh my God." She said. "These aren't just statues, they're stasis pods." Her scans revealed the pods had only dust and bones inside. The importance of this discovery seemed hollow, a trivial pursuit compared to her real objective.

"Maybe we'll be able to salvage some Prothean DNA." Liara suggested, her voice echoing into the empty chamber.

"Maybe." Shepard said, she started walking towards the dais. It was oval-shaped, at one end there was a small protruding beam, and it looked like a miniature version of these beacons. Observing it more closely, she deduced it was some kind of a command console, there were several keypads around its length and worn displays. Placed upon its surface were several, dust covered tablets, stacked upon another. She looked at the first one and carefully wiped its surface with her gloves. It took her a few moments to realize what she was looking it. A star map.

"This is like a smaller-scale version of Illos." She said to her companions. "They were hiding in stasis, waiting for the Reapers to go away. But their power ran out."

"Interesting, they were several jumps away from Illos and they had the same plan." Liara said.

"Well, not exactly." Kara said. "I get the impression these were warriors, not scientists."

"Another porthean tomb." Tali said sadly.

"I'm almost done." Shepard said. "Just one more thing I want to check out."

"We should let the administrator know what we've found." Liara said. "I think it will make him view our visit more favourably."

Shepard turned her attention back to the dais and the small protruding device. She walked towards it. As she neared, the energy signature increased.

"What's going on, Shepard?" Liara asked. "I'm reading an increased energy signature."

Shepard ignored her, the mini-beacon started to faintly glow and flicker. She was within an arm's reach. The ground beneath her vibrated steadily, just enough for her to be able to sense it. She slowly reached for the implement. It glowed brighter, and flickered less. She almost felt heat emanating from it.

"Are you sure about this, Shepard?" Tali said.

She ignored them. She had to investigate every clue, every lead. She couldn't leave nothing to chance, leave no stone unturned. This was her mission and should would do everything short of compromising her principles to accomplish it.

Damning caution, she reached for the mini-beacon and grasped it in her hand. A blistering shock shot through her body. Her ears exploded in white noise, her eyes were flooded with thousands of images whirring by every nanosecond. She didn't know it, but her body levitated, shooting upwards until her head hit the ceiling. Her body shook like she was having a grandmal seizure. Liara and Tali rushed inside and they weren't able to catch her as her body fell to the ground. Her eyes were open but unseeing, her pupils dilated and darted every which way, she was uttering panicked gibberish under her breath. Her friends called her and shook her body but she did not respond. Her eyes closed as suddenly as they had opened and her body collapsed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Her eyes opened tentatively, she felt weak and nauseous. The nausea seemed tolerable, but only in relation to her throbbing headache, like a thousand tiny hammers were pounding away within her temple. She managed to prop herself upright. She was in Medbay. The lights were dim but she could make out a figure slumped at the foot of her bed. She activated the lights. Ashley was there, awkwardly asleep. Sitting in a chair, her head leaned forward and resting on the foot of her bed. A strange, hoarse hissing sound emitted from her lips and it took Kara few moments to realize she was snoring. Life as a soldier prepares you for sleep in the most uncomfortable of places, but this was something else. Despite her uncomfortable position and distinctly unmusical snoring, she looked peaceful.

Kara reached forward and gently gripped Ashley's shoulder. "Ash." She said.

Ash stirred, her body twitched at her touch. Her eyes opened groggily at first, then opened wide when she saw her.

"Kara!" She said, in a tone of relieved desperation. Instinctively Ash grabbed Kara's outstretched arm, and squeezed, as if she needed further assurance that she was awake. Despite her tentative state, Kara felt a flutter of warmth from her stomach before Ash's hand retreated. She felt a pang of absence, as if she'd suddenly lost something very dear.

"You're awake!" Ash said.

"Of course I'm awake. That snoring would've woken up the portheans." Kara said, grinning broadly.

"I don't snore." Ash said firmly, almost offended. The two women glared at another for a few seconds before the façade of sternness evaporated when frowns became smiles. They laughed together. Ash sat up, she stretched her arms out, relieving the cramp in her shoulders and neck.

"How long have I been out?" Kara asked. Ash looked at the clock on the wall. "About 18 hours."

"18 hours? Shit." Kara said wearily. "You've been here that long?"

Ash nodded. Kara struggled to find something to say and she stammered, unleashing a volley of incoherent syllables.

"You're welcome." Ash said, chuckling at her friend's discomfort. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've got the mother of all hangovers."

"Worse than last time?" Ash asked, something of sisterly concerning appearing her eyes.

Kara nodded. "Even though that beacon was smaller, it sure packed a bigger punch."

"Do you remember anything from it?" Ash asked.

"Not really. It just went by so fast. I'll probably need Liara's help again to make sense of it."

"Just what you need. Someone else running through your brain." Ash said. "What's it feel like? When she does that to you?"

Kara fought to describe it. "It's….shit. It kinda reminds me of being high." She said ruefully, and looked away from Ashley, at the medical readout next to her, unable to face her friend in shame. "You're in some other world, you see and feel and hear amazing things. And then you crash back down to earth and feel like shit. And you'd do anything to feel that way again, even if it's just for a few seconds."

"I guess that explains the consort." Ashley said. Kara turned and saw her grinning.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kara retorted quickly, too quickly.

Ashley chuckled. "That might've worked with Kaidan. But I know what the look on your face meant."

Kara felt herself blushing. "Well, that was…something else entirely." She brushed her hair, and looked away, only to turn her head again and found Ash was looking at her with strange intensity. "Something pretty intense, actually." She risked a smile. Liara's mind probes were practical, but her encounter with the consort was something else. Sensual. Passionate. And like the brightest of flames, only briefly alight. And this gift she shared freely with any she deemed worthy. Yet this didn't lessen the value of the gift.

"You don't have to be bashful, Skip." Ashley said warmly. "I'd never judge you."

"Thanks, even after that, I just prefer regular human females." Kara said.

"I can think of a new crewmate who wouldn't mind hearing that." Ash said, grinning.

"I…don't really think she's my type." Kara said.

"You sure? She's smart, strong and pretty. That's your type." Ash said, looking keenly at her friend.

 _She shook her head. She's not the only one here who fits that description_. Kara thought to herself and then immediately chastised herself for it.

Ash chuckled. "I guess I've tortured you long enough. I'll let Doc Chakwas know you're up. It'll be her turn to torture you."

Kara nodded. Ash stood up and started to walk away.

"Hey Ash," Kara called. Her friend stopped. "Thanks for watching over me… and for the chat."

"Oh Captain, my captain. My friend." Ash said and squeezed Kara's shoulder affectionately before walking away. She didn't have much time to dwell as within moments Dr. Chakwas was above her.

* * *

The senior staff met in the briefing room an hour later after Dr. Chakwas has medically debriefed her. Despite only feeling moderately better, Kara allowed Liara access to her mind. She stumbled on her feet and would've fallen if not for Liara steadying her.

"By the Goddess!" Liara exclaimed.

"Holy shit!" Kara exclaimed.

"Those protheans went mad." Liara said.

The cascade of images made sense. The protheans in the temple had hidden themselves away. A temple that had been erected to boast of their glorious empire. The protheans gathered in their hour of ultimate doom not to swear vengeance, but contrition. The most extreme acts of contrition imaginable. Upon the steps they had walked, the protheans sacrificed themselves, butchering themselves in hopes of appeasing the Reapers, who they saw as vengeful Gods. And in the centre room they'd stored the memories of their madness, surrounded by the self-appointed priests of the new apocalyptic religion. When the last of their acolytes and followers had been killed, the priests completed the sacrifice, sealing their own coffins and then disemboweling themselves inside.

"It kinda makes sense." Traynor said. "If you view yourself at the mercy of cruel gods, you offer sacrifices to appease them. It's a practice primitive cultures throughout the galaxy have practiced."

"Seeing their race exterminated must've reawakened old religious practices." Mordin said. "They abandoned modernity and enlightenment. Reverted to an atavistic state. A method to the madness."

"Logical insanity." Kara said quietly.

"Indeed." Mordin said. There was a heavy silence that hung in the air as they contemplated the fate of these protheans. Kara felt it coming down upon them, and felt the desperate need to interject.

"What's our current status?" She asked.

"We're en route to the next known Prothean dig site." Traynor said. "We're about 8 hours away."

"What about the museum?" Kara asked.

"They're ecstatic about the discovery. It's giving them free press and grant money is flowing in now. They would like your help translating all the hieroglyphics. Well, the entire galaxy does now." Traynor said.

"That will have to wait." Kara said. " Mordin. Any update on the virus?"

"Negative. Extremely complex organism. No sign of further outbreak on Omega."

"Okay. I'll file a report with the Council. Dismissed."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Kara strapped into her combat gear. The ruin, another beacon, was in an underground facility. It was on Joab in the Sigurd's cradle system. They couldn't discern why the Blue Suns were guarding it, there wasn't much profit in guarding archeological relics. From what they could gather, there was a small detachment, maybe a dozen troops. She was taking Garrus and Ashley with her.

As sad as it seemed, this was a break from the monotony of the past month. Skipping from planet to planet, ruin to ruin, finding little new. The beacons all warned of the same threat: The Reapers. Had the protheans found nothing to defeat them? Was she leading a futile effort? Was there some better way of defeating the Reapers before they came through? Was that even possible?

The only thing she liked about interacting with these beacons was waking up and finding Ashley there by her bedside. A sentinel to protect her from harm while she slept. But that was cold comfort if none of this led anywhere. But she couldn't think about that now, they had a job to do. Giving up wasn't go to achieve anything.

They came in hot. The Normandy flying at tree-top level. The base was at the bottom of a valley in treacherous terrain, making a land run in the Mako impossible. They had to do another precision drop, like on Illos. She was in the driver's seat of the Mako. Ashley and Garrus were strapped in, next to the hatch.

"You guys up for this?" Shepard asked.

"Absolutely." Garrus said. "When I heard we were going in the Mako, I made sure to pack on some extra armour and some anti nausea pills."

Ashley laughed. Shepard turned to her.

"Is there something wrong with my driving?" She asked with a grin.

"Wrong? God, no." Ashley answered. "It's just...really unique."

Now it was Garrus' turn to chuckle, clacking his mandibles together.

"Okay, while you two are out there fighting the bad guys, I'll just stay in here, having a nice Sunday morning stroll in the Mako. How's that sound?" She teased.

"Will it improve your driving?" Garrus asked.

"Don't bet on it." Ashley replied.

"Tough crowd." She said.

"15 Seconds Commander." Joker's voice intoned.

The time for jokes was over. There was a loud metallic whining indicating the cargo doors were being lowered. She saw the base in the viewport, rushing towards them. There was some rock cover in front of the entrance. She saw no sentries on duty and the scanners didn't detect any mines or active security measures.

"Mako released." Joker said.

The Mako flew out of the Normandy's cargo hold. They had less than 20 meters. They hit the ground hard. Shepard slammed on the brakes, she felt the brake pads grinding through her foot. The Mako slid, it's momentum carrying it forward, stopping with only inches separating it from a boulder.

"Let's go!" Shepard ordered. They leapt out of the Mako's rear hatch, leaping for cover. They made their way towards the entrance, sneaking under cover. The closer they came to the entrance, the more their tension increased. They should've come under fire by now.

They came to the entrance of the complex, sliding doors built into the rock face. She scanned with Omni-Tool. The door wasn't even locked, there were no power readings coming from inside. She exchanged worried looks with her squad mates before manually pulling the doors open.

They activated night vision on their helmets. Inside was a slaughter. The dugout cave was littered with the bodies of Blue Suns mercs. There was a dozen bodies, sprawled in various poses of death. Blood littered the floors and the walls. The blood wasn't yet dry, this had happened only hours ago. At the far end of the cave was a large pile of rubble, like a cave in had occurred.

"Notice anything?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah." Garrus said. "Blue Suns are mostly humans, turians and batarians. I only see humans."

"Could be coincidence. Looks like only a dozen people were posted here." Ash said.

"Maybe, but I have a gut feeling this isn't coincidence." Garrus said.

They heard a sudden shuffling noise. They readied their rifles.

"That came from that room over there." Ashley said.

They hugged the wall and cautiously neared the room where the sound emanated. Their combat boots cracked only the rocky floor. Despite their best attempts at being stealthy, they were being undone by the natural environment.

"I surrender." They heard a male voice, probably human, shouting from the room when they approached.

"What about the rest of your friends?" Shepard shouted back.

"They're all dead. It's just me." He answered.

"Slowly step out where we can see you. Hands up."

The man came into view, his arms raised, his blue suns armour stained by blood and burn marks. His left forearm was missing, the stump sealed by a hasty application of medigel. He turned to face them as the trio made their way towards him.

"What's your name?" Shepard asked as they approached.

The man flinched, as if he wasn't expecting to be asked that.

"Locke. Lieutenant Locke." He answered. Shepard ordered Garrus to activate the generator. She and Ashley held their prisoner at gun point during the few minutes it took Garrus to fix the generator and activate the lights. They deactivated their night vision. With the lights on, Locke fixed her with an inquisitive gaze, there was little hiding the pain behind them.

"What are you doing here?" He said. She nodded to Garrus and Ashley to go further in the facility.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. Who's paying you to guard an antique ruin and what happened here?" Shepard asked.

"Cerberus paid us." He answered.

"Cerberus." Shepard said. Her teeth clenched and her finger toyed with the safety before turning away. Her eyes scanned darkly the carnage left behind.

"Talk." She said.

He looked at her with some trepidation, seeing how the mention of Cerberus had changed her demeanor. "We've been here about a week. Freighter's supposed to be picking up that relic in the next day or so. Called the MSV Stronium Mule. We got attacked by batarian special forces. They killed everyone and blew up the relic."

"How did you survive?" She asked.

"I played dead and hid in there. The whole thing was over in 20 minutes." Shepard absorbed this. Why were Cerberus interested in this relic? Why had the batarians destroyed it? Was it only this relic they were interested in, or did they have interest in other relics?

"Anything else?" She said.

"Yeah, our contract with Cerberus had a weird clause."

"Like what?"

"Humans only. Normally, we have mixed squads but the contract forbade it." _That fits with Cerberus._

"Who's your Cerberus contact?" She asked.

"Someone named Taylor."

"Where did you meet this Taylor?" Shepard said.

"I didn't." Locke said. "I just got my orders. Everything on a need to know basis. Anything else is above my pay grade."

"Okay. You're coming with us, Locke." Shepard said.

A surprised look washed over Locke's face. "Thanks, Commander. If you guys can drop me off on Omega, I can hook up with my unit...Guess I'll be able to collect my disability pension." He looked sadly at the stump of his missing arm. Too much time had passed to reattach is original hand. No doubt he would have a top of the line prosthetic fitted, but nothing could replace organic flesh. The best of them couldn't replicate the feel and flexibility of the real thing.

Shepard nodded. The Normandy wasn't equipped for prisoners but she didn't want to turn Locke loose until they'd met his Cerberus contact. Letting him send an SOS would tip Cerberus off.

"Inside of the facility's clear, Commander." Ash said over the comms. "They blew up the relic. There's bits of the relic mixed in with the rubble, though. Might be able to salvage something."

"I'll check it out." Shepard said. Locke remained in place, looking at them. "Maybe I can still interact with it in some way."

"Are you sure, Commander?" Williams asked, more than a hint of concern in her voice.

"I'll be okay. You two come back here." She looked at the Blue Suns lieutenant, puzzling over their next step. If Cerberus were interested in Prothean relics, that was a lead they had to investigate. Who knows what damage they could do if they acted unchecked? There was more, of course. The thought of hunting Cerberus pleased her immensely.

Garrus and Ashley came back. She told them what Locke had told her and ordered Garrus to take Locke into custody. She then mentioned her plan to lay in wait on the Normandy for the freighter to show up. Shepard went towards the rubble pile in the other room, Ashley followed her. Kara turned to look upon her friend. The concern on her face was obvious, but so was something else. The realization that this had to be done, and there would be no dissuading her.

"Here to catch me?" Kara asked as they came upon the rubble. The shards and pieces of the becon were easy to discern from the rocks, they were shining grey, smooth in sharp contrast to the dirty and jagged rocks and dust.

"Yep." Ashley said. Yet she could tell Ash was worried. _You don't need to worry about me._

"Thanks." Kara said, looking at her friend with some warmth.

She knelt down before the largest piece left. It was a foot long, shaped like a serrated knife. Her heart started beating, and she felt a deep pit in the depth of her stomach. She breathed in and out deeply. She felt nausea creep in, her throat dried. She reached out with her hand, and saw with alarm her hand was shaking. She quickly jerked her hand back to her side, hoping Ashley hadn't seen it. _Fuck._ _She can't see me like this._

She was surprised when Ashley's hand touched her shoulder. "It's okay, Kara." She said soothingly. Kara turned to look at her friend. An enigmatic look passed through Ashley's eyes. It was only there for a moment, quickly replaced by her usual quiet determination.

"I'm here for you." Ashley said.

Kara nodded and smiled at her friend. She reached down and grabbed the shard. A loud, piercing noise filled her mind. Her ears bled, her vision was flooded with thousands of whirring, confusing, contradictory images, she couldn't hear herself scream but it was a relief when she collapsed into unconsciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

She awoke alone in the medical bay, her head throbbing worse than before. "Ash?" She called out, expecting to find her friend nearby. She heard footsteps, but saw Dr. Chakwas coming towards her. Kara felt something like disappointment seeing her doctor instead of her friend.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Commander." She said, appearing over her. Kara pushed herself up.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked her.

"Pretty shitty." She answered. "How long have I been out?"

"Just under a day, 23 and a half hours." Chakwas answered grimly. She tried to lighten the mood. "I'm thinking of charging you rent for how often you spend time in here."

"Holy shit." Kara whispered, massaging her throbbing temples with her fingers. She moaned in discomfort. Her mouth felt dry, when she moved her head she felt dizzy. She was wearing her under-armour tracksuit, it was sticky and stained with sweat.

"Can you give me a sitrep, doc?"

"Of you, or of the mission?" Chakwas asked.

"Am I in that bad shape?"

"Whenever you interact with those beacons, the effects worsen. You lose consciousness for longer and your body takes longer to recover. I'm noticing your brainwave patterns are changing. We don't understand enough about this technology's effects on you that I worry about the risk of long-term complications. Perhaps this being only a fragment of a beacon made it worse."

"What do you mean about my brainwaves?" She asked.

"Every time you interact with a beacon, your brainwave patterns have changed. Here." Chakwas produced a PDA that showed three images of wavy lines.

"The top is your brainwave patterns when you first jointed this ship. Normal. The second is after your encounter on Eden Prime. The last was taken a few hours ago." The lines in the third image were drastically different from the first, they were wider and deeper oscillations, the lines looked like a series of deformed eggs. She swore underneath her breath, her brain was being rewired. Why? Was this a side effect or was there something deliberate behind this?

"Afraid I don't see any other way, Doc." Kara said.

"That's what worries me." Chakwas said, looking down upon her, like a concerned mother having a discussion with her child. "You shouldn't be so eager to rush headlong into danger. We are all counting on you, what would happen if we were to lose you?"

"I'll be okay, doc." Kara said, the doctor's questioning making her feel even more uncomfortable. The doctor remained unconvinced.

"I'm declaring you off duty for 48 hours. I'll reevaluate your condition then. In the meantime, get plenty of rest and keep yourself fed and hydrated."

Kara grunted. She pivoted awkwardly on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge. She pushed herself off the bed, her feet hit the ground and just as quickly nearly collapsed. Doctor Chakwas held her until Kara regained her balance. She felt tentative on her feet, her legs trembled slightly, as if she were about to collapse. She made her first few steps with Chakwas' help, afterwards was able to walk on her own, albeit very slowly.

Rather than head for her quarters, she went for the CIC. She could rest once she knew what was going on. She slowly emerged onto the CIC. Everyone was glued to their stations, listening intently to the combat chatter over the comms. A few armed sentries were standing by the airlock. She heard Ashley's voice, and then Liara's and Tali's. Garrus was up in the cockpit, listening to the comms with Joker and engaging in banter. Traynor was the first to spot her.

"Oh my God, Commander." Traynor walked over towards her. Traynor offered her arm, and Kara took a hold of her arm as they walked towards her pedestal above the galaxy map. She leaned on the railing to keep herself upright. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Traynor. Thanks."She said. "Give me a sitrep and a coffee"

"Yes ma'am." Traynor said. "The freighter arrived in the system 15 minutes ago. We boarded about 10 minutes ago. They're making progress."

"What about our guest?" She asked.

"He's under guard in the crew quarters. He's behaving himself."

"Has he been questioned?" Kara asked.

"Yes. Garrus interrogated him and he's convinced he's telling the truth."

Traynor then left and quickly returned with a fresh cup of Duncan Hills coffee. Shepard beamed with gratitude. This was infinitely better than the fetid excuse for coffee the Alliance supplied them with. Two days now with real coffee. She felt better after only a single sip. She listened to the comms traffic of the boarding operation. Things seemed to be going well.

"Thanks, Traynor." Kara said.

"You're welcome. I figure you owe me a favour now." She said.

Kara couldn't argue with that. Having an affordable supply of Duncan Hills coffee had improved her morale, and probably her odds of survival. Not just her own, but of their entire ship.

"Okay, what is it?"

"I was thinking," Traynor said, "That you could get me an eezo-powered tooth brush. It creates tiny mass effect fields to scrub teeth super clean. It's only 100,00 credits."

"Yeah, you're on your own there." Kara said with a chuckle.

"Williams to Normandy, ship has been pacified. We have one prisoner. Says his name is Taylor." She said over the comms.

"Well done, Lieutenant. Search the ship for any intel." Traynor said.

"Looks like I missed the exciting part." Kara said.

"Commander, now you've had your coffee, you really should go to your quarters and rest." Traynor said.

"Rest? I've been in a bed for the past day." She said.

"You might've been in bed, but from what I hear, you weren't doing much resting or sleeping." Traynor said.

"Sounds like I had a good time." Kara said instinctively. Then realizing what she'd said, cast an embarrassed glance at Traynor. Traynor pretended to cough to cover up her laughter. Kara couldn't hold her facade and giggled. Traynor dropped her pretense and laughed with her.

"I mean it, Commander." Traynor said once their laughter had died down. "I won't be a part of you disobeying the doctor's orders." She wasn't backing down or letting her shyness get the better of her. She was happy to see growing assertiveness from her XO. She didn't want her XO to rubber stamp, but someone willing to question her CO's orders. Someone capable of assuming command.

"Okay," She said, surprised at her own contrition. "I'll wait until they come back, then I'll go my room and behave."

"Well, I don't know about the last part, Commander. You seem to have difficulty behaving." Traynor said with a sly grin. Kara smiled.

"Call me Kara." She said quietly. Traynor beamed and looked away shyly.

"Only if you call me Samantha." She said, looking upon her again. Their eyes met briefly before Samantha looked away nervously.

"Okay, Samantha." Kara said. "You've got yourself a deal."

 _Ashley's right, there is something attractive about her._ She thought, and then just as quickly pushed the thought away. The last thing she should be thinking about right now. _For fuck's sake, I'm trying to stop a galactic invasion and what's got me in feathers is my goddamn love life._

"Standby shoreparty." The ship's VI announced. Kara found her heartbeat skipped a few beats and tried to walk towards the airlock. But her few steps were tentative and she was still weak on her legs. Ashley came through the doors and Kara sighed with relief. She wasn't sure why, Ash had come back from dozens of missions before, many far more dangerous than this one. She hated feeling this way.

"Kara!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Ash!" Kara said, temporarily forgetting her weakness. They smiled at another as Ash walked towards her. Liara and Tali weren't far behind her, their prisoner was a tall human male, his hands in shackles. He was fit and some might consider him handsome. His look was one of open distrust. But his look softened when he saw her and recognition flashed in his eyes.

"Take him to our brig." Shepard ordered. Liara and Tali led him below.

"How are you feeling?" Ash said

"Better now I've had my coffee. Real coffee." Kara then asked her for a debriefing.

"10 Crew. All fought to the death except for Taylor. All humans. They had enough time to wipe data from their computers. Cargo hold was empty except for loading equipment."

"Looks like Garrus and I are going to chat with our new guest." Shepard said. She knew Traynor was looking at her did her best to ignore her.

"So, who's gonna be the good cop?" Garrus asked as they boarded the elevator.

"You." Shepard said. "I don't have it in me to pretend to be good cop. Not to Cerberus."

* * *

Taylor was chained to a bulkhead but was given a cot and a food tray and bottled water were placed in reach. A guard was keeping a watch on him. It was in sharp contrast to Locke who was given leave to roam the ship, though mostly keep to himself. Garrus had a run a DNA check. His name was Jacob Taylor, ex-Alliance. Resigned three years ago and gone off the grid since. His father was one of many who'd perished in the first Contact War. Solid performance reports from his former COs, but there were more than a few incidences of refusing to work with aliens, especially turians. Garrus and Shepard stood over him. He was sitting on his cot, ignoring them though he glanced occasionally at his food.

"Why are you working for Cerberus?" Garrus asked.

"Lieutenant Jacob Taylor. 015542." He said, looking defiantly at them.

"You're a member of a terrorist organization. Your rank and serial number are bullshit." Shepard said. She clenched her fists.

"Lieutenant Jacob Taylor. 015542." He said, still looking defiantly at them.

"Why are you interested in Prothean relics?" She asked.

He repeated his name, rank and serial number. Her hands trembled with fury. This man was Cerberus. A ghost haunting her .Her team on Akuze. All the horrors they'd found while on Saren's trail. This was a chance to get even. To purge the rot and clean the infection.

"You lost the right to a rank and serial number when you joined a gang of racist terrorists." She took a step toward him, glaring down at him. He met her gaze defiantly, but she saw no reflection of the hatred that burned within her. Until his eyes turned towards Garrus. Then the hatred became clear and visceral.

"You want me to talk? Tell bird brain to piss off." He said.

Rather than walk away, Garrus stepped forward, his shadow loomed ominously over their prisoner. His talons menacingly close to their prisoner.

"You hear that Garrus? It's almost like thinks calling you names is going to hurt your feelings." Her gaze removed fixed on the prisoner, though she was aware of Garrus' movements.

"That's actually, kind of, what's the human word? Cute." Garrus said.

"Is this how the Alliance treats prisoners now? With intimidation?" Taylor said.

"Still better than how you treat prisoners." Shepard said. "Turning them into husks and thorian creepers. I wonder what Coporal Toombs' family or Admiral Kahoku's widow think of that."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Taylor said. "Even if those were Cerberus ops, I had nothing to do with them."

"So what are you a part of?" Shepard said.

Taylor froze, realizing he'd revealed something. He looked away and repeated his name, rank and number.

"What do you want?" Shepard said.

"What I want and what Cerberus wants, is the same thing every human wants: What's best for humanity." He said.

"As opposed to all those other pro-human terrorist groups who want what's worse for humanity." Garrus said.

"How does taking prothean relics help humanity?" Shepard said. "And why would the batarians want to destroy the same relic you were going to pick up?"

Taylor looked at her, fixing her with his gaze. It was like he was trying to decipher something. Then, the look was gone, and he repeated his imprisoned mantra.

"I think we should let him cool off." Garrus said. "Maybe it will improve his attitude."

They left Taylor alone. It was time to write a report for the Council. So much for being off-duty. She needed another coffee.

* * *

"Commander Shepard, we have reviewed your last report with interest." Councillor Tevos began their meeting.

"We are ordering you to return to the Citadel and turn over your Cerberus prisoner to C-Sec for detention and interrogation immediately." Sparatus said.

"Very well." Shepard said. It wasn't often she received a direct order like this. She agreed with it, Garrus was a C-Sec veteran but interrogation wasn't his forte. And no one else on the ship had interrogation expertise. She couldn't trust herself in his presence, the urge to become violent was dangerously alluring. Liara could attempt to read his thoughts, but that kind of violation wasn't justifiable, even to a Cerberus puke like him.

"There are some other developments which we'd like to discuss in person." Udina said.

"Understood." Shepard said.

"What are your plans with your mercenary prisoner?" Tevos asked.

"We're dropping him off on Omega. Holding him doesn't serve any purpose. Plus, he promised to help me in the future." Shepard said.

"Having an asset inside the Blue Suns might be of some use in the future." Sparatus said.

"We look forward to your arrival, Commander Shepard." Tevos said as the transmission ended.

* * *

Kara lay on her bed, strumming her guitar lazily. She'd gained a headache since speaking to the Council. These migraines always came to her when she spoke with the Council, there was something almost funny about that coincidence. About her migraines and sleeplessness, there was nothing funny. She pushed the guitar away and opened her bedside table and pulled out the Broker's communication device. It looked so easy. All she had to do was press a button. And she would know what she needed. The futile search would be over. But then, what would the price be? Given the stakes, was she petty to worry about paying such a price?

There was a buzz at her door. "Enter." It was Ash, holding a datapad in her hand. They smiled at another. Kara felt the now familiar warmth that arouse whenever she was in Ashley's presence. Especially when they were alone together. It was weird but oddly thrilling.

"What's that thing?" Ash asked about the communication device. Kara told her.

"Why not just throw it away?" Ash asked.

"I like to keep my options open." Kara said.

"Let's hope we don't have to use it." Ash said. Kara nodded.

"Listen," Ash said suddenly, pulling out the databad. "I have this crazy idea. I thought it would be cool if we made music." Kara looked at Ash directly. Ash looked like a deer caught in the headlights for a few moments before she laughed nervously.

"Not like that!" She said, punching Kara's arm. "Pervert. I meant, I thought it would be cool if you did some music to some poetry."

"Eh, okay." Kara said. "Did you have a poem in mind?"

"Yeah. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost." Ash gave her the datapad. She read through the poem a couple of times.

"Why this one?" Kara said.

"It's one of my favourites." Ash said.

"Okay. I'm not really good with coming up with stuff." Kara said.

"Bullshit. You were awesome that one night in the pub." Ash said.

"Em, okay." Kara said. She plugged her guitar into her effects suite and decided to use some reverb and chorus to give it a wintery sound. She played some slow, melodic lines. Ash laid on her back and closed her eyes to the music. Kara turned her head to look at her, the rhythmic rising and lowering of chest, the looked of blissful relaxation on her beautiful face. _She's so beautiful._ Somehow her snoring didn't decrease the picture of beauty. She wanted to put her guitar away and kiss her sleeping lips. But she couldn't. Ash was her friend, her subordinate, and they could be nothing more.

She nudged Ashley awake. "You started snoring again. You like my playing that much?" Kara teased. Ash laughed. "Well, guess I should get some shuteye. Later, skip." Ashley slowly left her quarters, as if she were reluctant to leave.

* * *

Kara walked around the ship, she didn't feel like sleeping. She wasn't surprised to find Garrus hunched over a console in the forward batteries, feverishly tapping away at a keyboard display.

"Calibrations?" She said.

"Calibrations." He said. "I bet if I keep working it I can squeeze a bit more juice out of this thing. Every little bit will help."

She laughed and sat down next Garrus' workstation.

"Something on your mind?" Garrus asked.

"Yeah, I need to ask you something." She said.

Garrus heard the tone of her voice. He stopped working on the console and turned to look at her. Kara felt nervous suddenly.

"This is gonna be weird." She said, "Fuck, I've never talked to anyone about stuff like this before but, ah, shit. How do I say this?" She buried her head in her hands.

"Take your time, Kara." Garrus said. He sat next to her.

"It's about Ashley." Kara said. Garrus said nothing, but continued to patiently look upon his friend.

"I'm developing feelings for her." She said.

Garrus was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. "Well, I do have some experience in relieving sexual tension on a dangerous mission. There was this one time, I had reach, but she had flexibility..."

"Those aren't the kind of feelings I'm talking about. I've had girlfriends before, even a few boyfriends when I was younger. But whenever I started to get close to someone, I would push them away. I was afraid they'd hurt me."

"Someone got close to you and hurt you?" Garrus asked.

"Something like that." Kara said, thinking about Timmy Quinn and his dead eyes and his ice-cold body entwined with hers gave her a shudder.

"I see." Garrus said.

"We've become close. I didn't mean for us to, I'm scared. But, she's everything I could ever want in a not just a girlfriend, but...something long term. I don't even know what that would be. I just don't think she feels the same way I do."

"What makes you say that?" Garrus asked. Kara turned her head sharply to look at her friend. The notion had never occurred to her.

"I've known her as long as you have. If I've only ever learned one thing, is that she's full of surprises. She used to be really distrustful of aliens. Now, she treats Tali like a sister and me like a friend. A big deal considering how shafted her father was after Shanxi. She sees the value of this mission, of species cooperating together. The only advice I can give you is to talk to her. It's the only way you'll know for sure."

"Yeah, I guess." Kara said. "I'm afraid of pushing her away, damaging what we do have. Endangering the mission. If she doesn't feel the same way, it could make things really awkward. And I'd lose a friend. An amazing friend."

"Look." Garrus said, shaking his head. "I'm not really the best person for this kind of advice. But, as an expert marksman, I can tell you that if you never shoot you'll always miss. If you spend too much time lining up for the perfect shot, you lose your target. A shot doesn't have to be perfect for it to hit."

"But what about the crew?" She said.

"We like and respect both of you too much for that to be a problem." Garrus said. "

Kara thanked her friend. She felt surer of herself but still nervous. She would take the plunge, but how? And when? She wandered through the ship, sipping from a cup of coffee, lost in her thoughts. Before she realized it, she was in Mordin's lab.

"Shepard. Good to see you. You're up late. How can I help?" She stared at the salarian like she'd been hit with a stun gun for a few moments before recovering.

"Oh, nothing much, just walking around, trying to get my thoughts straight."

"Reflection time good for those in command positions. Some like to mediate. Have noticed you play a musical instrument. Is this how you reflect?" He said in his unique, staccato delivery.

"Yeah." She said, though she was eager to change the subject. They'd been together a month and she still knew little about him. "Tell me more about your time with STG. What kind of stuff did you do?" The salarian fixed her with his eyes for a moment before answering.

"Commander. Glad you asked. Decided openness is best to facilitate integration into team. Have come to trust you with sensitive information."

Kara nodded. It was nice to know he'd learned to trust her.

"Work with STG included modification of the genophage."

 _What?_ A pin drop would've sounded like a nuclear explosion.

"What? You modified the genophage? How? Why?" She asked, she paced towards him. She couldn't help the tone of anger in her voice.

"STG teams found krogan were adapting to the genophage. Made modifications to ensure genophage still maintained effect."

"But why? Haven't the krogan suffered enough." Kara said.

"Adaptation of genophage best result. If Krogan population increases, galaxy will declare war. War would have only one result. End of krogan. Goal of genophage is population stability. Not sterility."

"But look at what it's done to their society." Kara said.

"Krogan always violent. Reason why they were uplifted to fight rachni. Krogan current behavior simply a continuation of species behavior patterns. Tuchanka's destruction predates contact."

"They were uplifted before they were ready. Of course they roam the galaxy as mercs and pirates. They have nothing to live for."

They continued back and forth, repeating the same arguments. She did get some more information from him, that STG regularly sent infiltration teams to monitor the krogan and he had a brilliant STG colleague named Maelon. But neither would listen to the other's reasoning, though hers was more emotional than logical. In the end, Kara had to excuse herself. _Agreeing to disagree._ Now that she knew just what her salarian crew member had been hiding, her feelings towards him were even more ambivalent. The argument, and her coffee, had the effect of winding her up. She had a hard time getting to sleep. When she did sleep, nightmares soon woke her.

* * *

Aria's past fury seemed forgotten. They landed on Omega without incident, though the docking fee was exorbitant even by Terminus standards, which was perhaps sign Aria's wrath wasn't completely abated. She gave the crew 10 hours of shore leave before heading by the Citadel. They'd earned some down time, she had a feeling they wouldn't get much down time on the Citadel.

They all went their separate ways, though Joker and Mordin volunteered to stay with the ship, the latter out of safety, the local mercs still had it out for him. Ashley went with Garrus to go shopping for weapon mods. She would join them once she was done with Locke. Kara was interested in finding a stability mod for her Revenant rifle. Even using short bursts, the kickback was significant and her accuracy was still a source of mockery. But she loved the visceral power of the weapon and didn't want to be parted from it. Maybe it made sense to go for something lighter, but she was determined to find a way to work with the Revenant.

"Listen, thanks for saving me, Shepard." Locke said. "Most Alliance would've just shot me or shipped me to the Alliance in a brig. I owe you. Big time. I don't know why you're interested in old Prothean ruins, but if I find anything out, I'll let you know. "

"Thanks, I appreciate it." They shook hands before parting, Locke walking to the local Blue Suns chapter. She decided to head towards the market area. She was about to contact Ashley on her Omni-Tool when someone flagged her.

"Oh my God! Commander Shepard!" Someone shouted at her. She turned around to the sound of the voice. She saw a woman coming towards her, wearing a rather revealing white dress. She had long dark hair and lightly coloured eyes. Behind her she was trailing a camera drone.

"Hi, I'm Diane Allers, reporter for Citadel News Net." She introduced herself. Kara found it odd that someone from CNN was in Omega of all places. Her dress certainly didn't look like something a professional reporter would wear. Then again, Emily Wong didn't dress modestly herself.

"Nice to meet you." Kara said evenly, trying to hide her dread at having to give another interview. Hopefully, she wouldn't be as annoying as Al-Jilani.

"Could I ask you some questions?" The reporter asked.

"You just did." Kara said with an evident lack of enthusiasm.

Allers activated her omni-tool, either ignoring or pretending to ignore her lack of enthusiasm. The camera drone's light activated, it was extremely bright, far brighter than any camera drone she'd ever seen. Maybe it was a new model. She squinted to keep herself from being blinded. Squinting didn't help much.

"So, Commander Shepard, what are you doing in Omega?" Allers said.

"I'm on vacation." She said.

"Come on. Our audience expects you to be on a mission, can you give us any details?" Allers said.

"No, it's classified." Kara said, trying to hide her annoyance.

"That's not the answer I was looking for." Allers said, a strange change in her tone. Kara heard a popping sound, like compressed air being let out of something. She felt a strange, prickly sensation on her neck. She instinctively scratched her neck and felt herself becoming drowsy, her head heavy. Her fingers felt something sharp protruding from her neck, but she was too drowsy and her fingers too numb to make sense of it. The ground rushed towards her as her eyesight faded into blackness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

She awoke feeling groggy and disoriented. The lights were bright, almost blindingly so. She was lying on a rough bed. She looked around her. She was in an isolation cell, a dozen feet wide and in length. She had only a bed and a small toilet in her cell, there was no hope of privacy. Lights were brightly lit and dome cameras hung from the grey ceiling. She didn't need to stretch out her hand to know there was a barrier keeping her trapped. Beyond the barrier was a large empty chamber, with only a chair for adornment.

This room reminded her of the dozens of cells where Cerberus ran their experiments. She sat up and saw a food tray at the foot of the bed. The food didn't look appetizing, three plates holding congealed gels of various colours. There was a gelatinous bag filled with a clear liquid, possibly water. She didn't think it was possible to find something that looked less like food than military rations, but she was clearly wrong.

A door opened. In walked a woman holding a datapad in one hand. Despite her imprisoned state, Kara found it difficult to ignore how attractive she was. Her body was nimble, raven haired and piercing blue eyes. She was wearing a form fitting outfit. Though as she neared, Kara found something uncanny about her features, but she couldn't discern precisely what. It was like she was _too_ perfect. The woman sat down in the chair. Kara stood and faced her. The two women stared at another. The woman's look was inquisitive but hard, in contrast to the soft features of her face. Finally, she spoke with an Australian accent.

"Hello Shepard. My name is Miranda Lawson."

"Where am I?" Kara asked.

"You're in a Cerberus facility. No harm will come to you, I simply wish to talk."

"Give me a gun and I'll be in a mood to talk." Kara said.

"That's not going to happen. Not until we can trust you at least." She said.

What was this about trust? They could've easily killed her. There was something they wanted from her.

"Why are you keeping me here?" Kara asked.

"Like I said, we wish to talk." Miranda said evenly. She remained perfectly still in her chair, holding a firm but comfortable posture. She didn't avoid Kara's gaze, and she could gleam nothing from her eyes. She was no amateur. This Miranda was clearly someone used to, and very good at, hiding her emotions. She wondered where this came from. Was this taught or learned behaviour?

"How long have I been here?" Kara said.

"Two days." Miranda said. "We're quite safe from your Alliance friends. They'll never find you. The only way out is through cooperation, or death."

"What do you consider cooperation?" Kara asked.

"Let's start small. I think you would be open to an even exchange. Information for information."

"Okay." Kara said. "Why are you interested in Prothean ruins?"

A casual observer would've missed it, but a flicker went through Miranda's eyes.

"Simple." Miranda said. "We want to advance humanity. One way is through researching prothean artifacts. If Cerberus were to make a breakthrough, to succeed where centuries of turians, asari and salarians had fumbled and failed, that would be great for humanity."

"And for you." Kara said.

"Of course." Miranda said. "Now, my turn. Why were you in the Terminus systems?"

"It's classified." Kara said.

"Of course it is. I answered your question. Answer mine." Miranda said without missing a beat.

"Investigating leads for more of Saren's geth."

"So why were you nowhere near the Perseus Veil? If you're investigating geth, surely that's the best place to be." Miranda leaned forward. "Maybe, you're looking for the same thing we are: Ways to fight the Reapers."

"Reapers? What are those?" Kara asked, even she knew her skeptical facade wasn't convincing.

Miranda leaned back. "Don't be coy, it doesn't suit you. You stopped Sovereign and Saren, but we don't know if there are more hiding like Sovereign, or if the Reapers have alternate plans to invade our galaxy."

"How do you know that?" Kara asked.

"We have our sources." Miranda said with unmasked smugness. Her attitude on top of the intelligence leak was like salt on a wound.

"You see?" Miranda said. "We don't have to agree on everything, but in this we have a common goal. We want you to work with us."

Despite her feeble strength, Kara bellowed laughter. At first, her laughter was amused but it quickly took on a bitter tone.

"After all you put me through on Akuze, all your horrible experiments, assassinating a goddamn Admiral, you want me to work for you? I'd rather die first."

Miranda breathed in deeply. "We anticipated you would be hostile. I'll remind you we have a common foe and a common goal. We can put aside minor disagreements and focus on the task at hand."

"Leaving a trail of dead bodies is not a minor disagreement!" She thundered.

Miranda seemed to decide that was enough for the day. "We have some informative materials that may broaden your horizons and change your mind."

Miranda stood and walked towards the barrier. She activated her Omni-Tool and a small gap appeared. She passed the datapad through the barrier, it landed on the cold ground with a flat thunk. Kara didn't bother looking at the datapad. She thought about rushing towards her, but she still felt weak and wouldn't make it before Miranda would close the gap in the barrier. _Later._ She thought, hoping her strength would return to her.

"We have provided you with food. I suggest you eat to regain your strength. I look forward to speaking with you again." Miranda said, retreating from the room.

"I've smelled better things coming from a Varren's asshole." If her retort had any effect, Miranda didn't show it, casually closing the door behind her.

* * *

Despite her misgivings, and as much to relieve boredom as to relieve hunger, Kara did eat. It tasted oddly sweet and it reminded her of pudding or yogurt in its texture. It was at least better than military rations, but not by much. She did feel better and stronger. She paced the length of her cell, probing ever inch of the floor, every pillar, looking for some kind of structural weakness. She could find none. The floor was cold steel and the pillars were welded into both the floor and the ceiling. Even standing on the bed, the ceiling was out of reach, and it was as flat and featureless as the floor. There was no way out of here.

The toilet was a standard air suction type common on most lower grade spaceships. It was solidly welded to the floor. The cameras were positioned throughout the chamber, leaving no blind spots. Her attention then changed to the datapad. It was a standard datapad, though most of the functions were restricted. The wireless adapter had not just been disabled by physically removed, making connecting to any kind of network impossible. Even the clock and calendar were disabled. It was a read only device, loaded with Cerberus propaganda and nothing else. Out of as much boredom and curiosity, she started watching.

She found exercise another way to pass the time, she ran, basic calisthenics and yoga. She had much time to herself, and to think. she had much time to think. She worried about the Reapers. Every hour she spent in this prison was an hour wasted. How close was the Normandy to finding her? She had no doubt that Ashley and her crew were like bloodhounds on her trail. Her heart softened when she thought of Ashley. _When I see you again, I will tell you how I feel about you._ She had many things to focus on, factors to motivate her to continue to struggle, Ashley was one of the strongest, second only in her desire to eliminate the Reaper threat. But she also thought of Kaidan, of those who'd died under her command. _Dead Shep._ Her only surcease from her anxieties was thinking of Ashley and her friends on the Normandy. She had to, lest she succumb to despair.

* * *

Kara found it disturbing that she was looking forward to Miranda's visits. It wasn't because she enjoyed the company, the opposite was true, but because she was bored. Arguing with Miranda gave her a form of mental stimulation and social interaction she needed badly. When they talked about the Reapers, Kara gleamed that Cerberus was as in the dark as everyone else. They weren't trading information so much as trading conjecture and speculation.

The datapad filled with Cerberus propaganda was risible, but she was starting to enjoy going through it so she could mock it. Despite her mockery, she could see the appeal. They were appealing to humans in the Terminus systems who felt powerless against hostile aliens and the ambitious who wanted to do something with their lives. She realized she'd dismissed them as just some other terrorist group, but there was a sophistication to this propaganda that belied what she'd witnessed from them before. That was the downside of operating in separate cells.

"Hello, Shepard." Miranda said, almost casually to her as she sat down in her habitual chair. Five days of this. She suspected it was at the same time every day, but she had no way of knowing. She assumed it was five because she'd gone to sleep when the lights went out, awakened five times with the lights on, each time with a new food tray in her cell and five times she'd spoken with Miranda. Miranda continued to dress provocatively, Kara was wondering if this was some tactic designed to wear her down. _Sorry sugar, it takes more than a flash of cleavage to get to me_.

"Hello again." Kara sat down on her bed, facing her inquisitor.

"Have you thought about what we discussed yesterday?" Miranda said.

"Yes. I've wondered about how you justify the things Cerberus has done." Kara said.

"I've told you, those weren't Cerberus. They were rogue cells." Miranda said with irritation.

"You seem to have a lot of rogue cells." Kara said.

"Cerberus cells operate independently to best maintain initiative, security and independence. Those experiments got out of hand because of bad leadership in those cells, nothing more."

"Thanks for the intel." Kara said.

Miranda frowned and stared darkly at her. Any pretense of professionalism or friendliness were gone. The more times they talked, the more she was able to poke holes in Miranda's impervious facade. "We've noticed during your sleep you frequently mention the name of Lt. Ashley Williams, one of your crew mates. Is she a source of unrequited affection? How very charming, in a juvenile sort of way. Do you really think an exceptional woman like her would want anything to do with you? A faithless, unqualified, drug addict."

Kara picked up the datapad and threw it in Miranda's direction. It bounced off the barrier and landed on the floor. The cracking sound indicated she'd shattered the screen. "You know what's juvenile? This Cerberus Plan 9 From Outer Space bullshit you loaded onto that."

Miranda continued. "And there's the other name you call out in your sleep. Kaidan Alenko. Do you feel guilty over his death? What is it they call you? Dead Shep?" She chuckled. "There's another soldier you killed. I've studied the AA reports from Virmire, I could've easily accomplished that mission without nuking a squad member."

Kara glared at her.

"We don't have to do it this way, Shepard." Miranda said, she took a breath and tried to regain her composure. "We have your genetic material on file now. We could get rid of you and clone you. Your clone would be more willing to work with us."

"You're joking. Cloning? What's next, bringing someone back from the dead?" Kara said.

"We've...had some success in cloning." Miranda said, there was an odd catch in her voice, the smugness was gone. She oozed confidence when she talked of Cerberus' success. But suddenly she looked vulnerable, human. Blinded by her hatred, Kara saw this only as a weakness to be exploited.

"Some success?" Kara said. "Is Cerberus' favourite stripper some pervert's designer baby?" Miranda bolted up, kicking the chair away. She stared at Kara, her blue eyes staring daggers at her. But behind those eyes, Kara saw echoes of pain, blinded by her hatred and confinement, she sought to exacerbate the pain rather than assuage it. "Aww, have I hit close to home?" She said mockingly.

"Fuck you." Miranda said. There was as much hurt as anger in her curse. She turned around and stormed out of the chamber.

* * *

When she awoke the next 'day', Kara didn't find a fresh food tray, her old one was still there. She was given neither food nor Miranda's visit. Time passed with imperceptible, agonizing sloth.

Then, the noise started. It startled her so much that she jumped. It was a loud, heavily distorted, pulsating chime. So loud that the ground shook with each deafening pulse. She cupped her hands against her ears but it did little to diminish the overwhelming volume of the noise. She jumped on the bed and buried her head beneath her pillow but it also had little effect. Her ears exploded, she screamed but couldn't hear herself scream. She pulled the pillow away, she tore strips off the pillowcase. Wrapping the torn cloth into small balls she shoved them in her ears. It was small relief, but better than none.

She curled up in a ball in one corner, leaning against one of the support pillars. She closed her eyes and tried to think about... anything. But the noise was so overwhelming she could think of nothing. She leapt up and threw herself at the barrier. She bounced right back like she was a ball and fell on her back. Tears slid down her face. She placed her hands against her ears, pressing hard, hoping in vain it would diminish the excruciating volume of the infernal noise. But it didn't. She stared at the bland ceiling. She pleaded, begged for the noise to stop. But it didn't. _Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopchristmakeitfuckingstoppleasemakeitstop!_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

She cried out in relief when the noise stopped. It stopped so suddenly they thought she was hallucinating. The beeping continued to echo within her mind, her ears continued to ring. She barely heard her own breathing, but she felt her heart beating. Lying on the bed, tangled within sweat soaked bedsheets, she dared remove her makeshift ear plugs, stained thickly with blood. A piercing ringing sound arrived within her ears, like her earlobes had been stabbed with a needle. But this was a relief compared to the torment of the previous days. Had it been days? Hours? Weeks?

Her bed was drenched in sweat and her mouth was parched dry. She tried to swallow but her aching throat swallowed only air. Her arid tongue explored her own mouth, finding not even a hint of moisture. Her skin paled, and her body trembled. She was numbed by hunger and thirst, even the relative silence was achromatic and coarse. She'd never felt this thirsty before. They must've increased the temperature in her room to worsen her treatment. She had no doubt this torture was Miranda exacting a small amount of personal revenge. _But I found her weak spot. And look where it's gotten me. I dare you to come in here again, Miranda.  
_

She heard footsteps approaching her cell. She turned to see a man walking towards her cell, he was wearing a non-descript formal outfit and was carrying a food tray in his hands. His outfit was in drab contrast to what she'd seen Miranda and Allers wear. She pivoted to face him, but tangled in her bedsheets she fell to the floor. She crawled towards him as he opened a gap in the barrier and deposited the tray. He avoided looking at her.

Kara ignored him, her hands reached for the water bottle. Feverishly gripping it in her hands she downed the entire contents in one gulp. Her body trembled rapturously as she drank the divine liquid. She then devoured the food. _Slow down._ A voice from within was telling her, but she was ignoring it, she couldn't help herself. Her thirst and hunger were too much. It reminded her of being on the street, where her craving for a high overrode everything else. Her stomach started to grumble and it wasn't long before it rejected what it so desperately needed. She didn't make it to the toilet in time, puddles of her puke lying on the ground. _How many times do you have to keep learning the same lesson?  
_

She did her best to clean the mess, ripping more sheets to soak up the vomit. She breathed through her mouth to avoid smelling it. She received a second meal what she assumed was a few hours later. She needed to escape, but first she had to regain her strength. Seeing him she reached for the tray she'd received earlier. This was the first time she'd been awake for a meal delivery. He approached the barrier. She didn't see any concern in his eyes.

"How about we trade?" Kara said.

He said something but she didn't hear him.

"What?" She said.

He rolled his eyes. "Back away, first." He said, loud enough she could hear him.

Kara did so. Just then the ground shook and an alarm sounded. He was off balance and distracted. Kara rushed towards him. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her. He stopped as his face hit the barrier. He cried as the heat from the barrier burned his flesh. Kara ignored this, focusing on his Omni-Tool. Despite the tug of war, she found the controls to deactivate the barrier. The barrier deactivated he fell towards her. Kara side stopped him as he tumbled on the ground, the gelatinous food exploding underneath him. She slammed the food tray on his head several times. He stopped moving. The tray was heavily bent and dented.

"Warning. Containment Breach. Subject Zero has escaped. This is not a drill. Enact containment procedures. Repeat. Subject Zero has escaped. This is not a drill..." The intercom chimed in between alarm bells.

 _I can't be Subject Zero,_ she thought, _the alarm went off first. Who or what is this Subject Zero?_ She took the guard's night stick and Omni-Tool and opened a map. This was a large facility, several thousand square feet, filled with small cells like hers. _A prison. Or worse._ She plotted a course towards the shuttle bay. Her only chance was to make a break for it while the base was distracted by whatever Subject Zero was.

She activated the night stick's small eezo core. It hummed and buzzed in her hand, promising to deliver extra force to anyone she hit with it. She peered out of her cell. She was high on adrenaline still, but her soldier's instincts and training remained. _Don't be too eager to stick your head out. Watch those corners_. Her mind reeled these instructions off like she was back in basic. She had to keep focused. There would be time for...other thoughts later.

The corridor was empty but it was filled with dozens of doors like the ones she'd just emerged from. She grinned as an idea came to her. _Time for mass prison break._ With her Omni-Tool she tried to unlock all the cells in her block, but she was locked out. "Unable to process command while containment procedures are in effect." The Tool's VI said. Kara cursed and made her way towards the cell block door. _If the individual cells are locked, the cell block's probably locked too_. Her bare feet made no sound on the concrete floor.

She was coming to a T-junction, ahead of her was the cell block door. As she neared the corner she heard footsteps coming the other way. And someone whistling. She hugged the wall and held her breath as the steps neared. They were slow, calm, methodical. It seemed to take forever for the guard to appear in her sights. He didn't have a chance as Kara stabbed him with the night stick. The force and the active mass effect field sent him crashing into the opposite wall. She ran to him and pressed the length of the nightstick against his throat. His deep set brown eyes were wide with fear and pain.

"Open the cell block door and don't try any funny shit." She said.

The guard nodded slightly. "I need to call it in." He said in between groans of pain. She barely heard him.

"Do it." Kara said.

"Hey, control. This is Demers." He said. "I need you to unlock the gate to Cell Block A."

"What the fuck, man?" Came another voice over the comms. "Five tons of shit is hitting the fucking fan and you want me to open a gate?"

"Just do it." Demers barked. "I gotta piss like a motherfucker and there's jack shit happening here."

"Fine. Your funeral if Lawson finds out." Kara heard a buzz as the cell block door was unlock.

"Thanks." Kara said before hitting Demers in the head with the stick, knocking him out.

She went through the gate and looked at the map. This corridor connected all the various cell blocks. The shuttle bay was connected with the administrative wing which was further north. The cell block with the breach was F, to the south. She looked to the south, dozens of armed and armoured guards were filing into the block. They were all heavily armed with shotguns and assault rifles. Even a few automated mechs were with them. Whatever this Subject Zero was, it was evidently quite dangerous. She had a good distraction. She just had to get from here to the admin wing. From there to the shuttlebay. And then, freedom. Rejoining the Normandy. _And Ashley._

Hugging the walls, her nightstick ready, she made her way towards the administrative wing. There was another gate she'd have to make it through. _Shit. I'm only thinking one move ahead. But how else can I think right now?_ She was improvising. _I'm playing the notes that aren't there._

A thundering explosion shook the ground and she fell to the floor. She looked behind her. The soldiers and mechs had all been thrown against the wall. Not just thrown, it was like a giant sledgehammer had been swung, the wall behind them had been several holes, the cracked ceiling above them trickling debris. Then, the unconscious soldiers were all assailed by automatic fire from an assault rifle. The fire was an unending barrage, the bullets landing all over the place, some hitting the guards and mechs, most missing. _Whoever's escaping isn't a soldier, that's for sure._

A figure emerged from the carnage. The figure was human, thin and wiry, a shaved head, wearing the same dull prison clothes she was wearing. Kara stood up. "Hey." Kara called out, her voice strained but she made herself heard. The figure turned to towards her. "You up for a prison break?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely." The figure called back. _Is that a woman?_ The figure went towards one of the fallen soldiers and picked up another rifle and ran towards her. As the figure neared Kara could see it was a woman, decked in tattoos with a shaved head. She hardly looked feminine at all. She handed Kara the shotgun. She did her best to ignore that it was covered in blood.

"Name's Jack." She said. "You look like shit."

"Thanks. You look good, too. Name's Shepard." Kara said.

Jack snickered. "Shepard? You some kind of army brat?"

"Something like that." Kara said. "We need to go through the admin wing up there. From there, there's a shuttle bay."

"I hope we can find cheerleader before we go." Jack said as they started making their way towards the exit.

"Who's cheerleader?" Kara asked.

"She's the cunt who runs this place." Jack said. "She looks like what happens when a krogan and turian decide to fuck and have kids. I'd like some one-on-one time."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind that, either." Kara said. Jack gave her a knowing smile.

Another concussive explosion shook the ground. "Security breach in the shuttle bay. Repeat. Security breach in the shuttle bay." The intercom buzzed.

Kara's heart leapt. _It's the Normandy. It has to be._

"Looks like we picked the right time to bust this joint." Jack said. They came to the gate which led into the administrative wing. Kara's Omni-Tool read it was locked and couldn't unlock it.

"I'll handle it." Jack said. Jack's body began to glow with blue biotic energy. _There's no way biotics can open this gate._ The glow around her grew in brightness and power. Kara felt a tremor beneath her feet. Jack's body became enveloped in sinuous waves of biotic energy. She screamed and pushed her hands towards the gate. A thick biotic wave rushed towards the gate. Kara ducked and shielded her eyes as she was blinded by the explosion of the barrier and the biotic wave colliding, the explosion deafened her. Debris blew past her, dust trickled onto her. She dared opened her eyes. The gate had been obliterated, like a speeding cargo train has plowed into it and kept going. _Holy shit._

"Let's go." Jack said.

Kara collected herself and ran through the gate. She was still running on adrenaline, but she could feel exhaustion creeping in. _We need to get out of here soon._

The admin wing was a long corridor lined with closed offices. Kara hoped these doors remained locked, this was a perfect spot to setup an ambush.

"The Administrative Wing has been breached. Repeat. The admin wing has been breached. Activate all mechs. Activate all mechs." The intercom announced. Kara wondered how many guards this prison had. There couldn't be too many, but everything seemed to be converging towards the shuttle bay.

They neared a four-way junction when a half dozen Loki mechs stumbled into view. Kara sprawled and fired with her shotgun. Jack sent a biotic wave towards them which swept the mechs off their feet and slammed into the wall. They broke apart in dozens of sputtering pieces. Behind the fallen mechs emerged a human male. He looked Asian, with dozens of cybernetic implants woven into his flesh, including an embedded visor covering his eyes.

"Now, it's fun." He said with darkened glee. He reached behind and pulled out a sword and started to wave it around in the air, showing impressive agility with the weapon. It coursed with biotic luminosity. Jack opened a singularity behind him. The man levitated helplessly in the air, manically waving his arms and legs. Jack and Shepard opened fire on the helpless Cerberus operative, killing him. His body fell with a dull thump on the ground.

"Who the hell was that?" Shepard asked.

"I dunno. Some douchebag." Jack shrugged.

"Let's go." Kara said, leading her towards the shuttle bay. They neared the control room. From there, it led to an airlock and then to the shuttlebay itself. They could heard the sounds of battle, gunfire, biotic explosions, shouted orders, cries of agony. As they neared they recognized one of the voices. Miranda's. Hugging the wall they came to the entrance to the control room.

"Keep up the suppressing fire, damn!" She said. "Kai Leng? What's your status?" Silence. "Kai Leng? Come in. Shit!" They couldn't suppress a smile as she cursed in frustration. Miranda's cries of fear and frustration mingled with the other sounds of combat.

Shepard looked to Jack who nodded. Jack erected a barrier around them. Kara rushed in. Miranda was looking in their direction. The two women rushed towards her. Miranda raised her pistol but she was too slow to react. Kara shoved the butt of her shotgun into Miranda's face. The rifle hit with an extremely satisfying crunch. The blow knocked her unconscious, and she fell to the ground, blood pouring from her broken nose. Jack and Kara then fired on the four remaining Cerberus troops who didn't know what hit them.

Jack turned her rifle on Miranda's prone, unconscious body. Kara rushed towards her and knocked the rifle out of her hand. Jack's eyes turned murderously upon her and seemed to bare her teeth, like a wolf about to pounce upon prey.

"We need her alive." Shepard said.

"Fuck that." Jack said.

Shepard said. "We need to find out more about Cerberus so we can wipe them out. They're gonna pay for what they've done. She's the key to doing that."

Jack continued to stare at her, but she backed away. She threw her hands up in frustration, but she'd been pacified. Shepard then turned her attention towards the shuttle bay. There were a few docked shuttles, but docked at the end of the bay was a ship took that her breath away. _The Normandy._ She turned towards where the Cerberus guards had been firing. She heard voices.

"They've stopped firing." That was Garrus.

"Tali. Send a drone to check it out." That was Ashley. Ashley!

"Ashley!" Kara shouted out, one last shot of adrenaline coursing through her tired veins. Though her voice was strained, she managed to shout a single word. "Ashley!"

"Kara!" Ashley shouted back. Kara stepped into the shuttle bay.

"Commander!" "Shepard!" A dozen armed shipmates came into view. Then her friends. Garrus. Tali. Liara. Leading them was Ashley. She felt weakness in her knees but ran towards her friend. Her shipmate. Her...

Kara wrapped her arms around Ashley as her knees collapsed. Flooded with a thousand emotions and so much she wanted to say, she found she could say nothing. Ashley held her close, despite the awkwardness of the combat armour and the smoking shotgun in her hand.

"It's okay, Kara." Ashley said. "You're safe now. You're safe."

Yes, she was safe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Commander, you've been through a lot." Dr. Chakwas said.

Kara was sitting on the bed in the medical bay, a familiar place for her to be. She was sucking on a contained filled with a transparent liquid, a solution designed to re-hydrate and feed her. Ashley was sitting next to her, her hand on Kara's shoulder. The rest of her friends were gathered in the medical bay, Garrus, Joker, Tali, Liara, and Traynor looking upon her with clear relief. The solution was helping her, but the absence of adrenaline laid bare how exhausted she was.

"Dehydration, starvation, sleep deprivation, hearing damage. I'd also like to examine your mental state at some point. My prescription is simple, bed rest. And no loud sounds. That means no guitar playing, for two days."

"I'm sorry, doc. Can you say that again?" Dr. Chakwas glared at her. Kara nodded and raised her hand in surrender. Bed rest. They still had a mission, but the crew were more than capable of handling it while she recovered. She'd just seen proof of it.

"What's going to happen with the other prisoners?" Kara asked.

Her crew exchanged nervous looks.

"What?" Kara said.

"There are no other prisoners." Liara said. "At least-"

"I suggest we not bombard the Commander with mission details for the moment." Dr. Chakwas interrupted.

"Right." Ashley said. "Except for one thing. That woman you escaped with, Jack? She wants to come aboard, says you're going to take out Cerberus together."

"She can stay. I'll chat with her...when I'm feeling better." Kara said. "Fuck, I could use some coffee right now."

"I thought you would mention that." Traynor said and came forward with a steaming mug of Duncan Hills coffee. Kara accepted the mug like it was a divine offering, cradling it with both hands, though it was because the mug felt so heavy in her weakened hands. The doctor frowned disapprovingly but said nothing to object, knowing they were worse things she could inject in her body. Kara sipped from the mug and loosed a sigh of relief, she could feel the warm nectar spreading through her veins. She'd missed coffee. She'd missed a lot of things.

"I think you all have duties to attend to." Dr. Chakwas said. "Let's let the Commander have some rest."

Her friends departed one by one, each expressing their gratitude that she was back. All left, except Ashley. They said nothing, and Kara found it difficult to meet her friend's eyes. Ashley's hand remained on her shoulder, her fingers gently rubbing her sore back. She felt nervous, a strange feeling in her stomach. _I guess this is what kids talk about, what it feels like to be in love. Is that what this is?_

"What long was I gone for?" Kara asked finally.

"Eight days." Ashley said, there was something her voice, a strange tone that she'd never heard from her before.

"Jesus Christ. Felt like eight years." Kara said, sipping more coffee, staring at the floor. Ashley opened her mouth as if she were about to ask something, but decided against it. Kara felt like saying something, but still felt weak. _I will tell you, Ash. Some day. But not today._

"I'd like to get to my quarters." Kara said. After sipping more coffee. Ashley stood up, she took the mug of coffee and the container of solution in her hands. She looked at Kara with concern. Kara slid forward, very much aware of how weakened she was. Her feet touched the ground and felt like jelly. Gently she pushed herself forward onto her feet. She put her arm around Ashley's waist to steady her.

"You good, skip?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." Kara said.

They remained silent as they made their way towards her quarters. Her steps were tenuous. But the carpeted floor of the Normandy was a nice counterpoint to the cold steel floor of the Cerberus prison. It was a great relief to see her own quarters. Her own bed, her own desk, her guitar. She stood on her own as Ashley placed her drinks on her bedside table. Ashley stopped and looked at her, a strange look in her glittering eyes.

"Thank you, Ash." Kara said and cursed herself for how silly she sounded.

"Don't mention it, skip." Ash said.

"How did you find me?" Kara asked.

Ash looked away from her. She said nothing. Kara repeated the question.

"I used that comm device you showed me."

"The Shadow Broker?" Kara said in alarm. Ashley nodded, still avoiding Kara's eyes.

"But you know this will cost us. Weren't you thinking of that?" Kara said, suddenly angry.

"Yes, I was." Ashley said, now meeting Kara's eyes. They were burning with a fire she'd never seen. Her body and voice were trembling. "We had seven days searching for you where we found nothing. Seven days of the Council being on my ass. Seven days that the Reapers come closer. And then, I contacted the Broker and he told me exactly where to find you. I know there's a price. And I'd pay it a thousand times because of our mission, because of how important you are to the mission...and because of how important you are to me."

Kara stopped herself and was speechless. Her chest tightened. "What?" She said, her voice weak and hoarse. Ashley took in a deep breath and stepped towards her. And spoke:

 _My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;_  
 _Coral is far more red than her lips' red;_  
 _If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;_  
 _If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head._  
 _I have seen roses damasked, red and white,_  
 _But no such roses see I in her cheeks;_  
 _And in some perfumes is there more delight_  
 _Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks._  
 _I love to hear her speak, yet well I know_  
 _That music hath a far more pleasing sound;_  
 _I grant I never saw a goddess go;_  
 _My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground._  
 _And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare_  
 _As any she belied with false compare._

Kara was paralyzed, unable to move or say anything. She didn't have to. Ashley's hands touched her waist, a gentle, cradling touch. Their eyes met, and Kara couldn't, wouldn't look away. It was only when Ashley's lips touched hers that Kara broke from her paralysis. They kissed and embraced passionately. Kara no longer feeling tired or weak but alive and strong. Like a powerful elixir had been injected into her bloodstream. Ashley's lips tasted sweet and her touch was like fire. She felt alive, happy. And safe. Oh, so very safe now.

* * *

She slowly awoke. Slowly aware of a lone finger gently caressing the length of her spine, her thighs, her breasts, her face. And a warm, beautiful voice whispering to her:

 _If I were a cinnamon peeler_  
 _I would ride your bed_  
 _And leave the yellow bark dust_  
 _On your pillow._

 _Your breasts and shoulders would reek_  
 _You could never walk through markets_  
 _without the profession of my fingers_  
 _floating over you. The blind would_  
 _stumble certain of whom they approached_  
 _though you might bathe_  
 _under rain gutters, monsoon._

 _Here on the upper thigh_  
 _at this smooth pasture_  
 _neighbour to you hair_  
 _or the crease_  
 _that cuts your back. This ankle._  
 _You will be known among strangers_  
 _as the cinnamon peeler's wife._

 _I could hardly glance at you_  
 _before marriage_  
 _never touch you_  
 _-your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers._  
 _I buried my hands_  
 _in saffron, disguised them_  
 _over smoking tar,_  
 _helped the honey gatherers..._

 _When we swam once_  
 _I touched you in the water_  
 _and our bodies remained free,_  
 _you could hold me and be blind of smell._  
 _you climbed the bank and said_

 _this is how you touch other women_  
 _the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter._  
 _And you searched your arms_  
 _for the missing perfume_  
 _and knew_

 _what good is it_  
 _to be the lime burner's daughter_  
 _left with no trace_  
 _as if not spoken to in the act of love_  
 _as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar._

 _You touched_  
 _your belly to my hands_  
 _in the dry air and said_  
 _I am the cinnamon_  
 _Peeler's wife. Smell me._

Kara didn't open her eyes but kissed Ashley when she finished reciting the poem, caressing her lover's fine face. This was far beyond anything she'd experienced before. This wasn't just another casual fling. This was something more, deeper. But just what it was, she didn't know. Kara opened her eyes, her eyes staring deep into her lover's. Their naked bodies comfortably entwined. Kara never wanted to leave this place, this moment, wanting to relieve it for the rest of their lives.

"Good morning." Ashley said with a smile after their kissing subsided.

"A very good morning to you." Kara said, chuckling, giving her another quick kiss. They stared into another's eyes.

"I'm not complaining, Ash, but... I didn't think you were into girls." Kara said.

Ashley said nothing for a few moments, a pensive look going through her eyes. "I'm not." She said finally. "Just you. All this time I was looking for a man who was strong and sensitive. I didn't know to look for that in a woman."

Kara's heart melted and they shared another deep kiss.

"You've changed me so much, Kara." Ash said, her voice still brimming with emotion. "I didn't realize it until I started talking to Taylor. I used to be like him. But you taught me to move beyond that. To see the light. To open my heart...Those days without you were the worst days of my life."

Passions alighted anew and they were about to make love again when Ashley's Omni-Tool buzzed annoying. They tried to ignore it, but it keeping buzzing and eventually they pulled apart.

"Shit." Ashley cursed, looking at her Omni-Tool. "I'm late for my shift."

"Forget it." Kara said.

"I can't." Ash said forlornly.

"You're forgetting," Kara said with a mischievous grin, "It's been nine days since I've had a shower. And I think I could definitely still use your help with that." They kissed again, Ashley's weak resistance melting away. "If someone complains, they'll have to go up the chain of command. Oh, that's right, that's me." Kara said as she rose off the bed, holding Ashley's hands and leading her towards her shower.

"Okay," Ash said, "But only because you ordered me."

* * *

They did eventually emerge from her quarters a few hours later. Kara felt almost completely rejuvenated, and wearing her uniform was another tonic as the casual clothes she'd worn in the jail were soiled beyond salvation. Even though she was still supposed to be off duty, She called for a briefing in the conference room, but not before getting herself a cup of coffee. Sitting in the briefing room, she found it hard to keep her eyes off Ashley, who likewise was experiencing the same problem. They sat opposite another, so at least they were avoiding the physical distractions. _It's going to be hard to go back to business as usual. But it's worth it.  
_

"Okay, so what have I missed?" Kara asked.

"Well, while we were searching for you." Traynor said after a silence, "We've had increased reports of Prothean ruins in the Terminus being damaged or destroyed. 23 in all, including the ziggurat we found, all apparently done by the batarian special forces. Dozens of civilians have been killed."

Kara cursed. "Do we know why they're doing this?"

"The batarian government issued a statement 3 days ago saying they had nothing to do with it but the relics weren't a loss because they were, quote, relics of a decadent, extinct species, unquote." Traynor said.

"How many ruins are left in the system?" Kara asked.

"Ten." Traynor said.

"Has there been any increased security around these sites?" Kara asked.

Traynor shook her head. "Most of those sites are on dead celestial bodies."

"Okay. What's our ship status?" Kara said.

"We've been ordered to the Citadel to deliver our two Cerberus prisoners. ETA is 16 hours. The Council also wants to meet with you." Traynor said.

"How are our prisoners doing?" Kara asked.

"The Taylor one keeps to himself but Ashley's had better luck talking to him." Garrus said. "The other has been trying to break free, but we've put a containment field around her to stop her from using her biotics. She won't talk beyond badgering Taylor. We've also had to post a sentry near her."

"What about Jack?" Kara said. The crew exchanged worried glances with another.

"She's hiding under one of the maintenance shafts in engineering." Tali said, her annoyance plain as day.

"She's the reason we have a sentry guarding that Cerberus female. Jack's ready to kill her." Garrus said.

"Yeah, she tends to bring that out in people." Kara said. She caught Ashley flashing a look of concern upon her.

"Did we learn anything from the prison?" Kara asked.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Kara looked at each of their faces. There was muted horror on all of them. Liara finally spoke.

"It was most...disturbing. Many cells were occupied by husk creatures. Some dead. Some, I hesitate to call them alive. Not just humans, asari, krogan, turian, even batarian. It seems they were infected with the Reaper virus we encountered on Omega."

Her soul trembled with the horrifying implications. "How did they get their hands on this?"

"They initiated a datawipe when we landed. We have not been able to recover any data." Tali said.

"What about those people? Who were they?"

"The mutation overwrote the victims' DNA. We may never know who they were. " Liara said.

Kara shook her head, another example of Cerberus' barbarism. How many families would be left wondering for the rest of their lives what happened to their lost kin? What guilt would they feel? How many would refuse move on, holding onto vain hope? They didn't need to know their loved ones had been victims of a horrible experiment, but they deserved at know at least their loved ones were no more. And for what? Did these experiments have any goal beyond a perverse sadism?

"Mordin? Any new data from your studies on the virus?"

"Found biotic and kinetic barriers can resist spores for some time. Spores seem intelligent. Can learn and adapt. Resists all known antibodies. Only extreme heat or cold can kill the spores."

"One more thing." Traynor said after a pregnant silence. "We've been getting strange sensor readings the last 5 days. It looks like normal background radiation, but it's on a specific frequency, and it's been following us."

"Following us?" Kara asked.

"Yes. Always 120 km behind us. We can't make heads or tails of it, but it's definitely not a malfunction." Traynor said.

"Has Joker made any Crazy Ivans?" Kara asked.

"Crazy Ivans?" Traynor said, perplexed.

"Nevermind, bad joke." Kara said and dismissed the meeting.

* * *

She wandered through the Normandy. It was nice to be back aboard with the crew. There was a bounce in her step, she no longer felt tired or burdened. She knew well enough why. Ashley. It was going to be difficult to remain professional . Ashley was performing maintenance on the Mako, it took all of her strength to resist the urge to go down there and make love to her. She'd never felt like this before. It was thrilling and frightening at the same time. But she was no longer afraid. She wouldn't push Ashley away and Ashley wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't leave her. She visited Joker in the cockpit.

"Hey Commander, it's good to have you back. This place wasn't the same without you. Ashley was ready to declare war on the entire galaxy. So was everyone else. She didn't sleep. I don't know how she found that lead, but no one's complaining... I'm also happy about you two, you know?"

Kara thanked him. "What about this thing you've picked up? Any idea what it is?" She said. Joker shook his head. "I've tried turning around and going towards it but it always finds its way behind us." She padded Joker on his shoulder.

She found Traynor diligently working at her station. She didn't see Kara approaching. As Kara neared she heard Traynor humming a song. It sounded oddly familiar, but she couldn't figure out what it was. It wasn't until she was right next to her that Traynor noticed.

"Oh, hi, Commander." She said.

"Just what were you humming?" Kara asked.

"Oh, the Pirates of Penzance." She said. Seeing Kara's frown, she elaborated. "It's Gilbert and Sullivan."

"Oh, I see." Kara said, not trying to hide her distaste.

"Oh, don't be such a snob. They have great tunes!" Samantha said, she gently elbowed Kara's arm.

"If you say so." Kara said. "So, how are things?"

"Well, things are much better now that you're back." Samantha said. She leaned closer to her. "And I'm also happy for you two. Ever since you got back, you have this funny thing on your face."

"What's that?" Kara asked.

"I'm not totally sure, but I think most people call it a smile." Samantha said.

Kara chucked and thanked her. She went below to check in on Mordin. It wasn't until she entered medbay that she recognized what Samantha had been humming. It was the same tune that the Cerberus guard had been whistling.

"Commander. Pleased to see you back on board. Ship was less interesting in your absence. Hope imprisonment not too traumatic." Kara shifted uneasily on her feet and leaned against a bulkhead for support. "Cerberus facility most horrifying."

Kara leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms.

"So if conducting experiments on dozens of individuals is unethical, how does that scale to an entire species?"

Mordin fixed her with his lizard eyes. "Comparison to genophage unfair. Aim of genophage was to stabilize. Not eradicate. Galactic stability was at stake."

"That's exactly how Cerberus justifies it to themselves. The worst atrocities have always been perpetuated by those who were aiming for the greater good."

Mordin shook his head. "Uplifting krogans was a mistake. Genophage an attempt at correcting that mistake."

Kara looked at her salarian crewmate coldly. "That's one hell of a correction." She took a breath. "Look Mordin, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this. You're a member of my crew, and that matters to me."

"Appreciate the sentiment, Commander. No need to worry about my emotions. Salarians process feelings differently than humans. Will remain focused on task at hand. Happy to help."

Speaking with Liara managed to soothe Kara's nerves and mood. Liara was pouring through old troves of Prothean data, as usual. Together they'd found nothing of note to their mission. The archeological community might be hugely impressed by Prothean recipes or funerary incantations, but to their mission they were useless and served only to reinforce how little of any value they'd found.

"How are your energy levels?" Kara asked.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Liara said.

"I've been thinking I'd like an extra biotic for the squad. We have a lot of soldiers and tech specialists. But you're the only biotic and it's not a good idea to have one specialist in a squad like this."

Liara nodded. "Excellent idea. Did you have someone in mind?"

"Actually, I was thinking of Jack." Kara said. She told Liara of the biotics she'd seen Jack unleash.

"It sounds impressive. However, her mental state is most concerning. She has taken to hiding in engineering and speaks with rather appalling levels of profanity. Do you think you can integrate her? Make her a member of our team? Surely, we can find other more suitable biotics."

"If we give her something to focus on, if we treat her with respect, she could become a valued member of the team."

"Assuming she wants to be part of the team. Does she care about anything other than herself? Will she want to stay when she discovers Cerberus are our secondary target?" Liara's blue eyes were as piercing as her question. Kara said nothing.

"Is that not the case?" Liara said.

"You're right, they've always been a secondary target." Kara said. She breathed in deeply. She couldn't, wouldn't, let her personal feelings get in the way. The stakes were inestimably high.

"I can only stress that despite recent, and not so recent events, they remain that way. You cannot forget about the Reapers."

Kara turned away from her asari friend. "I haven't." Kara said. "I just wish we had more to show for all the work we've put in."

Liara placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We have deciphered Prothean language, we have uncovered plans for a weapon that could defeat the Reapers. We know they are coming and stopped their arrival once. We've done plenty, Kara."

Kara turned and faced her friend. "Thank you, Liara." She gave her friend a light hug. After her argument with Mordin, Liara had grounded her, and renewed hope.

She found Garrus in his usual spot, hard at work .

"Still calibrating?" Kara asked.

"Yep." Garrus said. He pulled himself away from the console he was working on. "Nice to have you back."

"It's good to be back." She said, sitting down.

"I guess you took my advice?"

"Kinda." Kara said, chuckling with a big smile on her face.

"Well, seeing as I helped you. I figure you owe me one." Garrus said.

"I wasn't aware we were keeping score?" Kara said.

"A marksman always keeps the score." Garrus said. "You remember Dr. Michel?"

Kara nodded. "Well, our last mail delivery had a box of dextrose chocolates from her. We, eh, have a date, I guess, when we get back to the Citadel." Garrus' hands shook slightly, as if he were nervous.

"Looking for dating tips?" Kara said. Garrus nodded.

"Well, I'm not the best for this." Now Kara was the stumbling one. "Just be yourself. You might want to give her some flowers. Take her out to dinner, go for a walk in one of the arboretums."

"Are these sure-fire human courtship tips you're giving me? Or are you having me on?" Garrus said.

"Well, I'm no marksman," Garrus nodded vigorously at this notion, "But you have to take a shot to hit something. Dr. Michel likes you and I think you two would be kinda cute together."

This silly conversation reminded her of what they were fighting for. The right to have a normal life, freed from the looming shadow of genocide looming over them. They couldn't get too distracted, of course. But how easy would that be? Could she treat Ashley as just another soldier under her command? Could she issue an order which could lead to her death? Or would she hold back, saving her lover but sacrificing the mission? She suddenly understood all too well why fraternization was forbidden.

She wandered down to engineering. She spoke with Tali briefly before searching for Jack. She found Jack in one of the crawlspaces underneath the core. She was using one of their bedrool kits and had a few meal packs scattered around, she was reading from a datapad.

"You took your time getting down here, princess." Jack said. She looked at Kara approaching her. "You still look like shit."

"Thanks." Kara said and sat down a few feet away from Jack. Kara didn't want to get too close to her. "I figure we should have a chat."

"Until we fuck up Cerberus, we don't have anything to talk about." Jack said.

"That's what I wanted to talk about." Kara said. "You're an amazing biotic. Good in a fight. My squad could use another biotic."

"I ain't some fucking army brat." Jack said. "Don't try to make me part of your team. Cerberus need to pay, and I'm gonna make them."

"I want Cerberus to pay too, damnit. But there's something bigger going on." Kara said. Jack fixed Kara with a searching, cold glare.

"Cerberus have used you too, huh?" Jack said. Kara said nothing, but she knew her face gave the answer Jack needed. "Okay, I'll bite. What's so important it makes Cerberus second place?"

Kara told Jack about the Reapers and her life the past few months.

"Shit. If you weren't so damn serious I'd say you were making this up." Jack said. "Tell you what, if you promise me we'll take down Cerberus, I'll hang out with you guys. I love a good fight. And you guys look like you do a lot of fighting."

"If you follow orders, you can stay." Kara said.

"If those orders involve killing, fucking or blowing shit up, I'm game." Jack said. "Just don't expect me to salute or any of that army shit."

"So long as you remember this is the navy not the army, I can live with that." She said and made to leave.

"Yeah, I bet you can." Jack said. Kara sighed.

* * *

After speaking to the entire crew, she was starting to feel tired. It was time to retire, if only for a little nap. She found Ashley in her room. Her duffelbag was on the beg, being unloaded with Ashley's things.

"Well, aren't we being presumptuous?" Kara said, she crossed her arms and pretended to be cross.

"I figured we'd make it official. The whole ship knows. And soon, my family is going to know. I was thinking we could message them together." Ashley said, putting away some undergarments in a previously empty drawer.

"Official? You're just shacking up with the CO. That's all." Kara said, inching her way towards Ash.

"Oh, so that's all it is, is it?" Ash said with a smile. They drifted towards another and kissed passionately. Their hands lingered on the other's waist.

"Okay, I guess we can make it official." Kara said. They shared a happy chuckle after a short kiss. "But only after you go to Dr. Chakwas and get her to prescribe something to stop you snoring."

Ash looked at her crossly. "I. Do. Not. Snore."

"Are you kidding? You're a goddamn Snoreosaurus Rex. I should record you during the night and play it back to you."

Ash's hands began undoing Kara's belt. "If you did that, I don't think snoring is the sound I would be making."

"Maybe you're right." Kara said, they kissed passionately. Kara beginning to disrobe her lover.

"You know I'm old fashioned," Ash said as their clothes started to litter the floor beneath them. "I usually like to go out on a few dates before I sleep with someone. You owe me at least one date."

"Okay," Kara said, removing Ashley's brasserie. "How about we have dinner at that sushi place and then go see the latest Blasto movie? Old fashioned enough?"

"You're so old fashioned." Ash teased, removing the last of Kara's clothes. "I thought you were going to suggest we have some two- on-one time with the Consort."

They laughed and fell on the bed and made love. They remained a small isle of joy and pleasure amidst a vast ocean of despair and doom. The waters ebbed and flowed, the waters kept rising, higher and higher. But they paid no attention to the rising waters. For a time, they had that luxury.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Speaking to Ashley's family was an odd experience. They were happy, but seemingly unsurprised. Like it was something they were expecting. They chatted for some time and when it was over, she realized she felt like she was part of the family, now. It was an amazing feeling. To be part of something. To be accepted. All her life she'd longed for family. She'd found it.

They arrived at the Citadel and were told the Council would meet with her in a few hours. This gave precious time to go out on her first date with Ashley. They went to see the latest Blasto movie. The next Space Mutiny movie was still a few months away from release so this would have to do. Ash and Kara snuggled together, holding hands while they enjoyed the latest silly adventures of the Hanar Spectre. After the movie, they wandered the shops, including a stopover at Kara's favourite store of the Citadel.

"Even with both our salaries we couldn't afford it." Ashley said, remarking up on Kara's coveted guitar. "Maybe if you give them an endorsement, they'll give you a discount." Ash suggested. Kara thought that idea was silly.

After wandering the shops, they found an unoccupied bench and sat by curving river of the Citadel, not far from the Presidium tower. They linked hands and sat together. They would exchange brief, occasional kisses. They said nothing. There was little need to. This was a time they could be a simple couple like any other, freed from the burdens and stresses of their lives. They treasured every moment. But they didn't need to look far for reminders of their peril, the walls and floors of the Citadel were filled with bullet holes and burn marks. The Korgan monument was missing an arm. The plants that weren't charred hadn't yet bloomed. Fewer people seemed to walk the pathways and wander amidst the shops and restaurants.

Shepard's Omni-Tool buzzed. They both cursed and they disengaged themselves from another. Kara felt an anchor of dead weight coil itself around her soul.

"Shepard." It was Anderson. "The Council is ready to see you."

"On my way." She stood, almost reluctantly.

"Hey Kara," Ash said, still sitting, holding onto Kara's hands. "Do you ever make plans?"

"You mean battle plans?" Ashley laughed and shook her head.

"No, silly. I mean, life plans."

Kara shook her head. "I've always lived one day to the next. When you're a junkie, you just care about where you're gonna get your next high. You know, to graduate N7, you have to pass a panel interview of 7 admirals. They grill you for 2, maybe 3 hours while you're standing at attention. I had a pretty good interview. But there was one question where they stumped me. It was 'How does the N7 program fit into your career plan?' A career plan. I always thought it was something office drones had. Not me. Not in the Navy. I joined the Navy because I was sick of the streets. I was sick of being a junkie. I loved the military so I signed up for Officer Training. I did N7 because they recommended me for it, and it looked like a real challenge. I never thought I would become a Spectre. Anyway, I didn't do a good job of bullshitting an answer. But I still graduated."

Ashley stood and nodded. "I was the same way...until now."

Kara and Ashley shared a tight, warm hug. Kara wasn't sure what Ashley was getting at, but she could tell Ash was being heartfelt...about something. They reluctantly pulled apart from another.

"You should go, Skip." Ash said. She patted Kara on her shoulders. "I'll meet you on the ship."

* * *

She met Anderson at the floor of the Presidium. His face wore a grim expression, and whatever euphoria had lingered from her date with Ashley was swiftly slain. Kara knew better than to ask, she would find out soon enough. She walked towards the podium, the four councilors towering above her.

"Commander, we are grateful for your recent efforts." Tevos began. "We are positive they will bear fruit. We are also overjoyed that you have been liberated from your recent imprisonment."

"We have begun construction of the device unearthed in your Martian archives. We expect it to be complete in 2 to 3 months." Sparatus said. "It is being constructed under the code name of Project Future Planning."

"Not exactly descriptive." Shepard said.

"One element of maintaining secrecy is to endow critical projects with banal codenames." The salarian councilor said.

"The Cerberus personnel you have captured are being interrogated by C-Sec and Alliance intelligence." Udina said. "Knowing your personal interest in this, we will keep you abreast of any new developments. Cerberus will answer for this, but we have other priorities."

Shepard nodded. But she realized the thought of getting back at Cerberus filled her with almost as much pleasure as the thought of defeating the Reapers.

"The main reason we have recalled you is to brief you of an alarming development." Tevos said. "Many years ago, the remains of an genetically engineered starship was discovered by the batarians on the planet of Jartar in the Dis system. The remains of that ship were moved by the batarians. Since then, our Intelligence agencies have been unable to discover much of anything about this project beyond its name: the Leviathan of Dis. Our sources in the Hegemony are few, and only the highest levels seem to be aware of this project's existence."

"We have recently learned that this Leviathan of Dis is a Reaper, apparently millions of years old, similar to Sovereign. Further, the project has reached a critical stage as batarians are attempting to reactivate it and close to achieving success."

Kara quietly cursed.

Sparatus now spoke. "Your mission is simple. You are to rendezvous with Captain Kirrahe of STG and go into batarian space and destroy this Leviathan of Dis. It is located on Aratoht in the Bahak system. This deep in batarian space, our only hope is for a small mission utilizing stealth. The batarians will undoubtedly react with some eye towards retribution, but a small raid will constrain their response. "

"When did you learn of this information?" Shepard asked.

"Eleven days ago. Unfortunately, Cerberus' abduction of you has increased our peril. Your recovery coincides with our commission of an STG infiltration unit for the same mission. You will now coordinate this mission with Captain Kirrahe who's ship is on standby, waiting for your rendezvous."

"Do we have any intel?" Shepard asked.

The councilors shook their heads. They didn't inspire her with confidence. Going deep into batarian space on a mission to destroy a Reaper? With no intel? _This is a suicide mission._

"Our analysis of the attack on the Citadel indicate your two ships lake the firepower necessary to destroy the vessel from flight. Your surest strategy would be to detonate a nuclear device placed within the ship's structure."

Udina spoke. "The Normandy is being outfitted with special modifications and upgrades as we speak. A squad of marines are being assigned to you. Captain Anderson will brief you on the details. Do you have any further questions for us?"

"I gather the batarians have been destroying prothean relics in the Terminus. Have you determined a link between these two things?" Shepard asked.

"We have no data to back that assertion," Tevos said. "But we do not believe in coincidences. Perhaps the batarian hierarchy have become indoctrinated, and the destruction carried out is an expression of the Reaper's will."

"I have no further questions. We'll get the job done. And come back."

"Then good luck, Commander." Udina said.

* * *

She turned away and met Anderson. They walked away from the Presidium at a brisk pace, making their way towards the CTR station. Shepard sent a signal for the crew to make their way back to the Normandy. "So, what are the modifications they're talking about?"

"We're installing noisemakers as part of your defensive suit. This will boost the efficacy of your countermeasures. In case your stealth systems fail, or you're discovered, they will jam ladar with white noise."

"Okay. What about these Marines?" She said as she hailed a CTR shuttle.

"Bravo Company of the Damned 33rd."

"First In. Last Out." Kara said, echoing their motto.

Anderson nodded. The shuttle arrived. They walked towards the passenger door.

"I gather you and your new Lieutenant have become close." Anderson said as the door opened.

"Does the whole universe know?" Shepard asked, exasperated.

"No. Only the whole galaxy." Anderson said. Kara chuckled and her frustration eased at his joke.

"Joker keeps me updated on the status of the crew. I'm not a gossip, so your secret is safe with me. For the record, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you." Kara said, seeing the kindly look in his eyes, she saw a side she'd never before seen in her mentor.

"How about you?" Kara said. "Don't you have someone special?"

"I did. Once." Anderson sighed and looked away. "But I'm too old for that."

"You can never be told old." Kara said.

"Well...Maybe you're right." Anderson said, looking at her again. He didn't look so sullen. The shuttle driver honked his horn.

They saluted and Shepard boarded the shuttle. "Give 'em hell." Anderson said. "You know I will." Shepard answered. The shuttle lifted off and took her to the docking bay. She thought of the mission ahead. A raid deep inside batarian space, on the doorstep of their home world. It could be done. But she knew there would be casualties. This would make Virmire look like a cakewalk. She left the shuttle, the Normandy's berth was a few hundred feet away. She made out the Normandy in the distance, a loading crew putting the finishing touches on their modifications. A small squad of marines were on the loading deck, apparently waiting for her.

"Commander Shepard? I hoped to meet with you before you left." A familiar voice said from behind her. She stopped in her tracks and her blood chilled at the sound of it.

"Thane Krios." She said with no small amounts of dread.

The Shadow Broker's agent appeared next to her. He regarded her with his lidless, reptilian eyes. His skin was a lighter shade of green. She knew nothing of drell physiology but the change in tone struck her.

"I trust you are in good health?" He said.

Kara shrugged. "What do you want? Let's get this over with."

"Commander, there's no need to be rude. Your Lieutenant contacted me to obtain your whereabouts. Which the Broker was able to provide. As you know, there is to be a cost to this. Quid pro quo in one of your dead languages. Despite your recent rejection of his offer, the Broker is still willing to negotiate with you. You've seen firsthand how reliable his information is. The Broker learned long before the council about the Leviathan of Dis. He's willing to offer you the information that will lead you to defeat the Reaper threat, once and for all. It will only cost you a small favour to be granted at a later date when your obligations are less arduous."

"My answer's the same as last time." Kara said.

"Very well." Thane said, he hunched his shoulders, as if he were hoping for a different result. "Your alternate choice is to help a shipment pass through C-Sec security without their inspection. As a Spectre, you can accomplish this with a simple call."

Kara looked to her left, an asari cruiser was docked, stevedores were unloading and loading cargo. They knew nothing of what was at stake in her mission. Knew nothing that a Spectre and an agent of the Shadow Broker were bargaining.

"If I refuse?" She said.

"The consequences would be most unfortunate." The drell said. "It would be best not to tempt the Broker's ire."

"What's in the shipment?" Kara asked.

"Do you really want to know?" Thane said.

Kara shook her head after thinking about it. "If I let this shipment through, is my obligation to the Broker ended?"

"Yes." Thane said. "The Broker does not often discharge people from his service so easily." There was an odd catch in his voice, and his eyes flickered.

Kara sighed. "Give me the details of the shipment. And fuck off." She walked away, looking down at her feet. Just what was she letting into the Citadel? A bomb? Slaves? Something worse? But she couldn't blame Ashley for this. The only entity who deserved blame was Cerberus. She would make them pay for sacrificing her integrity, for... everything they'd done. Make them pay in blood.

* * *

She was lost in her thoughts when she came upon the Normandy's berth. The Lieutenant in charge of the marines saw her approaching and ordered his squad to attention. She morphed into proper marching and approached the Lieutenant. He was rather impressively built and towered over her by several inches, his face and eyes were hard, he had a deep vertical scar just below his left eye. Innocents don't join the Damned 33rd. They saluted another as she marched to him.

"Commander Shepard? Second Lieutenant Vega. The Damned 33rd are ready to stand under your command."

She nodded. "Lieutenant. How deeply have you been briefed?"

"I've been briefed about the Reapers ma'am. I'm honoured the Damned 33rd are part of that fight."

Shepard turned and faced the marines. "Welcome to the Normandy. We will need you in the coming mission. Just don't let that get to your heads, we're the Navy. We have standards here."

A muted chuckle went through the marines.

"Grab your gear and get aboard. Dismissed." They snapped to attention and turned to the left with the precision of a veteran drill squad. She met Traynor at the airlock entrance as the marines filed in.

"What's our status?" She asked.

"All crew aboard. All systems nominal."

"Cast off and set course for the Kite's Nest relay. We're rendezvousing with an STG team. We'll have a full briefing when we meet."

* * *

She went down to engineering and found Jack. In the coming mission, she could probably be relied upon to lay suppressing fire. But it was her biotics that had drawn her interest. She was working on a shotgun, experimenting with various mods.

"Hey, so we off to fuck Cerberus?" Jack asked as she saw Shepard approaching. "You look like shit."

 _Is this her idea of hitting on me?_ "Not yet." Shepard said, deciding to ignore her other comment.

Jack glared at her like a petulant child. "Why the fuck not?"

"We have a mission. It's more important than Cerberus."

"What is it?" Jack said.

"It's in batarian space. We're going to blow up a Reaper. I'm going to need you to be part of the mission. That means following orders. Can I count on you?"

Jack turned to face her, something about how she looked at her Kara found disturbing. "Like I said before, if it involves killing or fucking, you can count on me."

"Just how powerful are your biotics?"

Jack slung her shotgun over her shoulder, she adopted a cocky posture.

"I'm off the scale." Jack said. "I've gone toe to toe with asari and fucked them up."

"What implants do you have? What's your training?" Shepard asked.

Jack laughed "That's a story for another day. You've seen what I can do. That should be enough."

Kara decided that was enough, and headed to her quarters. It was time to get ready for the mission. She found Ashley there, sitting on her..., their, bed, cleaning her rifle. Kara pulled her armour out of her locker. She grabbed her Revenant rifle and joined Ash in cleaning it. They busied themselves preparing their weapons and armour, but that took only an hour. They were tense, and spoke little. They still had a few hours to kill before they met with STG.

Ash looked nervous, she hesitantly pulled a small red box out of her duffelbag and placed it on the bedside table. "I bought this while you were getting briefed. It's a present. For both of us, actually."

Kara made towards it, but Ash grabbed her hand and stopped her. "You're not allowed to open it until we get back." Ash was tense, and despite her playful words, her voice betrayed the tension she felt. Kara felt no more relaxed. Ash let go of her hand and Kara forgot about the box.

"I'm worried about you, Ash." Kara said finally, sliding into bed, facing her. "I don't know if I can be a good battlefield commander now that we're close."

Ash looked at her crossly. "You're not leaving me behind. I belong out there, with you. With everyone else. "

"I know." Kara said. "I would never ask you to stay behind, because you'd kick my ass." Kara forced a smile, but it didn't last long. Ash wasn't smiling at her lame joke, either. "We'll learn to live with it, I guess."

"I worry about you, too, Kara." Ashley said, stroking her lover's hair. Kara stiffened at this. "We've crossed a line that soldiers aren't supposed to cross. But I don't worry about you on the battlefield. It's off it. You have so much on your shoulders. How do you feel?"

Kara didn't hesitate. Weeks ago she would've shrugged off a question like this. There was trust there now. And something more. Ashley didn't look upon her any differently than before. She wasn't diminished for having these feelings. There was no condescension, no pity, no disillusionment. Just...acceptance and understanding.

"I feel like...I have this elephant I have to carry on my back...and I don't know if I can." Kara said. "Everyone looks to me for what to do next and I don't know. Most of these visions I have make no sense. I don't know how to beat the Reapers. I'm just as clueless as anyone else. I'm just making it up as I go along. And the Protheans? How much help can they be? They lost. I feel like I'm lying with every word I say. But I have to be strong for everyone. And I don't know how much stronger I can be."

She was silent and Ashley took the chance to speak. "Another thing that worries me, is how you blame yourself. For Kaidan, Akuze, everyone else, they're not your fault." Kara made to object but Ashley silenced her before she managed to say anything by placing her fingers gently upon her lips. "Soldiers die in war. We know that signing up, and someone is going to die carrying out your orders. It's one thing to learn from something like that. It's another to beat yourself over the head with it. That's what you've been doing. That's why Dead Shep bothers you so much."

Kara couldn't believe that Ash had dissected her so thoroughly and yet, so painlessly.

"You're doing an amazing job. If it wasn't for you, we'd all be Reaper chow." Ashley said, caressing her friend's face, hair, and neck to comfort her. "You're the strongest person I've met. Being strong and being perfect are two different things. Remember, I've seen you dance."

Kara felt herself chuckle. "That you're still willing to push on despite how hard this is on you, shows how stronger you really are. We're close. Very close. We're going to blow up this Reaper. Then the Council's going to build that weapon. If the Reapers ever do come through, we'll be able to stop them."

"I hope so." Kara found her eyes beginning to water. She wasn't sure why.

"I'm here for you." Ashley said. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me." Kara said with quiet desperation. Shocked at how naked her need was, how plainly she'd voiced it. She felt the armour she'd worn all her life was stripped away in one fell swoop. "Just hold me."

They held another tightly, as if they were a life preserver and they adrift in a vast ocean amidst a storm. Kara felt safe. But she knew that feeling would soon end.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The Normandy met Captain Kirrahe's frigate, the Onuj, a few hundred kilometers away from the relay. In its company was a freighter. She called for a briefing. Tali, Ashley, Garrus, Traynor, Mordin, Liara and Vega were present. The STG captain appeared on their view screen. There was an almost imperceptible frown when the two salarians saw another. She wondered what exactly their history was but trusted both of them to act professionally when the time came.

"Good to see you again, Captain." Shepard said to the salarian over the comms.

"It's good to be working together, again." Kirrahe said.

"Okay." Shepard said, standing in front of her crew. "So, this is our mission. A few years ago the batarians found the remains of a dead Reaper. They moved it to Aratoht in the Bahak system. Our mission is to go in and destroy it. The Onuj has a nuclear device we're going to deliver to the Reaper. We blow it up. Then we head home."

Grim faces looked at her and among themselves. Even looking in Ash's direction didn't provide a source of encouragement. She turned to face Kirrahe on the video screen.

"What's with the freighter?" She said.

"The freighter is remotely operated, a diversion. If the batarians sense a relay opening but no ships coming through, they're going to be suspicious. If they see a freighter coming through, they won't be."

"Good thinking." Shepard said. "Do you have any ground intel?"

"Negative. Of Aratoht, we only have cosmic survey charts that are decades old."

"Well, if anyone can pull this off going in blind, it's us." Shepard said. "What's your payload?" She asked. Kirrahe answered, 14 commandos and a hovercraft, it was lightly armoured but highly maneuverable and with twin missile launchers, packed a sizeable punch. And the nuke. The most important part of their arsenal.

"We'll speak again when we're on the other side of the jump gate. Once we're in the system we'll have eyes on the target and we can formulate a plan." Shepard said.

"Acknowledged. Kirrahe out."

* * *

She and Ash spent the time in transit in their quarters. They laid together on the bed holding another and not doing much else. She could tell Ash was scared. It was in how Ash held her and looked at her. As if she were some kind of talisman to protect her from harm. She'd never seen Ash like this. There was always a spark, a defiant fire in her. But she didn't see that. That worried her more than anything.

"Emerging in 10 minutes." Joker announced on the intercom.

Kara and Ashley sighed. They shared a slow, tender kiss. They looked at another as they sat up. An odd look passed between them.

"We'll be okay." Kara said. Ashley squeezed her hand and they went to dressing themselves, donning their armour and weapons. They said nothing to another, a dead silence broken only by the sound of their weapons snapping onto their armour.

"We'll be okay." Ash said to her. Kara squeezed her hand. It was almost voiced like a question rather than an affirmation. They left her quarters and went up to the CIC. The CIC was quiet. There was no chatter among the crew that wasn't functional. Everyone looked at their workstations and didn't look around. Traynor was busy, working with Joker and Garrus to ensure their weapons systems were as best as they could be. She was surprised to not find a cup of coffee waiting for her. For once, she wasn't in a mood for coffee.

The Normandy and the frigate emerged from the Gate just behind the dummy freighter. The freighter took a slow course towards Bastzuda's main space port, just as if it were an ordinary freighter on an ordinary commercial run. The two frigates engaged their stealth systems and banked sharply, heading straight towards their ultimate destination.

Shepard called up the ladar on the galaxy map. There were almost 60 warships on patrol, everything from pairs of small fighters to a couple of dreadnoughts. Their patrol routes kept them close to the key strategic points in the system. Even with their stealth systems, it would be difficult to get them through undetected, but Joker would up to the task.

"What's our ETA to Aratoht?" Shepard asked.

"25 Minutes." Not a lot of time to formulate battle plan. But it was better than no time at all. It was clear they wouldn't have much time before the batarian forces would converge and overwhelm them.

"Link us up with Kirrahe in the Comms room. And have Vega meet us there ASAP."

She almost ran the short distance to the Comms room. Ashley followed on her heels.

In the Comm room she called up a map of the site. The site was circular, the bottom of a long-dead volcano, 5 miles in circumference in a deep valley surrounded by tall, jagged mountains. The mountains were lined with AA batteries. At the northern edge of the valley was a landing pad. Along the edge of the valley were various buildings; living quarters, storage sheds, environmental facilities, generators, hangars and some other buildings that looked oddly like holding pens, as if livestock were being held within them. At the south side, dwarfing everything in its shadow was the Reaper itself. It was standing, next to an elevator leading to access inside the Reaper. Standing in the Reaper's shadow were a queue of several cargo containers. These could be used for cover when they landed.

Capt. Kirrahe appeared on the main viewscreen. Then Vega arrived, decked out in full combat armour. His plating was filled with burn marks and dents, from his greaves up to his helmet. Having worn armour was a matter of pride. Legends told of Dammed 33rd veterans going into combat wearing old armour held together with little beyond duct tape, omni-gel and prayers.

"What are you thinking, Commander?" The salarian asked her.

"This has to be a hit and run." She said. "I want the Normandy to take our their comm tower. Then we take out the batteries on the South side, drop off in front of the Reaper, unloading all our troops in one go. Our ships will stay airborne, taking out the rest of the AA batteries and anything else that becomes a threat. There's a spaceport a dozen miles away. It's probably packed with fighters and transports. I'll keep someone in the Mako to keep our ground forces some mobility. You do the same with your hovercraft. "

"We need a strike team to carry the nuke inside the Reaper and then activate it. Vega. Your marines will be responsible for delivering the nuke and I'm going with you in the Reaper. We don't know what we're up against in that thing and I'd rather aim for overkill. The rest of us will cover them until they're done. And then we bugger out." _Then we make a beeline for the jump gate and every ship will be gunning for us. They'll blockade the jump gate, blocking the only exit. Even if we make it off the moon, there's no guarantee we make it out of the system._ She pushed the thought away.

"Sounds as good of a plan as any. We will hold the left flank and the rest of your forces can hold the right flank. We would like to have someone familiar with Alliance protocols. Could we utilize Lt. Williams again?" Kirrahe asked.

"Yes." She said. Her heart stopped for a moment, she wasn't sure why.

"We will have 10, maybe 15 minutes before the batarian fleet is on top of us." Kirrahe said. Shepard nodded grimly and looked to Vega.

"I want your marines to have their helmet cams set to record when they're in the Reaper. It's probably going to be our only chance to get some intel on these things. I went the detonator on a short fuse. 10 minutes tops."

Vega nodded.

"Anything else Captain?" Shepard asked.

"We'll hold the line together, Commander." The salarian's face disappeared from the view screen.

"I want everyone in the cargo bay in 5 minutes. Suited up, fully loaded with extra grenades and med packs." Shepard said over the ship's intercom. She adjusted her tone, the words came supernaturally to her. A transient well she could draw upon in times of great need. No doubt Kirrahe was giving a similar speech on his ship.

"We've been through impossible situations before we made it through. We're in another one. The Council wouldn't be relying on us if we couldn't get it done. And they're right. If this was another crew, this would be a suicide mission. But I know all of you, and I know we're going to see this through. We faced a Reaper before and won. We are the right crew for this. Trust in your training. Trust in your shipmates. Trust in yourselves. Shepard Out."

Shepard looked at Ashley. "Any words of encouragement?" She asked.

 _Cannon to right of them,_  
 _Cannon to left of them,_  
 _Cannon behind them_  
 _Volley'd and thunder'd;_  
 _Storm'd at with shot and shell,_  
 _While horse and hero fell,_  
 _They that had fought so well_  
 _Came thro' the jaws of Death_  
 _Back from the mouth of Hell,_  
 _All that was left of them,_  
 _Left of six hundred._

"I was hoping for something a little more encouraging." Shepard said as they took the elevator down to the hangar.

"Well, the present I have planned for you is very encouraging." Ashley said with a strange smile. Like she was trying to fight fear and dread with humour and hope. She decided it wasn't a bad idea, but it seemed forced. She tried to play along.

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it since someone decided I can only have it after the mission." Kara said. Her reply sounded harsher than she intended and she apologized. Ash nodded and gave her a weak smile, signalling forgiveness. The doors open and Ashley's smile vanished. It didn't take long for the entire combat team to meet in the cargo deck. Everyone strapped themselves in to the bulkheads. It would only take a few seconds to unshackle themselves and jump out of the cargo bay.

"Tali, I want you in the Mako. Garrus, you'll be in charge of the ground team when I'm in the Reaper."

Tali nodded and boarded the Mako. Under normal circumstances she would've expected a wisecrack about her driving skills. But this was far beyond normal. Everyone's face was taut with tension; everyone was standing upright. No one was sitting or standing in a relaxed posture. Even Jack's face was tense. She looked ill fitting in standard combat armour. Kara was worried just how receptive would she be to orders? Would she know to take cover? To conserve her shots?

"ETA 5 minutes." Joker said over the intercom.

More than few people spat and cursed. This was the worst. Every soldier dreaded this more than combat, more than death or grievous injury. The waiting. The Normandy hummed quietly. They had no way of knowing what was out there, how close they were to the batarians' patrol net. Even Jack looked worried.

"ETA 2 minutes. Beginning atmospheric descent." Joker said.

The Normandy shook, the dull quiet was replaced with the roar of air rushing past the airframe. By now, the batarian sensors would be picking them up. Even a stealth drive couldn't mask an atmospheric re-entry. The AA batteries would be turning towards them, the base mustering its security forces and the fleet converging on their position. She swore and reached beside her, grasping onto Ashley's hand. Ashley squeezed back. The Normandy was rocked by a concussive explosion. Shepard heard the Normandy opening fire, the cargo bay shaking even more. Their first salvo aiming for the communication towers.

"Doors opening in 30 seconds. We're under fire but no damage so far." Joker said. Kara nodded to Ashley, her hand left hers. The troops all unstrapped themselves and made their way towards the cargo door, holding onto the railing. Though, if an explosion hit them, it would send them all flying.

The door wheezed open. The sky was purple, though it was just dawning. It was far from quiet. There Already the cacophonous symphony of battle had begun. Fire from the base's AA batteries, the Normandy's weapon systems firing. She saw the Reaper standing immobile before them. It seemed inert, but not unaware. Maybe it knew they were here. Maybe it knew their plan and was just waiting for the right moment to awaken and unleash it's terrible power. Even with the enhanced shielding, she could feel the presence inside the Reaper. Malevolent. Unknowable. Yet, it was still standing there. Doing nothing. _Waiting._

As soon as it had enough clearing, Tali sped off in the Mako. Two dozen feet in the air Kara gave the order to jump. They leapt out, their booster packs slowing their descent just enough. They hit the ground running. They took cover behind the cargo containers. She couldn't guess as to what was inside, nor did she want to.

They linked up with the crew from the Unoj, she and the Marines took control of the nuclear bomb and made for the Reaper. The bomb was strapped into a a armoured, mobile cart. It's VI was set to follow Vega, liberating their squad from having to haul it around. Ashley joined the STG's team. They spread out, taking cover behind a small storage bunker. With two main concentrations, they had an excellent breadth of fire and would be able to cover their journey into the Reaper.

"Commander. Surface fighters have been scrambled. 20 of them. They'll be on us in five minutes." Traynor radioed to her.

"You better take out those batteries before they get here." She said.

"Roger." Traynor said, the Normandy thundered overhead. Its batteries and defense systems raining fire upon an AA battery. The Normandy was glistening in the dawning sun, it's barriers deflecting missiles and AA fire. The base's security forces were scrambling. Troops storming out of the barracks. Hangar doors opening, revealing dozens of Hydra mechs.

"Tali. Focus on the mechs."

"Roger."

The marines threw their smoke grenades and together sprinted to the elevator shaft, falling within the Reaper's shadow. It was an odd contrast to see such a banal structure standing next to the towering ebony behemoth. Her steps felt uncertain, like she wasn't running on solid ground but something viscous.

A marine was felled by sniper fire as they reached the shaft. They piled into the elevator, it was a freight elevator, just large enough to accommodate all of them and the nuclear bomb they were carrying. She looked beyond them as they rode upwards. The hovercraft and Mako were doing a good job of engaging the mechs but were getting hit themselves. Her team and the STG were holding their own. The batarians were trying to advance but their advance was stalled for now. She spied Ashley, far away. She was holding her own, exhibiting her usual, solid fire discipline. She felt a strange feeling that she wanted Ashley to look to her. She pushed it away. _So far, so good._

"The AA batteries are all gone. We're going to engage the fighters." Traynor said.

"Don't get too tangled up, you need to stay close. " Shepard said.

"Understood."

The elevator came to the top. The doors opened and they rushed forward. She took the lead with Vega. They readied their weapons. The marines were armed with a mix of Shotguns, SMGs and Assault Rifles. She activated a drone and sent it forward. The glowing red orb streamed ahead of them. It crossed the threshold from the bridge into the Reaper. The drone vanished. It wasn't destroyed or hacked or anything. It just vanished. She had no readings on her Omni-Tool.

She sent another drone and the same thing happened. Her confidence wavered. She and Vega stopped when they came to the threshold. They looked to another and nodded. There wasn't much enthusiasm in their gestures, only the knowledge they had no time.

"Stay close and in radio contact. No one splits up." Shepard ordered. The marines nodded. "Let's do this!"

They entered, stepped forward a few steps and saw nothing. Only pitch blackness. They activated their nightvision goggles but it helped little. The Reaper wasn't dark, it was a complete absence of light. Night vision mode did not work because there was no light to draw from. The light from outside didn't exist here. Vega and a few of his marines activated their flashlights and there was no difference. The darkness swallowed the light. Shepard felt a hint of the Reaper's consciousness. Somehow, she knew it was mocking them.

"Zero visibility." Vega said.

One of the marines swore. "This is some freaky shit."

"Can it, Hudson." Vega said. His tone was firm but not harsh. Hudson said nothing and no one was inclined to break the silence.

"Let's set the nuke here. Set the fuse. 8 Minutes." Shepard said. Going deeper into...whatever the Reaper was would only get them lost. Or worse.

"We should set charges to the elevator when we get back." Vega said. That would cut off any remaining possibility the batarians could deactivate the nuke. Although the short fuse would more than accomplish that.

"Agreed."

The bomb was armed and they retreated. The morning light blinded them. She was expecting something more from the Reaper. She looked at her clock, all told they'd taken less than 2 minutes. _Not bad._

"Shepard to Normandy. Bomb is hot. We got less than 7 minutes."

"On our way." Joker said, his voice tense.

"Commander. I'm glad you made it out." It was Williams. _Yeah, me too_.

"Shepard to ground team. Get ready for evac." She said. They boarded the elevator and rode downward. One of the marines pulled out a satchel charge. She surveyed the battle scene. Several STG soldiers were down, Ashley and Kirrahe were holding down the left flank. The hovercraft had been shot down, it's tail section sticking out from one of the holding pens. From that building batarian husks emerged and were rushing towards their line. Hundreds of them. The batarian ground troops started advancing, now with numbers on their side.

"Tali. Deal with the husks."

"Got it, Shepard."

The marine planted the charge and they sprinted for the line of cargo containers, ducking behind cover and firing at the onrushing foes. They reached cover when the satchel charge exploded. It destroyed the base of the elevator shaft, and it crumbled into the ground. Shepard turned to look back to watch the crumbling metal collapse onto itself. The Reaper was still standing. Doing nothing. It's inactivity had a sinister air.

"Vega, I need your marines to reinforce the STG's flank. They've taken casualties."

"Roger." Vega pointed to 6 of his marines and they rushed towards the STG and Ashley's position. The mako reappeared into battle. Firing it's main and secondary guns and plowing into the horde of husks. The mako struggled after the initial impact, difficulty gaining traction on the pile of bodies below it. Liara opened a singularity. Several husks floated into the air. Jack launched a warp. The singularity exploded, felling several dozen more husks. The explosion's shockwave carried through to the Mako and it gave it a push to get away.

"Time for me to get busy." Jack said. Her body glowed a deep blue. A thick bubble enveloped her, the biotics reflected such on her skin she almost looked blue. She emerged from cover and thrust the biotic wave towards the rushing multitude. The wave came swept towards them, like a massive tidal wave. It was dozens of feet wide and high. Those caught in its wake were washed away, thrown backward with massive force, tossed into the air like ragdolls but hitting the ground like they weighed tons. Jack's actions gave them breathing room, relieving the pressure on their position.

"Holy shit!" Vega said. Jack shrugged like it was no big deal. Although the grin she wore gave her the look of someone bragging.

The Unoj appeared, flying straight for Kirrahe's team. Because the hovercraft was destroyed, it had to land to pickup their troops. There was scarring on it's hull. It came under ground fire. It's barriers absorbing it but she wondered how much it could take before the barriers came down. _When is the Normandy getting here?_

"Covering fire. Everyone!" Shepard said. They all peered beyond cover and fired their weapons, biotics, Shepard launched a drone. Jack launched another biotic shockwave that ripped a wall out of the ground. Garrus threw some grenades. Mordin was feverishly deploying incineration bolts.

"Commander!" It was Traynor. "We'll be there in 20 seconds. But the Reaper is powering up."

"Fuck. How long do we have?" Shepard said. _It's turning itself on._ _Motherfucker.  
_

"Just under two minutes until detonation." She looked to the Reaper. It was unmoving, but starting to emit lights, something that looked like biotics beginning to cover it's carapace. The ground was starting to tremble. But it didn't look like it was trying to take off.

"This is the Unoj. We have successful extraction. Will cover for the Normandy." Kirrahe said as the salarian frigate rose in the air.

She wished Ashley was with her, but there was nothing she could do about that now. The mako arrived before them. The Normandy was coming to from the East, it's cargo doors opening.

"Everyone in the Mako for extraction." She ordered.

 **YOU SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE PROTHEANS.** A deafening voice shouted within her mind. Her barriers did nothing to blot out it's thoughts. She writhed on the floor, her hands clawing at her helmet-covered ears, trying to blank out the noise coming from within her. The voice blacked out her vision, paralyzed her. She was unaware of her friends coming for her, speaking to her.

 **YOUR EFFORTS ARE AS VAIN AS THEIRS. YOUR HOPES AS EMPTY. YOU ARE DESTINED TO SHARE THEIR FATE. YOUR ASHES WILL BE JOINED TO THEIRS. NONE HAVE INTERRUPTED THE CYCLES. THEY ARE ETERNAL. BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. WE WILL BLACKEN THE SKIES OF A THOUSAND WORLDS AND LEAVE ONLY ASHES IN OUR WAKE. NONE WILL ESCAPE. YOUR PROUDEST ACHIEVEMENTS WILL BE BURIED BY TIME AND DUST. AND THE CYCLE WILL BEGIN AGAIN.** Her mind was unable to respond to the assault.

* * *

Shepard came back to herself in the back of the Mako. Her arms thrust outward like she was falling and trying to grasp onto something. "Shepard! Calm down!" Was that Garrus? Her arms and even her legs shook. Her eyes started to focus. That was Garrus. Liara was here. So was Tali, Jack, Mordin, Vega and two of his marines. _Where's Ashley?_

"We're in the Mako." Liara said. "The Normandy is about to extract us."

Shepard nodded. "Where's Ash?"

"She's with the rest of the Marines and Kirrahe in the Unoj." Garrus said.

"Standby Mako for booster sequence." She heard Joker's voice. "In 5,4,3,2,1. Mark." They were pushed back into their seats as the Mako's thrusters ignited, lifting them into the air. There was a brief moment where they hung weightless in the air. Then they were shoved forward as the Mako landed in the Normandy's cargo bay. Their bodies pushed hard against their harnesses. Even with their armour, it felt like their bodies were going to be squeezed out through the straps. While they were in atmospheric flight, they would have to remain in the mako.

"Mako secured." Tali said.

"Closing cargo doors. Prepping for atmospheric escape." Joker said. Shepard activated her comms and spoke to Traynor for a sitrep. She spoke calmly and professionally, despite the chaos enveloping them.

"We've suffered heavy damage. Kinetic barriers are down to 20%. We've lost #1 thruster. We're being swarmed by the batarian fighters. More have been launched by a dreadnought orbiting us. All batarian ships in the system are converging on our position. Another dreadnought has stationed itself in front of the relay. The STG ship is in critical condition. Its barriers are at 5%, they only have a few batteries operating. But it won't take them long to-Oh bullocks!"

"What?" Shepard shouted, her heart filled with dread. The lights words Traynor had spoken were filled with horror.

"The Reaper's activating its weapon!" Joker said. "Evading!"

They lurched violently in the Mako, still strapped into their seats as the Normandy banked sharply. There was a deafening blast, almost like a roar and the Normandy shook, caught up in turbulence.

"Shit!" It was Joker. "The Unoj's been hit. She's going down." _Ashley!_ The next few seconds felt like an eternity. Her heart stopped. _No!No!No!_

"It's impacted on the ground. Main fuselage is intact." Joker said. _She's still alive!_

"Joker! Turn us around! We have to pick them up!" Shepard shouted, her body beginning to tremble.

"Affirmative." Joker said.

"Negative." It was Traynor. "Our barriers are down. We're taking hull damage. If we take any more damage we might not make escape velocity. We have 10 fighters gunning for us. The nuke is going to blow in 65 seconds. And there's still a huge fleet out there."

"-Commander." It was Ashley. Her voice sounded weak, hoarse, wounded.

"Ash! We're coming for you!" Shepard said.

"I heard that. You need to go." She was calm, though pained.

"Ash! We're coming!" Shepard said, her voice hoarse, barely a whisper.

"It's okay, Kara." _This can't be happening._ "Hey, four eyes!" Ash strained to shout. "Say hello to my boomstick!" There was the sound of her shotgun firing. This was followed by the dying moans of a husk.

"Joker. We have to go. Now." Traynor, despite her firmness, there was no mistaking the anguish in her tone. Joker cursed. The Normandy's engines revved up even as it was buffeted by fire. They were leaving. _No, we can't leave. We have to go back! We have to go back!_

"Hey Kara." Ashley said again after a painful groan. "Promise me one thing. Promise me you won't beat yourself up over this. You won't blame yourself."

Kara opened her mouth but no words came out. Her skin paled, she felt blood draining from her face, sweat flooding from her pours, soiling her armour.

"Promise me!" Ashley's voice came through loud and strained, no longer calm.

"Promise." Kara whispered. It was a struggling to speak, to breathe. There was silence between them. Even the Normandy's engines and the sounds of battle were muted.

"And Kara." Ashley swallowed hard. "I've never been able to tell anyone this before…but I love you."

Kara's vision blurred, all strength left her, she couldn't feel her limbs. She could only feel the beating of her heart. "Love you too." She managed to say. There was more silence.

"T minus 10 seconds." Someone said.

Ashley spoke again, her voice weak but defiant and passionate. " Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Kara's mind was suddenly bombarded. **YOU HAVE NOT DEFEATED US. WE ARE LEGION. WE ARE COMING. YOU ARE ONLY PAVING THE WAY FOR OUR ARRIVAL.**

Ashley was dead. She knew the instant it happened. She didn't need to listen to the intercom to know when the nuclear device exploded. She felt it in her soul. The lightness she'd felt before was gone. Replaced by a new, unbearable heaviness of being. Like she was dragging a lodestone and was then tossed into an endless abyss, being dragged down. Deeper and deeper. She could only look with her eyes. Her arms, legs, hips, were all dead. She heard nothing. Felt nothing. She stared at the dusty ground on the mako. That's all Ashley was now. Dust.

* * *

Someone unstrapped her and helped her out of the Mako. Her feet dragged along the floor as she went up to the CIC. She took her usual place but she wasn't in control of herself. She couldn't say anything. She barely heard anything. Everyone was too busy to see her. The ship shook occasionally from weapon impacts. She heard something about taking more damage, noisemakers not having any effect, the gate being blocked. And suddenly, a Geth ship appeared and took on the batarian ships. She heard the words, felt the ship shaking, the muted elation of the crew, but it didn't register in her mind. It didn't seem important. Even when they made it to the relay and escaped the system, it didn't matter.

Traynor was trying to talk to her, but she didn't hear. She turned around and went to her quarters. She fell on her bed. Her armour still on. She was alone. Her eyes landed on the bedside table. A small red box. Ashley's gift for her. _For both of us._ Bereaved curiosity sized her. She found the strength to grab the box. Her gloved hands awkwardly handled the box. There was a small, golden clasp. She fumbled but managed to flip it open. Inside were two golden rings. It took a few moments of staring at them before she understood what they were.

For the first time since she was a child she cried. She wept. Unending, her entire body convulsed and shook like she was in the midst of a grand mal seizure. She loosed several dry, loud keening cries that sucked all the air from her lungs. She fell off the bed onto the ground, landing in front of her guitar. With her last remaining strength she grabbed the guitar and smashed it against the wall. It broke at the neck, the strings snapping, lashing out, hitting her armour like lashes from a small whip. She dropped the broken guitar and the jewellery box on the ground, the wedding rings rolling uselessly on the floor. Her world blackened and so did her vision.


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Present arms."

"Fire."

The antiquated bolt action rifles fired in the air. Her body shook, she'd been startled by them. Like it was 21 dreadnought batteries firing, not old rifles. The rain was pouring. Hard. Her uniform was soaked to her skin. The water mingled with her tears, forming an unending stream down her face.

"Fire."

Another salvo loosed. Another grave. Another empty coffin. Another token of her legacy. Dead Shep had struck again. The coffin was as barren as her soul. Of course, she was buried right next to Kaidan. She was standing next to Ashley's disconsolate mother and sister, and all her friends from the Normandy, she felt alone. Terribly alone. Shared grief was no comfort. They had an empty hole in their lives. A hole she'd dug. She'd done something wrong, made a mistake. _I should've kept her close during the raid._

"Fire."

She thought of Ashley's favourite poem and the music she'd written for it. As the bugler played taps, she played the music over in her mind and quietly recited the words.

 _Whose woods these are I think I know._  
 _His house is in the village though;_  
 _He will not see me stopping here_  
 _To watch his woods fill up with snow._  
 _My little horse must think it queer_  
 _To stop without a farmhouse near_

 _Between the woods and frozen lake_  
 _The darkest evening of the year._  
 _He gives his harness bells a shake_  
 _To ask if there is some mistake._  
 _The only other sound's the sweep_  
 _Of easy wind and downy flake._

 _The woods are lovely, dark and deep,_  
 _But I have promises to keep,_  
 _And miles to go before I sleep,_  
 _And miles to go before I sleep._

The rain continued to fall. She remained at the grave. Long after everyone had left. Long after nightfall. The rain continued unabated. Her skin was pruning and coldness insidiously seeping her bones. She was shaking with the cold. And more. _I'm not going to quit, Ash. I'm going to try to finish this thing. But I don't know how._

 _I miss you._

 _I love you._

 _Goodbye._

 **The End**

* * *

To be concluded in Part 2: s/12664169/1/Mass-Effect-Logical-Insanity-Part-2


End file.
